Operation Honey Trap vs The Emperor of the Apocalypse-Chapter 92: Put Your Cullions Away!

Delphi dropped the offending articles of clothing like she’d been burnt and hurriedly stood back up.

"Niko! Put your bloody cullions away this instant!" Alton shouted at the man, who sheepishly dragged his shorts back up.

"It’s ’General’, not ’young lady’," said Delphi sulkily, glaring at the man’s back. "How would you like it if I called you ’boy’?" she muttered under her breath.

"You can try," he said deceptively lightly.

She edged over to join Alton on the frontline against the dingo.

"Another one’s climbing under the branch Niko," she called back to the man. "You’re fussing about nothing," she complained to Alton. "You nearly scared me off the branch."

"We’ll talk about it later."

The look he threw her said it wouldn’t be a good talk.

"It’s fine," she said lightly. "I’m done with the talk. Good talk thanks. On three, you strike from the right and I’ll strike from the left."

"Hm," he nodded his assent.

"One... two... three!"

Just as they both struck, the dog whimpered and lay down on the branch. Their swords made a clanging noise as they struck each other’s blades, their target suddenly MIA.

Alton’s blade ricocheted off Delphi’s and hit the branch above them.

There was a loud crack.

"Look out!" shouted Delphi.

They all instinctively ducked as the struck branch sheered away and fell to the ground with a massive thud, sending up a big spray of dust and leaves. It passed inches from their noses, leaving them with a few decent scratches on its way through.

The four warriors peered down at the fallen tree limb and wiped their brows with relief.

"Look at Fido," said Niko, tilting his head at the dog. "He’s playing dead. Did you two kill him."

"Nope," they said together.

As one, they all turned to look at their bait.

Sure enough, a smaller looking dingo puppy was laying down next to it.

"Looks like we’ve had a win," grinned Alton. It was finally blessedly silent after all of the rabid barking and growling. "Try it out Delphi."

Delphi turned back to the beast now lying on their branch. "Get out of here boy," she shooed him with her hands. "Get back down on the ground."

The dog immediately shuffled backwards to the trunk and swiftly climbed back down the elm, sitting at the base of the tree and waiting for her.

"And you," she peered down at the dog still clinging underneath them. "What are you still doing there, down you go too."

The second climber also shuffled back the way he had come and descended the tree lickety-split, sitting next to the other fellow, ears pricked.

Feifei and Delphi performed their Guerilla Girl handshake in celebration, smiling gleefully at their success.

"Is that your secret girls’ handshake?" asked Niko.

"Yup," said Delphi.

"Are you going to let us in on it now we’ve sworn the oath?"

"When you’ve earned it," she teased.

"What the hell! How many times do we need to save your lives to earn the handshake" he said, incredulous. "If I recall correctly, you’ve just been sitting on my shoulder at fifty feet up in the canopy General."

"Only because you two were too heavy for the next branch up. And if I recall correctly, you flashed at Feifei and me and made General Meyer angry, so I think we’re even."

Niko stuttered with anger as he tried to defend himself. That bloody minx had to remind his commanding officer about it, didn’t she?

"Yo... you’re Lieutenant here stripped me with her boots when she slid off my shoulder. It was probably deliberate for all I know."

"Deliberate! Hah!" laughed Delphi sarcastically. "You really think we want to look at your hairy arse Lieutenant Espey?"

"It’s not hairy; you should know that by now. I’m a natural blond, see?" he pulled at his short light blond hair. "And you weren’t looking at my arse you were looking at my..."

"Lieutenant!" roared Alton. "That’s enough. I don’t care whose fault the dacking was. Next time your private parts are on display in front of a woman, you cover them up tout de suite! And I shouldn’t have to tell you that. Were you raised by wolves?"

"No sir! Understood sir!" Niko saluted unhappily.

He had no idea what ’toot suite’ meant, but he got the picture. He was being blamed for something he hadn’t done, after doing his duty, getting his nuts cracked, and having his privates flashed by these two wild women, who would get off scot free for their crimes. He saw how it was going to be...

"And General Chastain, we’ll discuss, in private, the non-negotiable requirement for you and your women to keep a respectable distance from my men’s packages," he said grumpily.

Ha! She wasn’t going to get off scot free after all... thought Niko. Serves her right!

"You think I wanted to have my face in his stinking package?"

"In private, General. What part of those two words is unclear to you?"

She lowered her brow crankily and squeezed roughly past Alton to start the long climb down the elm. She’d give him ’two words’! They started with ’F’ and ’Y’.

A pack of dingos waited patiently for her on the ground surrounding the tree. She counted seven adults, plus the little one lying by the bait.

She tried out a few simple commands accompanied by hand gestures.

"Sit." That one was hard to judge because they were all sitting anyway.

"Roll over," she made a circling gesture with her finger, and the dogs all performed a full body roll.

"Up. Back up," she called, and they stood.

The war hounds performed in perfect unison, like circus animals executing tricks.

Now the warriors all grinned at each other and high fived, their earlier disagreements forgotten with the successful acquisition of another incredible war asset.

Alton was already planning out the team’s battle training with their dragons and hounds.

"Can anyone tell them apart?" asked Delphi. She was similarly planning how to make maximum use of the tame tubiàn.

"Not easily," said Alton. "They’re very pure in their markings and colouring."

"We might have to brand them or give them collars or something to distinguish them. Especially in a battle scenario," said Feifei.

"Sounds like a good job for Quartermaster Winter," Delphi replied.

As she spoke, the little pup who had been laying by the carcass and had started the whole chain of events, trotted over and licked Delphi’s hand.

’Little’ was probably not quite the right description for him; his head was already level with Delphi’s, but he was comparatively small and cute alongside the adults, who towered over them.

"Hello little one," Delphi said with delight, giving him a pat on the nose, where he licked her some more and nuzzled her hand. "Oh, you are sweet, aren’t you?" she cooed.

The puppy lay down at her feet and put his head on her boots, staking his claim on her.

"I guess I just got my first puppy," Delphi smiled. "Say hi to everyone, Bogden."