My Scumbag System-Chapter 441: The Shadow and the Shameless

I needed coffee. Or possibly a priest. Definitely something that could help me process the fact that I’d just convinced five women to form a permanent supernatural soul bond with me after a four-hour marathon that had left my everything questioning its life choices.

Also I had two Mythical-Tier Familiar Contracts burning a hole in my inventory.

I locked my door. Checked it twice. Then pulled up the System.

The blue interface materialized with its usual quiet hum, and Nel’s presence settled around the edges like she’d been waiting.

"Morning, protagonist. Sleep well?"

"I got maybe forty minutes."

I’m amazed you got that much. The viewing stats for last night broke records. Multiple pantheons tuned in. Ares started a betting pool about whether you’d survive. He lost three thousand drachma.

"Fantastic. Can we focus?"

The Gacha Store icon pulsed gold in the corner of my vision. Two Mythical-Tier Familiar Contracts sat in my inventory like loaded guns I hadn’t decided whether to use yet.

I pulled up Bartholomew’s entry first.

[BARTHOLOMEW - BRONZE FAMILIAR]

[STATUS: IMMORTAL SNAIL]

[ABILITIES: NONE]

[CONTRIBUTION: MORAL SUPPORT (?)]

I looked at the terrarium. Bartholomew munched his lettuce with the confidence of something that knew it couldn’t die and therefore had zero stakes in anything.

"No offense buddy, but you’re kinda useless."

He did not respond. His commitment to lettuce remained absolute.

I pulled up the first Familiar Contract.

The interface shifted. Apollo’s presence materialized as that infuriating chibi avatar, except this time he wore tiny general’s regalia and stood atop a glowing podium like he was about to announce the Olympics.

"Ready for your new pet?" His grin was insufferable. "This one actually does things."

"That bar’s on the floor."

"And yet!" He gestured broadly. The air in front of me rippled and distorted, shifting from blue to purple to something darker than shadow. "This one comes from a colleague. Sunless keeps to himself mostly. Very gloomy. But his craftsmen do excellent work."

The space tore open. Not like a Gate, but like fabric being cut. Darkness poured through the gap. It was cold. It writhed like smoke given purpose.

"Come forth," I said.

It felt stupid. Like I was cosplaying a Final Fantasy summoner in my own bedroom at two in the afternoon while five women cooked breakfast downstairs and my parents were scheduled to arrive in six hours.

Then five figures materialized from the shadow.

They knelt in a perfect semi-circle, heads bowed, armored hands resting on the floor. Each stood roughly six feet tall, humanoid in shape but wrong in the way nightmares are wrong. They wore pitch-black plate armor that seemed to drink light, every surface etched with patterns that hurt to look at directly. Blue flames burned in the visors where eyes should be.

The System notification appeared.

[FAMILIAR ACQUIRED: SHADOW KNIGHTS (SQUAD)]

[RARITY: RARE]

[QUANTITY: 5]

[ABILITIES: COMBAT MASTERY (C-RANK EQUIVALENT), SHADOW REGENERATION, LEGION’S GROWTH, ARMORY OF THE DARK]

I stared at them.

They stared back. Sort of. The blue flames tracked my movement.

"Heh. I feel like that one Aura Farmer right now."

Oh gods, Nel whispered. Please don’t start using anime catchphrases. The Audience will riot.

"No promises."

The knight in the center, slightly larger than the others, lifted its head. The flames in its visor brightened.

I pointed at it. "Alpha." 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

It inclined its head once. Acceptance.

The one to its left, built like a brick house with a tower shield strapped to its back. "Beta."

The one to the right with dual axes hanging from its belt. "Gamma."

Fourth from the left, slender and predatory with daggers visible at its thighs. "Epsilon."

Last one, with a segmented sword-whip coiled around its arm like a metal snake. "Zeta."

They remained perfectly still. Waiting.

I dismissed them with a wave. "That’s all for now."

They dissolved into shadow without sound, flowing back into the darkness they’d emerged from. The temperature in my room returned to normal. The oppressive weight lifted.

I looked at my own shadow on the floor. It seemed darker than before. Thicker.

"Alpha. Come forth."

The shadow split. Alpha rose from it like smoke condensing into steel, taking form in three seconds flat. He dropped to one knee the moment he solidified, his massive frame somehow managing to look graceful despite the plate armor.

"Can you hide in someone else’s shadow?" I asked.

Alpha nodded once.

"Whose?"

He gestured vaguely at the door. At everything beyond it. At basically anyone.

"Interesting." My mind ran through the implications. Five knights I could deploy at will, hide in the shadows of my teammates, use for reconnaissance or assassination or just straight overwhelming force. "Dismissed."

He melted back into darkness.

I owned an army now.

A small one. A weird one. But still.

The second Familiar Contract pulsed in my inventory, and Apollo’s avatar clapped his tiny hands together with way too much enthusiasm.

"Ready for number two?" His grin widened. "This one’s special."

"They’re all special."

"This one’s special special. Promise you’ll love it." His expression shifted to something that might have been genuine concern if gods were capable of that. "Or possibly hate it. Depends on your tolerance for chaos."

"Just show me already."

Apollo snapped his fingers.

The world exploded.

Not metaphorically. The air in my room compressed then decompressed in a shockwave that rattled the windows and knocked Bartholomew’s terrarium sideways. Golden light flooded everything, bright enough that I had to close my eyes against it. Heat washed over me, not painful but intense, like standing too close to a bonfire.

Then the light vanished.

Smoke remained. Not shadow-smoke like the knights, but actual gray smoke that smelled faintly of sulfur and something else. Something organic.

A figure stood in the center of the dissipating cloud.

Female. Definitely female. The kind of female that made my brain temporarily forget how to process visual information.

She was naked.

Completely, utterly, shamelessly naked.

Her skin was pale, the kind of porcelain white that suggested she’d never seen sunlight willingly. Long black hair fell past her shoulders in silk waves, framing a face that was equal parts beautiful and dangerous. Sharp features. High cheekbones. A mouth curved into a grin that promised trouble.

Cat ears twitched atop her head.

Two tails swished behind her.

And her body—

My brain shut down for approximately three seconds.

She had the kind of figure that would’ve gotten her arrested in some countries just for existing. Curves that defied physics. Hips that flared dramatically from a waist I could probably wrap my hands around. Breasts that were frankly obscene in their proportions, sitting high and full despite the complete lack of support.

Her eyes opened.

Hazel. Gold-flecked. Vertically slit like a cat’s.

"MASTER!"