(BL) Hunting The Field Guide-Chapter 453: A safety charm

It was only a short while later that another knock came at the door. Charlie opened it, since he was hanging out with the Espers in the kitchen.

It was Rene.

She looked a little frazzled, a little frantic. When she saw the state of Kellen and his Mom, her expression softened before she met Kellen’s gaze. She moved towards them, hugging them both together but Kellen could see the slight orange tint to her gaze.

"Do you...know where Pam is?" She asked carefully, quietly and Kellen felt a sinking feeling fill his gut. Had Pamela not told her? Uh oh.

"She...left for the front lines yesterday to help drop off equipment, Guides, and to make sure that everyone was calm while we’re dealing with this situation. Did she not tell you?" Kellen asked and watched as Rene’s face went through several changes.

She looked ill, angry, pissed, and then...guilty? Kellen had no idea why she looked like that, but it was also not his concern right now. He already had a lot on his plate. Someone else’s romance drama couldn’t be allowed. He had his own to deal with.

"I...I see. Okay. I guess...I deserved that." She muttered. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, before she sat down on Kellen’s Mom’s other side. She took her hand in her own, giving it a squeeze. "Forget my petty shit. How are you holding up?" Rene asked, her voice full of worry.

Kellen’s Mom laughed.

"I’m about to lose both of my children to a fucking gate while they are both in their 20’s. I’m doing great." Rene’s eyes widened as she looked at Kellen and Kellen at least had the decency to flush.

"I’m not going to die." Kellen told her. "And someone else could be going into the gate." Kellen told her. Even if his desire to go into the gate was like a heartbeat in his chest, a deep, unending ache that he didn’t think would be fixed until he actually went into the gate.

He was going to compromise though. He was willing to offer this up to someone else.

His Mom’s harsh laugh brought Kellen back to reality.

"Kellen, you and I both know that that isn’t going to happen. You’re going to go into the gate, whether someone else goes into the gate first or not." She slid her gaze to Kellen, her eyes purple, and Kellen felt like his Mom was staring straight through his chest and into his soul.

Rene looked...awkward. Shocked. Kellen felt a twinge in his chest as he realised that maybe...he should have waited to call Rene here until after he had left.

"I think it’s a little unfair for you to be signing my death certificate in your mind so soon." Kellen said softly, quietly. "I know that this is...this is unprecedented. For everyone. But I don’t think saying that we’re both going to die when Gwen hasn’t even been found yet, or anyone for that matter, is cruel. This isn’t easy for me either." Kellen found it hard to swallow and his Mom, an Esper who forgot sometimes how sensitive her Guide son was, flinched.

She turned to Kellen, reaching out her hand and cradling Kellen’s cheek in her hand, the purple in her gaze softening slightly.

"I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s not right of me to put this weight on you when you’re already dealing with a lot." She hesitated. "How...How many were Guides, Kellen?" She asked and Kellen shut his eyes. He took a shaky breath in, turning away from his Mom’s touch in his face. He opened his eyes when he was facing the window, staring out at the city below.

"Half of them." Kellen said. "All of them are from the Saturn Guild." Kellen opened and closed his mouth, before he finally said it out loud. "Brent’s missing." It felt like a numbness spread through his body as he said it, and the horrified gasp from his Mom ripped through him.

"Sweetheart, why didn’t you start with that?!" She asked, horror filling her voice. "Is he-?"

"No one knows." Kellen said. "He wasn’t supposed to be near the gate, and was instead guiding an Esper near the front gates, but the front lines were also hit with a monster rush courtesy of the A.E.G. So, who knows?" Kellen shrugged. He was trying to brush it off. What else could he do?

"Have...the families been notified yet?" She asked and Kellen swallowed.

"I...I don’t know. I should check in with that. I...I think I need to go. I have work to do. Rene is here now, and Dad seems to be sound asleep. I’ll come visit again." Kellen knew he sounded like he was running away, because he was.

Saying it out loud had more of an impact on him then he thought. Being asked about it directly had also had a great impact on him. He could feel his legs trembling, and he had a feeling he didn’t look well from the way that Rene and his Mom were looking at him.

"Do you need help going where you plan to? Take one of the Espers Rhys had put on me to monitor me." His Mom said, waving a hand dismissively as Kellen stood at his full height. He laughed. She thought it was Rhys? He didn’t know her well enough. It wasn’t him.

"I put them on you." Kellen told her, and watched as shocked crossed her face, before she frowned.

"How could you?" She asked, betrayal in her voice, in the way that her eyes narrowed and Kellen felt the laughter being pulled out of him.

"What else was I supposed to do? You looked like you were going to surge, or go on a murder spree. We don’t need that right now." Kellen was right. He knew he was right, but that didn’t mean the look his Mom was giving him hurt any less.

"Did you really think I would do something like that?" She asked, her expression falling from betrayal into straight confusion and pain. Kellen winced.

