Use Me Like A Drug (omegaverse bl)-Chapter 34: Can you see me?

CW: referenced past sexual abuse

Yujun’s POV

"Stupid Alpha" I mutter into the sheets while pressing my face into it to calm the burning in my cheeks and the loud beating of my heart.

I never thought a day would come that I would be flustered over anyone, not even over my enemy. 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂

At the sound of the shower running, I turn to the side to smile at the beige wall of the room.

"Put yourself together, Choi Yujun" I say to myself, I am swooning and this is a new feeling for me, a feeling I have only heard Yunah speak of from watching her favorite dramas.

The buzzing of my phone snaps me back to reality.

I stretch my hand to pick up the phone from the nightstand and to check the caller ID.

Father

The single word on my phone screen becomes the wake up call I need to come out of whatever fantasy I am building up in my head with Jaehyun.

The reminder of who I am and who he is.

With shaky hands, I pick up the phone and accept the call, getting on my knees subconsciously and bracing myself for whatever he might throw my way.

"Your heat is in two weeks" father’s gruff voice says, without greetings and pleasantries, there is never anything pleasant with father, only war, pain and anger.

"Yes sir, I am aware" I say into the phone, trying to sound like the alpha I am supposed to be while talking about the heat I am supposed to experience as the omega I am.

"Good, get ready for it" father says, and I feel sweat break out of my skin as flashes of my heat fills my mind.

"Since you went whoring around last time, I have decided to make sure you never make such a move again" father says and coughs into the phone.

"Sir?" I ask in fear, not really ready to hear what he has to say.

"My new business partner’s son will be the one to help you after signing the NDA" father says and my breath ceases for a moment.

I am already used to it by now but for some reason, no, not for some reason, but because of Jaehyun and his treatment that differs from the others I’m surrounded by, my perception of how my heat should pass has changed.

"Father, I can handle it on my own" I say in a small voice, daring for the first time to share my opinion and express my desire outside of my father’s.

"Don’t make me lose my temper" Father shouts and my body automatically straighten, "you piece of shit of a son!. Do you know how embarrassing it is to do business with a curse as a son?" He yells and I bow my head.

This is a rude awakening to my reality. What was I thinking hoping that Hwang Jaehyun can really heal everything about me?

"I’m sorry" I say and he growls, "come home right now, if I don’t see you in three hours, I will kill you by my own hands" he says and hangs up.

I keep the phone to my ear even as I am shaking.

No. No. No.

I refuse to experience that again, I refuse to let myself be torn into shreds. My heat with Jaehyun remains the only one where I was treated like a human.

Father brings his men to take and use me every heat, for them to experience the exotic and mythicized male omega.

"Jun, what’s wrong?" Jaehyun’s voice calls and I look up, he looks so worried and so soft coming out of the shower in the fresher clothes.

My heart clenches for him but then again, he is just an Alpha and I am...a curse.

"It’s coming again...my heat" I say coldly.

"Okay, I can help you find a place to spend it" he says and runs his fingers through his hair, "last time I made sure I kept my scent heavy to ward away hungry alphas, if you want I can stay nearby" he continues and I shake my head.

"It wasn’t supposed to be that way" I say and he frowns in confusion as if he is trying his best to understand me and help me, "how then? I’m sorry I’m not really familiar with omegas..."

"Since my first heat Jaehyun, I have been getting helped" I say bluntly.

"Helped? With meals and clean up?" he asks cluesslessly and I keep my head up, ready to let him know everything without flinching.

"No, with knots that I don’t want" I say and the alpha’s eyes goes red. "They...They have been forcing you?" He asks in a broken voice.

"It doesn’t matter" I say and he squeezes his eyes shut, "Jaehyun" I call his name, needing him to be with me.

"Why? How can they be this brutal? What do they want? They already hit you and hurt you and they still..." his voice cracks with the heavy words.

"Don’t say it anymore" I say as I smell his pheromones, the scent is full of deep pain.

"Don’t say it anymore, just hold me" I stretch out my arms for him and he moves over to me.

Jaehyun climbs into the bed and hugs me tightly, pressing my face into his neck, scenting me for comfort. I know I need to leave in the next hour, I know I need to make us stop whatever this is, I know that whatever this is is only fantasy. Our real world will always be there to wake us up.

"Jaehyun, we better stop whatever it is we are doing before it consumes us both" I say softly into his shoulder.

"I’m not stopping, and I won’t let go" he says.

"I don’t know how to be soft, I don’t know how to be the omega you need...I don’t know how to..." I say but he doesn’t respond.

"Can you see me?" I ask him, needing to know if I am real, and he nods, "Yujun-ah, I see you, we’ll just be fine" he says.

We hear a knock and Jaehyun groans. "Who is there?" He calls.

"Taeho" the voice calls from outside and I look at Jaehyun, anticipating his response.

"Yes Taeho?" He asks and the person huffs, "one of your shipments was attacked today" he says, "and?" Jaehyun calls back.

"it was a Choi".

’Of course it was’ I think to myself.