I Am An Illegitimate Child With A Legitimate Reason For Revenge-Chapter 216: You’re not God to decide if they live on...

After they left, Alexa felt she had forgotten something. She forgot to tell Raymond he looked handsome. Well, it wasn’t important. He probably heard things like that on a daily basis.

Jane turned to Alexa with a cheeky smile.

"So, what was that about?" She asked and Alexa rolled her eyes. She was still there. She needed to change the topic because it would never end once she started explaining.

"By the way, is the dressing theme gold and caramel?" She asked and Jane gasped.

"How did you figure that out?" She asked and Alexa raised her eyebrows at her. Did she take her as a fool? "I thought you wouldn’t notice."

"I’m not that dense." She said and shook her head.

"Well, the theme is indeed gold and caramel. Gold for the men and caramel for the ladies. I don’t know who came up with that combination and I honestly would never advise it but the result is spontaneous. I love it." She squealed in excitement.

The edges of her dress had curly fringes. Her purse, eating, necklace and shoes were all purse gold.

She knew the only way to get those was with Raymond’s help and though she didn’t know if she asked for it, she hoped Jane did not do anything stupid because those things, each, cost more than a house.

"That reminds me. I need to take a picture and send it to my fiance. He’s going to be so jealous." She grinned and started taking selfies.

Alexa was silent. How envious she was. If only she wasn’t tied to this bed, she might’ve joined in the fun as well.

It had been just ten days since the surgery so it wasn’t advisable to move too freely.

"Aren’t your feets killing you?" Alexa asked as she admired the length of the heels.

"Are you kidding me? These are just four inches." Jane said, flaunting her perfect cat walk with the heels. "You should see me in six inch heels." 𝘧𝘳𝘦ℯ𝓌𝘦𝒷𝘯𝑜𝑣𝘦𝓁.𝒸𝘰𝓂

"Wow, now that is a side of you I cannot get used to."

"Don’t try to get used to this though. I think I’ll be like this for much longer. After this week, I’m back to my boring life."

"But I thought you loved being a surgeon." Alexa said and Jane suddenly fell silent. She sat down with her head down.

"You know, performing those surgeries, saving lives, it’s not all there is to it. I try my very best to make sure the patient survives but it’s not always the case. They die, I watch their family weep and I look at my hands... all I see is blood."

She fell silent again.

"I want to get away from it but I feel I have accumulated too much sun to just run. It will drag me back so I decide to continue to atone for my sins."

Alexa was silent. She never knew... she never knew she was feeling that way. She was always so vibrant and vigorous that she never imagined she was feeling such pressure from her job.

"It’s not your fault." She said in an act of consolation. "Don’t you know, if a person is destined to die, not even the best surgeon won’t be able to save them. Same goes for the fact that a person who isn’t destined to die yet will not die no matter how much the people of the world try to kill them."

She gave a comforting smile at her friend and added,

"You’re not God to decide if they live on and you’re not capable of bringing back her dead so don’t beat yourself too much for it." Her words touched her heart and she looked at her hands.

It was like those were the simple words she needed to hear from someone. She had never told anyone about how she felt about her job so everyone assumed she was okay with her cheerful personality and bright smile.

She thought that if she came out of her shell, she would hear the words she feared the most. They may say it was indeed her fault and her smile, the one she put up to hide her despair, would finally shatter.

So hearing this... these words of consolation, she felt the blood on her hand washing away.

"Thank you." She said and tried not to cry. It was hard enough getting a great stylist. She didn’t want to ruin her makeup.

"Hm, are these tears I see in your eyes?" Alexa teased and Jane sniffed.

"What? No way. You got it wrong." She strongly denied. "Why would I cry? Do you know how much it costs to do this makeup? No ordinary stylist can pull this off so why would I cry and ruin this masterpiece?"

Once again, she was a fire breathing dragon, spewing everything that came to mind.

Alexa smiled seeing her return to her former self and then she looked at her own hands.

When she looked at her hands, what did she see? It wasn’t blood, nor was it dirt. Rather, it was a void. A thick black void.

She didn’t know if it was because she was very oblivious of her past but her hands were speaking of something she could not see or understand.

She clenched her fists. She wanted to remember.

"Oh, I think they’re back." Jane said, looking through the window.

Alexa didn’t even know when she went to stand there and felt she had succeeded in cheering her up.

"You know," Jane suddenly began.

"Hm?"

"If it actually turns out that Raymond Stein is interested in you, not just for Rachael but for ’you’." she turned her gaze away from the window. "Will you accept it?"

Alexa was silent. Then, she shook her head and said, "I don’t know what you’re asking, Jane."

"You know, if he suddenly asks you to marry him not because he wants to be Rachael’s official father but because he likes ’you’, will you marry him?"