"I...I wanted to do it, so I assumed you were the same." Kellen said. The silence that hung between them was thick, long, until Kellen heard a shift in the master bedroom. His Mom heard it too, and between one heartbeat and the next, she was up and gently opening the door, stepping into the room and speaking to her husband.

Then it was just Rene, and Kellen. Rene looked...tired. She had every right to be. Kellen had no idea what the Nemesis Guild was going through, but it couldn’t be better than what the Saturn Guild was going through. Her normally well put together uniform was crooked, and it looked like she had been in it for several days. She didn’t smell like it, but Kellen could tell that she probably hadn’t gone home.

Her eyes had bags, and while her makeup was impeccable, Kellen felt that was more of a habit than anything else. Her hair was a bit messy too.

"You should...use their spare room to catch up on some sleep. Or go to Pamela’s place." Kellen told her and Rene flinched. She looked a little awkward, before she sighed.

"She probably would hate to find out that I was there. I also shouldn’t impose right now. We’re all going through it, and I should...be with my Guild. Obviously, I’m going to stay until your Mom kicks me out. She’s stubborn, and didn’t ask me for help even though we both live in the same town. Thank you for calling me." She said quietly and Kellen just nodded.

She needed a friend, and Rene was one of the few that Kellen knew was just his Mom’s. His parents...shared a lot of their friends, and most of them had left the city and spread their wings elsewhere.

Kellen should have read that as a sign. That the city didn’t really care about its Espers and Guides. Most of the aunts and uncles that he knew were so kind and lovely, even to him. Especially to him that he should have known. Uncle Tom was dead when he got his hands on him.

"I’m sorry to hear that. Are things not going well?" Kellen asked and Rene swallowed. She sighed, turning her head to look out the window. It was a great way to gather one’s thoughts.

"I fucked up." She said quietly. "I pushed her away. God, I can still see the hurt look on her face. I think I’m the reason she raced to the front lines. She said something about ’proving that she didn’t need me’ and..." She trailed off, before she sighed and shook her head. "I had no idea having a younger lover would come with so many problems." She muttered and Kellen chuckled.

"I don’t think that Rhys and I have the same age gap that you and Pamela have, but I’m sure you could reach out to him and chat about it. He’s a good listener, and that was half of the reason we didn’t start dating sooner." Kellen told her. Rene’s eyes widened slightly, before she chuckled.

"You’re all just kids in my eyes." She said with a smile and Kellen stared at her for a long moment before he just shrugged.

"Rhys is probably a lot older than any of us thinks because of his powers. That doesn’t make him more mature, but it does mean he’s seen a lot of things. You should consider it. I wasn’t joking when I said I had a lot of things that I needed to get done. You can message me if you need anything." Kellen nodded to Rene and her sad but contemplative expression before turning towards the kitchen.

Charlie stepped out, looking nervous as he handed Kellen back his phone. He seemed...hesitant. The Espers with him seemed to be growing protective of him, just by being near him. It was a concern, but also Kellen didn’t give a fuck right now. That behaviour could be corrected later. He didn’t have the time to do so, and it wasn’t going to hurt him right now.

They were good Espers, not bad ones. Kellen did give them a sharp look, just to scare them a little, and it seemed to work.

"Are you leaving now?" Charlie asked, jittery. Kellen stared at him, meeting Charlie’s gaze and nodding as he tucked his phone back into his pocket.

"Yeah. I have work I need to do." He said and waited. Charlie looked like he had something he wanted to say, but he was struggling to say it. Kellen waited. He was in a rush, but not that much of a rush.

"Is...Is Gwen in a lot of danger?" He asked, and Kellen felt his chest ache. Kellen only really had bits and pieces of what Charlie’s childhood had been like, but that question told him a lot. Kellen would guess that he knew next to nothing about gates, the front lines, or anything like that. He’d probably learned about it when he was sent to Guiding Center C, and that was probably only in passing.

"She...She’s in a lot of danger, Charlie." Kellen confirmed and watched as Charlie looked shattered.

"O-Oh. I thought so, but...no one seemed safe enough to ask." Charlie whispered and Kellen sighed before he reached out, pulling the younger man in for a hug.

"We’ll get her, Charlie. She won’t be in danger for too much longer." Kellen told him and Charlie wrapped his arms around him.

"Are you going to be in danger too?" He asked and Kellen froze.

"I...I don’t know yet." Kellen told him quietly and Charlie squeezed him.

"Can I make you a charm? For safety? I used to make them for my friends at my old home." Charlie whispered and Kellen felt overwhelmed. He just nodded, giving Charlie a squeeze. Charlie held onto him for a little bit longer, before he stepped away, wiping at his eyes. "You have a lot of work to do. I don’t want to take up more of your time. Have...a good rest of your day, Kellen. I’ll get it to you by tomorrow." Charlie said with a soft, sad smile. Kellen nodded.

Kellen glanced back at the apartment, looking at Rene sitting on the couch, Charlie by the door, the two Espers standing guard and the closed door that hid his damaged parents. He sighed, before opening the door and heading out into the hallway.

He headed for his office.

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