Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 629: The Word “Laser” Can Excite Everyone!

BLURB> He was reborn by mistake. Raised with purpose. Loved by a god. Worshipped by monsters. And the galaxy doesn’t stand a fucking chance.Irvine’s soul took one wrong turn through the wheel of karma and woke up in a body grown by an intergalactic hivemind goddess with boundary issues and galaxy-sized ambition. Now he’s the golden child of a psychic swarm that feeds on control and burns whole worlds for affection.With Crystal at the helm, warriors like Kimchi, relic-weapons like Kiya, and a council of psionic horrors eager to call him king, Irvine must choose what kind of god he wants to be.Because when a hivemind learns to love......it doesn’t know when to stop.The universe will kneel—or get devoured trying.SYNOPSISIrvine didn’t ask to be reincarnated, but the cosmos had other plans. And it didn’t hand him a cheat code or a clean slate—just one random boon, selected by an uncaring divine roulette wheel.Good karma? Bad karma? Balanced as all fuck.Now he's reborn in the body of a psionically tuned alien hybrid, raised from psychic infancy by Crystal, the hivemind queen of a race so advanced they’ve abandoned individuality for shared omniscience. All except her baby boy.Irvine is the singularity inside the swarm, the first soul allowed to think, dream, and desire independently. Trained by warriors like Kimchi, advised by bio-symbiotes like Kiya, loved ferociously by hive sisters like Diane, and shadowed by powers ancient and unnamed, Irvine is both weapon and wielder, saint and sacrifice.But empires don’t run on hugs and handjobs. As Crystal expands her dominion—across star systems and sentient nebulae—Irvine must lead the charge through blood, fire, and psionic flame.His soul is still human. His body? Engineered for extinction. His heart? Not entirely his anymore.

[You can now choose three of the following seven options
1. Go back to five years ago with the present memory
2. Five centimeters taller
3. Seven million deposits
4. Appearance +50 points
5. A company with a market capitalization of 500 million
6. Proficient in a foreign language
7. Teaser live broadcast 10 million virtual coins]

Li Ang became angry after finishing the selection: choose every day, choose, choose, you will give it after the selection!
…
Fuck, it’s really shipped!

- Description from novelbuddy

“Dear, it's time for your medicine!”The beautiful and pure Holy Daughter brought over the medicine for treating his wounds.On this day, he saw betrayal with his own eyes and experienced despair with his soul...From this day forth, the Hero was dead, send paper offerings if you must!