My Scumbag System-Chapter 442: Property of the Bakeneko

She launched herself at me.

I barely had time to register the movement before she crashed into my chest with enough force to knock me backward onto the bed. Her legs wrapped around my waist. Her arms locked around my neck. Her tits pressed against me with the enthusiasm of a tackle that would’ve made Hikari proud.

Then she licked my face.

One long, wet stripe from jaw to temple.

"Missed you missed you missed you!" Her voice was pitched high and excited, like a kid on Christmas morning except she was very much not a kid and was very much still naked and wrapped around me like a particularly aggressive scarf. "Where were you? Why’d it take so long? Did you forget about me? You didn’t forget, right?"

I tried to speak. She licked my face again.

"You taste really good! Different than before but still really, really good! Did you get stronger? You definitely smell stronger!" She inhaled deeply against my neck, and I felt her shiver. "Mmm, and there’s other smells too—girl smells—but that’s totally fine! I can share! Sharing is super fun, right? As long as I’m first. I should be first. I’m gonna be first."

"What the actual—"

"Oh! Right! Introductions!" She yanked herself back just far enough to beam at me with manic glee, her pupils so dilated they’d swallowed most of the hazel-gold iris.

"I’m Maki! Your brand new familiar! We’re bonded now—like, soul-bonded, the permanent kind—so we’re stuck together forever and ever! Isn’t that just amazing?"

The System notification flickered into existence with a noticeable delay—about ten full seconds—as if even the cosmic video game running my life needed a moment to process what the fuck had just happened.

[FAMILIAR ACQUIRED: MAKI]

[RARITY: PLATINUM]

[SPECIES: BAKENEKO (MONSTER CAT)]

[ABILITIES: LIGHTNING WEAVER, NINE LIVES, TRANSFORMATION, ENHANCED AGILITY]

[WARNING: PERSONALITY MAY VARY]

That last line felt like the understatement of the fucking century.

Maki made a sound that was halfway between a hum and a chirp, then proceeded to rub her entire face against my chest like she was marking territory. The purring started a second later—a deep, rumbling vibration that traveled through her ribcage and into mine, rattling my bones.

It should not have felt as good as it did.

"You’re naked," I said flatly.

"Yup!" She didn’t even pause in her rubbing.

"In my room."

"Uh-huh!"

"At two in the afternoon."

"Mmhmm!" She finally pulled back, blinking up at me with an expression of such genuine innocence that it almost—almost—distracted from the fact that her tits were still pressed against my chest.

"Is that bad? It feels like a good time to me! Should I have waited? Or—oh! Should I have clothes? I really don’t like clothes. They’re super itchy and they get in the way and they’re boring. But if Master really, really wants me to wear them, I guess I could try—"

"Maki."

Her ears perked straight up. "Yes?"

"Get. Off. Me."

Her face fell so fast it was almost comical. "But I just got here! I’ve been waiting forever! Do you know how boring it is inside a gacha ball? It’s like being asleep but worse because you can kinda feel time passing but you can’t do anything about it and—"

"Off."

She pouted. Actually pouted, her lower lip pushing out in an expression of such theatrical disappointment that I almost felt bad.

Almost.

She unwrapped her legs and slid off me with obvious reluctance, then immediately planted herself on my lap facing me with her legs tucked under her. Still naked. Still grinning.

"Better?"

"Not really."

"Want me to put on clothes?"

"That would be—"

"Too bad!" She bounced once. "I don’t wear clothes for anyone. Not even my Master. Especially not my Master. We’re bonded now, which means you’re stuck with me, and I’m stuck with you, and isn’t that just the best?"

Nel’s laughter echoed through my skull.

Oh this is perfect. Apollo outdid himself. You wanted chaos? Meet Chaos with tits.

"Shut up."

"I didn’t say anything!" Maki’s ears flattened. "Are you mad? You sound mad. Did I do something wrong already? I can be good! I promise! I’m very good when I want to be!"

"Not you." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "The voice in my head."

"Oh!" She perked up immediately. "You have one of those too? Mine tells me to burn things. Or eat things. Sometimes both at the same time."

Of course she did.

"Maki."

"Yes Master?" She leaned forward, and her everything moved with the motion in ways that made concentrating extremely difficult.

"Can you wear clothes? Just for now?"

"Mmm." She pretended to think about it, tapping one finger against her lips. "No."

"No?"

"Nope! But I’ll make you a deal." Her grin widened. "You let me stay naked, and I won’t tell those girls downstairs that you were staring at my tits for like a full minute when I got here."

"I wasn’t—"

"You definitely were." She leaned back, arching her spine in a way that made her point extremely clear. "It’s okay! They’re great tits. I’d stare too."

Downstairs, something clattered in the kitchen. Voices drifted up through the floorboards.

I looked at Maki.

She looked at me.

"If you go downstairs like that," I said slowly, "Natalia will freeze you solid."

"The purple-haired one? With the scary eyes?" Maki’s grin somehow got wider. "I like her already. She smells cold."

"That’s not a compliment."

"Sure it is! Cold girls are fun. They act all proper and controlled, then you push the right buttons and—" She made an explosion gesture with her hands. "Boom. Ice everywhere. Very dramatic."

I stood. She stayed in my lap, which meant she came with me, her legs automatically wrapping around my waist again.

"You can’t be serious."

"Oh I’m very serious." She nuzzled against my neck, and I felt her smile. "I’m yours now. Permanently. You summoned me, which means we’re stuck together until one of us dies. And I’ve got nine lives, so good luck with that."

"Fantastic."

"I know right?" She pulled back and cupped my face with both hands, forcing me to look at her. "You’re fun. Way more fun than the last guy. He was all serious and boring and kept trying to make me wear robes. Robes! Can you imagine?" She shuddered. "So I ate him."

I blinked.

"You ate him."

"Yup! Well, I fried him first. Lightning, you know. Very satisfying. Then the System scooped me up and put me in the prize pool." She booped my nose. "And now I’m here! With you! Who seems way less likely to bore me to death, which is good, because I get cranky when I’m bored."

The System notification updated.

[WARNING: MAKI REQUIRES REGULAR STIMULATION (COMBAT, FOOD, OR PHYSICAL AFFECTION) TO PREVENT DESTABILIZATION]

[DESTABILIZED MAKI MAY RESULT IN: PROPERTY DAMAGE, UNAUTHORIZED VIOLENCE, EXCESSIVE PURRING, DIPLOMATIC INCIDENTS]