To Byul (Omegaverse)-Chapter 48: I told you you’d love the view

Chin-hwa did not want to be controlled by his thoughts or his emotions but what could he do when they were far more superior than his mind?

It was as if his brain bowed down to his heart on matters that had to do with Kang-woo.

He felt so useless because of it.

"So," Yun-tae spoke up, trying to break the ice that had suddenly solidified between them.

A moment ago, they were laughing and speaking normally, but all of a sudden, they were no longer talking.

Was it because of what Kang-woo said? It wasn't like he hid the fact that he was majoring in interior designing. He just... Never said it.

Or was there something about that that was even more depressing?

'This is hard.' