(BL) Hunting The Field Guide-Chapter 454: A room full of memories

Kellen felt like a madman with how much he was typing, how quickly all of his thoughts were flowing from his fingers, and how easily making an answer sheet for the new Field Guide teachers. It shouldn’t come this easily to him, but it was.

Maybe he had always wanted to make a list like this? Maybe this was just a really good distraction from everything else going on in his life? He didn’t know, but by the time that he would normally be going to his second class rolled around, he’d written a few pages of questions and answers.

He’d followed along the units, working away and through the class time that he would normally have. No one came to get him, or bother him. Not even the scientists in the main room. Kellen was focused.

He didn’t know how long he’d be in the gate, if he went into the gate. He wanted to make sure that they would have everything that they would need. He made sure to include his teacher’s school at the end of the question and answer sheet. Just in case they had anymore questions.

Because who knew where Brent was? Missing? Stolen? In the gate? In the belly of a beast?

Kellen honestly didn’t know which one was real, and he didn’t want to find out. Not if it was a bad one. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he found out before the gate issue was solved. He thought he’d be stronger than that, but he wasn’t. Not with so many people he cared about in danger.

Kellen checked the clock at some point and found that it was well past dinner time. A sinking feeling filled his gut as he checked his phone. Nothing from Casper, or Rhys. Not even his parents.

He didn’t like that. He knew he needed to eat, especially if things were going to take this turn. He would need every last ounce of guiding power in his body that he could maintain. He grumbled, deciding he would order food in from the cafeteria to his rooms so that he could finish writing this and then go up and eat after that.

He took a few minutes to place the order, told them what time would work for him and let them know to knock or let themselves in if need be.

Then, Kellen set to work finishing the answer sheet. He even threw in some questions that they hadn’t asked, but he had asked and the instructors hadn’t been able to answer for him when he’d been a young Field Guide in training.

Then, with a heavy sigh, he sent it off to Casper and closed his laptop.

He took a moment to look around his office. The office that Gunther had made sure he got. The office that Brent had taken over. The bare shelves held more things of Brent than they did of Kellen. Kellen had only brought a few books down from his collection, ordered a few more in, while Brent, like his sister, brought little personal touches.

A few things from his times in gates, one of his prosthetics that truly didn’t work anymore. Some torn fabric that held a story between him and Kellen. Kellen felt his face twist, his breathing growing short and shallow as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he might never see Brent again.

He couldn’t accept it.

It was one thing to see his sister getting sucked into the gate, it was another thing entirely to not have that kind of closure for Brent. He couldn’t even begin to understand, to wrap his head around what had happened to him. Especially since he had been with another Esper and that Esper was totally fine. He assumed they were totally fine. No one had told him otherwise.

Kellen jerked his gaze away from all of the things that reminded Kellen of Brent and grabbed his phone and keys, shoving them into his pockets and turned off the light, yanking the door open and closing it. The rest of the department was dark as well, since everyone else had gone home at this point.

Kellen made his way towards the bucket, but even that reminded him of Brent. He took a few shaky breaths, grabbing a few snacks and shoving them into his pockets. It didn’t matter. Things were going to remind him of Brent no matter what. He needed to get his shit together.

It wasn’t like his apartment was going to be any better. It would have more things from Gwen and Brent there. He just...needed to make a battle plan. One that either he, or someone else was going to find. It would...make things easier. Make him feel like he was doing something to help. ƒrēenovelkiss.com

Kellen’s head was full of these kinds of thoughts as he headed up to his apartment. When he passed the A Class gym it was mostly empty. Something that rarely happened, but with all the going ons in the Guild, it made sense.

Kellen was pretty sure he was going to arrive just after the food had been dropped off. He also didn’t know if Rhys had also eaten, so he had made sure that there was some food that Rhys could eat.

If Rhys was even home.

Kellen frowned, thinking about the ’conversation’ they had had earlier today. It had been two steps away from an argument. Kellen might have not argued with him before, but he could feel it. The tension between them.

Kellen didn’t know what to do. Rhys knew it best. This was who Kellen was. Who he would always be. Being a Field Guide...was what helped him find himself after being so confused about his life’s purpose when he had awakened as he had. He honestly...like everyone else thought he was going to be an Esper.

He hadn’t become one, and add that to finding out he wasn’t the same Class as the rest of his family? It had taken a lot to figure out who he was, what he was, and what could help him. He cared about Rhys. Loved him, but he couldn’t see himself changing from who he was.

Being a Field Guide was...entrenched into who Kellen was. While he had been able to shape shift slightly so that he could fit into Guiding Center B, even they had known he wasn’t like the others. They had viewed it as a benefit, and so had the Guild.

Until this happened, and now everything was up in the air.

Kellen swallowed.

He was now in front of his door, and he didn’t know if Rhys was there. Inside of...their apartment. Kellen just needed to come to terms with it. Rhys had moved into his apartment, and it was theirs now. He’d been sneaky. He’d always been sneaky.

He’d been carving out parts of Kellen’s heart, his life, without Kellen even noticing it. He didn’t hate it, he actually loved that Rhys had become such a large part of his life. He couldn’t imagine living like this with anyone else. His heart ached thinking about how much this would fuck up Rhys.

But there was also this pulsing knowledge in him, this belief in his abilities and trust in himself that gave him the foolish idea that he would come out of this relatively unscathed. He didn’t know where he got this idea, but he had it. It was like a quiet whisper in his ear. Not sweet, not seductive, just a deep, ingrained knowledge.

Kellen also had a feeling that this would be the last time. The last time he would have such surety. Like as Taylor had said, his lucky rabbit’s foot would run out after this gate.

That was okay. He was fine with that, but he just didn’t know how to convey this to the people that he loved. The people who cared about him without thinking he was fucking insane.

Kellen placed his hand on the knob of the door, squeezing it, and slid it open.

It was dark inside, the food filling up the counters and at first Kellen thought he was alone in the house. He slid off his shoes, letting the door close behind him, beginning to slide off his jacket when the hair on the back of his neck stood up and Kellen jerked his head towards the living room.

It was dark, no lights on and the only light illuminating the room came from the city below. How Kellen hadn’t realised he was there, Kellen had no idea. But there he was. Rhys.

He was a dark figure blotting out the city below, his figure alone and quiet against the large windows. Kellen gulped, a sense of unease filling him. It also mixed with worry. Why hadn’t he said anything? Why was he standing in the dark? Had something even more awful happened while Kellen had been working? While Rhys had been working?

Kellen slid his jacket off, hanging it up and sliding his feet into his slippers. He noticed that the ones he’d gotten Rhys weren’t there so thankfully he’d put them on. He was out of it, but not enough to forget to put his slippers on.

Kellen glanced at the kitchen, full of food, and turned his attention to his partner. His boyfriend. His Esper.

Kellen began to move towards him, not bothering to turn on the lights since he could see well enough, and he knew Rhys could too.

"Why didn’t you say anything when I came in? Are you alright? Why are all the lights off, Rhys?" Kellen asked softly, like he was gentling a beast. He honestly felt like he was. Rhys felt...big right now. Giant. Kellen couldn’t feel energy, but he could tell that Rhys was exerting a lot of it.

He stopped a few paces away from him, close enough that if he reached out he could grab him, but far enough away that he could scan the man, see if there were any obvious issues. Rhys’ face was a mask, his yellow eyes glowing in the darkness.

He hadn’t said anything yet, remaining almost like a statue. Kellen would have worried he wasn’t breathing if he couldn’t hear it. His exhales and inhales were a little ragged, a little rough. He didn’t sound well.

"Rhys?" Kellen asked again, and still got nothing. Worry took over the unease and he reached out to grab Rhys, but Rhys’ hand shot out. It wrapped around Kellen’s wrist, stopping him from touching him. Kellen flinched.

He stared at the hand holding his wrist, and wondered why that simple action hurt so much. Was it the fact that Rhys had prevented him from touching him? Was that the reason for the ache in his chest? Or was there something more to this?

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