Future Pet Shop-Chapter 35: Cheeky
It seemed that after his upgrade to a Level 3 Partner with the Future Pet Shop, their service quality had improved as well. The package actually contained a full set of identification documents. From these papers, Shen Yibin learned the parrot’s species. It was a yellow-winged, blue-crowned Amazon parrot, also known as a blue-capped parrot. It was one of the more common Amazon parrots, often favored for its excellent speaking ability and beautiful appearance, making it a very suitable pet bird.
The parrot’s body was mostly green, with a brilliant blue forehead. It had yellow feathers on the crown of its head, around its eyes, on its ear coverts, and on its thighs. The front bend of its wings had a mix of red and yellow feathers. Its primary flight feathers and coverts were green with bluish-purple tips, while its secondary coverts had red feathers in the middle. Its tail was green with a yellowish-green tip, its beak was grayish-black, and its irises were orange. While not as vibrant as a macaw, it was still a beautiful bird. ’Of course, it would be perfect if it wasn’t so chatty.’
The customs declarations, purchase invoices, and other such documents were all in order. ’But I’m sure they’re all fakes created by the Future Pet Shop. Of course, in this world, it’s unlikely anyone will ever find out.’
Shen Yibin carefully put the documents away, rummaged through a drawer, and found a few peanuts to toss over. The parrot immediately perked up. With a FLAP, it flew into the air, snatching and pecking at the nuts until it had quickly eaten every last one.
"Neither of us seems to be a big fan of the other, but seeing as we’ll probably have to live together for a while, I think we should get to know each other first. What do you say?" Shen Yibin poured the rest of the peanuts onto the coffee table in front of him.
"You’re right. Though I am most unfortunate, sometimes fate is just that unpredictable. We must all accept things we are unwilling to accept but must accept, must we not?" The parrot landed on the coffee table and rattled off another long speech before finally starting on the peanuts.
"My name is Shen Yibin, and I’m the owner of this shop. I’ll try to find you a new owner as soon as possible. That’s Hah’Er, the panda who arrived a few days before you. And I should call you..." Shen Yibin was cut off by a burst of wild laughter before he could finish.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA, Hah’Er! Hah’Er!" The parrot was laughing so hard it could barely stand. It collapsed onto the coffee table, flapping its wings and slapping the surface, its voice now mimicking a thick Sichuan accent. "Hey, chubby boy, are you a blockhead or something? Of all the names in the world, you had to be called ’Hah’Er’? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Don’t you know ’Hah’Er’ means ’fool’ around here? I think you really are a proper idiot!"
"Hmph!" Hah’Er looked like he was about to go crazy from the taunting. He slammed his paws on the coffee table and snorted heavily, looking for all the world like he was about to skin the parrot alive and eat it whole.
’If this guy wasn’t backed by the Future Pet Shop, I’d totally be cheering you on right now. I really can’t afford to cross them.’ With a sharp CLICK, Shen Yibin snapped the lid back on the peanut jar. "Alright, I guess you don’t like these."
"Wait, I was wrong." The parrot’s laughter stopped abruptly. With a few quick TAP-TAP-TAPS, it expertly pecked the remaining peanuts off the coffee table and into its beak, then said pitifully, "That’s inhumane of you. How could you bear to let a parrot as intelligent, handsome, dashing, and charmingly-voiced as me go hungry..."
"That’s enough." Seeing it was about to launch into another long-winded speech, Shen Yibin quickly held up a hand to stop it. "Don’t you know it’s rude to make fun of someone’s name? Apologize to Hah’Er right now, or you won’t get any more peanuts. If your apology is sincere, I’ll go buy you some figs later."
"Hey, my friend, I didn’t mean to offend your honorable name, but it can’t be helped when I’m fluent in so many languages! As soon as I think of the name Hah’Er, I just can’t help it, I really can’t..." As it spoke, the creature collapsed onto the coffee table again, flapping its wings and laughing so hard it couldn’t straighten up.
’Sigh, this guy is a lost cause.’ Shen Yibin had already given up on trying to have a proper conversation with it. ’From now on, I’ll just have to control its food supply in exchange for a few moments of peace and quiet.’
"So, can I know your name? I assume you have one?" ’I had to name Hah’Er because he can’t talk. A parrot this chatty must have named itself long ago, right? Perfect, that saves me the trouble.’
"Of course, of course! I’m not some chubby, foolish, roly-poly creature. I am the world’s most intelligent, most handsome, most dashing, and most beautifully-voiced parrot! I naturally possess a name that is noble, resounding, and unforgettable from the moment you hear it! Only that would befit my status." The parrot stood up from the coffee table, puffing out its chest as it spoke.
"So, you wish to know my name?" The parrot tilted its head, nudging its claw against the glass jar of peanuts. "To be granted the knowledge of the name of a parrot as intelligent, handsome, dashing, and beautifully-voiced as myself is a great honor. Shouldn’t you perhaps show some appreciation?"
"If you can state your name in a single sentence, I’ll give you three peanuts. For every extra word, I’ll deduct one. The clock starts now." Shen Yibin twisted open the lid, counted out three peanuts, and held them out in his palm in front of the parrot.
The parrot was instantly conflicted. Forcing it not to be long-winded was worse than death, but it had been starving in that package for a long time. It really couldn’t bear to give up the peanuts that were right within its grasp.
It covered its beak with a wing, writhing back and forth. After squirming for a long while, the parrot finally lowered its wing, took a deep breath, and rattled off its name like a machine gun, "My honorable name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Clito Ruíz y Picasso."
Dizzy from the ridiculously long name, Shen Yibin immediately abandoned any thought of asking the parrot to repeat it. He took a deep breath and asked with difficulty, "That’s your name? Why does it sound Spanish?"
"I am a noble-blooded yellow-winged, blue-crowned Amazon parrot. My ancestors lived in the Amazon basin in Bolivia, so is it really so strange that I have a Spanish name..." The parrot with the long, tongue-twisting name was about to say more, but Shen Yibin quickly tossed it some peanuts, finally managing to shut it up for a moment.
"Alright, that name is way too long. I’ll never remember it. So, I’ve decided to give you a shorter name. From now on, you’re Cheeky." Shen Yibin mentally high-fived himself for his own genius. The name couldn’t be more perfect for this parrot.
