Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 38: Usurper

18 September, 1358. Moraigth Castle, Islia

William stood alone at the edge of a small lake, idly skimming stones. In an hour he was due to meet with the new ambassador of Havietten and formally receive his credentials on behalf of King Edward. Watching the stones create ripples as they skimmed across the water surface, he sighed. He couldn’t think of much to look forward to, even the things that had once held his attention. He wasn’t melancholic by nature but lately, everything around him seemed tinged in grey.

There was a slight rustling sound behind him and he turned to see Princess Camilla at the end of the narrow tree lined path that lead to the lake. She looked just as startled to see him.

She gave him a quick bow and said, "Apologies for disturbing you, Your Highness. I’m just leaving." She turned quickly to head back the way she’d arrived.

"Why such a rush to go? Do I scare you?"

She stopped to glance back at him over her shoulder. "No. But we both know you don’t appreciate my being here. And you look like someone who wants to be left alone."

The way she looked at him was like she expected him to start lobbing insults at her at any moment.

William sighed again, unable to really blame her for thinking that way.

"Actually, I could do with some company. It’ll stop me from falling into a rabbit hole with my own thoughts. Stay a while."

Hesitating, Camilla slowly turned to face him and join him at the water’s edge. They stood in silence for a while as the last of the stones in William’s hands skidded across the lake surface.

"I hear your campaign in the south was a success." she finally broke the silence. He could hear the hesitation in her voice. Is that what he had done? Made it so that it was hard for her to even strike up a polite conversation with him?

"If you call ensuring that lords who hoarded grain for their own profit were properly punished, then yes. If the goal was to prevent peasants going hungry this coming winter, then I wouldn’t say we were successful." He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. What had he actually achieved during those weeks?

He turned his head to look at her, silently admiring her exquisite profile. Then he added, "I suppose l’ve yet to congratulate you on your change in circumstances, Princess."

Camilla faced him, a slight frown on her face. "There’s nothing to congratulate me for. Nothing has really changed for me. I’m still the same person, still alone and trapped inside the same court."

"I don’t agree at all. You could be a queen one day."

"I should hope not. And if I am, it’s not something I’ve earned or want. Just an unfortunate accident of birth."

William raised his brows. What the hell was she saying? People since the dawn of time had fought and died and killed for a crown. And yet this girl was saying she didn’t want it? "Surely you don’t mean that."

"I do mean it." The look in her eyes was steely. "I don’t want to spend my life trying to control a bunch of unruly lords who only think about either destroying each other or destroying their monarch. I don’t want to wake up every morning wondering if this is the day an assassin takes my life or a rebel storms my home. I don’t know why my father and brothers wanted that life, but they did. I hope for different things."

"What do you want then, if it’s not glory and power?" William rubbed the back of his nape, trying to make sense of her words. Was it because she was a girl and females were not trained to rule?

"Peace." Camilla said simply, looking out over the lake. "My mother was the same. She always said she would’ve been happiest if my father had been born a quiet country lord and not the brother of a king. She loved him very much but hated his ambition. She always said it would be our family’s downfall. Now look at where we’ve all ended up." Her smile was sad.

"But if you take the throne you will be able to avenge your family’s deaths. And if you’re a strong ruler, you could help unite your country." William pointed out.

Camilla laughed and the musical sound fascinated him, despite her sober tone. "I think it would take more than one person to unite Moraigth, don’t you? I doubt the lords actually want peace because all they know how to do is fight and cheat each other. And we both know I wouldn’t be the one to rule."

"What are you talking about?"

"Queens don’t rule. A queen’s husband does. I’d have to make a political marriage and then accept that my husband will take all of my power away. The irony of wearing a crown but still having to pledge my absolute obedience to a man."

"But if you choose a good husband, it might still be alright." William said lamely, even though he didn’t believe his own words. Truthfully, no man would be able to resist the lust for power if their wife was a queen regnant. The temptation to take over would just be impossible. Camilla would know it too.

"Any man who wants to marry me because of my crown is not going to be a good or benevolent husband, is he?" she countered. "A man could promise me the world and the result would be the same. He’d usurp my power and relegate me to the role of serving him and filling a nursery. It’s just how it is. And even if he were cruel or violent, there’s nothing I could do."

Her words triggered an old memory of William’s, something he had long forgotten. Camilla had once nearly become the wife of a cruel and violent man like the one she had just spoken of. She just had no idea how close to that fate she had been.

William furrowed his brow as long dormant memories flooded his mind.