Future Pet Shop-Chapter 34: The Chatterbox Parrot
’Sooner or later, I’m dead. Might as well be sooner,’ Shen Yibin thought, gritting his teeth. ’I might as well just get it over with and see what it is. Last time they sent a panda. Are they going to send me a crested ibis this time?’ He made up his mind, opened the chat window, and briskly typed, "You there? Send me the second pet!"
"Alright. Shipping immediately. You have two months and twenty-eight days to sell this pet. Otherwise, your partnership status will be downgraded to a trial partnership." The Future Pet Shop replied almost instantly, not forgetting to remind him to complete his sales quota.
"Got it," Shen Yibin replied listlessly. "Can you give me a heads-up on what this pet is? Just so I can prepare myself mentally." 𝚏𝗿𝗲𝐞𝐰𝚎𝕓𝐧𝚘𝘃𝗲𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝕞
"No. You’ll know when you receive it." As expected, the Future Pet Shop heartlessly rejected his request.
’Dude, you should be an HR director at Foxconn. Why are you wasting your talents running a tiny pet shop?’ Shen Yibin was in awe of their skill at squeezing people dry. But he was at their mercy, so he had no choice but to endure it.
He got up and helped Hah’Er finish feeding the pets. Just as Shen Yibin opened the door to reopen the shop for the day, his phone started ringing. "Panda, panda, panda, panda, cold as a mountain, warm as a flower..."
’That was fast.’ Shen Yibin pressed the answer button while poking his head out to look around. "Hey, your pet’s been delivered. I’ve got other shops to get to, so I just left it at your door." It was the same rushed tone, the same terrible customer service. The caller hung up before Shen Yibin could even respond.
’Huh? I didn’t see anyone pass by my storefront. How on earth did they deliver it?’ In the blink of an eye, a medium-sized package had appeared at the entrance to his shop.
Shen Yibin quickly dragged the package back inside and handed it over to Hah’Er. "Hah’Er, open it up and see what’s inside. I’ll be right back." With that, Shen Yibin dashed across the street and knocked on Bai Yanni’s car window. "Bai, did you happen to see anyone pass by my shop just now?" ’I really want to know how this package was delivered.’
"No, I didn’t. I didn’t see anyone walk past your shop," Bai Yanni said, completely baffled. Still not giving up, Shen Yibin asked a few other reporters squatting by the door, but he came up empty. Nobody had seen anyone pass by.
’Does this delivery company use spatial teleportation or some kind of magical sword delivery? How are they so phantom-like?’ Shen Yibin gave up asking and hurried back to the shop. ’Hah’Er has probably opened the package by now, right?’
"Hah’Er, what did they send this time?" The moment the words left his mouth, Shen Yibin felt like an idiot. ’Even if Hah’Er knew what it was, he couldn’t tell me. What a dumb question. I’d better just go look.’
"My life is such a tragedy! I’d just left the pet breeding center, praying I’d get a good owner so I could live a carefree life. But I was wrong! How could they send the most intelligent, most handsome, most dashing parrot with the most charming voice in the entire breeding center into the hands of a moron!" Hah’Er had torn a large hole in the package, and a stream of complaints came pouring out before Shen Yibin could even see what was inside. A parrot then poked its head out, stared at Shen Yibin, and said, "Did you really think this silly-looking panda in front of you could master language as intelligently as I can? That last question of yours—was it because your expectations for the panda were too high, or does your brain simply lack the most basic common sense?"
"Hmph!" Hah’Er seemed to be angered by the parrot’s words. His furry paw slammed down hard on the package, kicking up a cloud of dust that covered the parrot.
"COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!" The parrot flapped its wings a few times to clear the dust, but it seemed startled by Hah’Er’s action. "Hey, buddy, I didn’t mean to offend you! I was just lamenting our shared, tragic fate! Look at the brain-dead owner we’re stuck with. Just think how difficult our lives are going to be from now on." As it spoke, the parrot even brought a wing to its eye, pretending to wipe away tears.
"Haha! But I only have to put up with this for three months at most before I can leave with a new owner." Before Shen Yibin could react, the little creature’s tears turned to laughter. With a FLUTTER, it flew onto Hah’Er’s shoulder and patted his big head. "Then, I’ll be off to enjoy a life of leisure in a spacious villa, while you’ll still be stuck suffering in this cramped, shabby, filthy pet shop with a dimwitted owner and his equally dimwitted pets."
’Damn it! I’ll be damned if I make you dinner! My name isn’t Shen if I do!’ They had met less than three minutes ago, and Shen Yibin was already about to explode with rage at this parrot. ’Are you here just to wreck my shop?’
"SOB SOB SOB! Three months! I have to endure this for three more months!" ’This parrot is completely insane!’ It hadn’t even laughed twice before it started crying again. Its wails were so miserable they could make a statue weep. "SOB SOB SOB, the thought of having to suffer for three months in this cramped, shabby, filthy pet shop with a dumbass owner, a dumbass panda, and their equally dumbass pets just makes me want to die! Oh, heavens! Heavens! Please, let a beautiful young lady with a giant villa come and rescue me from this hell!"
"Hmph!"
"Shut up!"
"AWOO AWOO!"
"MEOW! MEOW!"
Shen Yibin and Hah’Er shouted at the same time to stop it. They were both on the verge of a breakdown from the parrot’s verbal assault. Even the nearby Chihuahuas and Siamese Cats couldn’t stand the torture from this chatterbox anymore. In just a few minutes, this thing had spewed more words than Shen Yibin had heard in all the days since he first met Hah’Er combined.
"If you don’t want to starve, you’d better shut your mouth." ’I knew the Future Pet Shop wouldn’t make things easy for me. With a chatterbox like this around, forget three months—I probably won’t even last three days.’
"Fine, you’re the boss for now! You call the shots!" The parrot quickly covered its beak with a wing and hid behind Hah’Er’s head. But three seconds later, it peeked out again. "May I ask what you plan to feed me? I prefer figs, the ones from Brazil are the best, but they have to be fresh. I don’t like dried fruit. If you really can’t get those, ones from the Northwest are acceptable. But absolutely no figs from the Mediterranean. The taste of those is simply..."
"Shut up!"
"Hmph!"
Shen Yibin and Hah’Er were breaking down again. Damn it, this guy’s destructive power was just too immense.
Taking advantage of the gap while His Majesty was talking, Shen Yibin quickly started rummaging through the package, hoping to find this thing’s identification papers.
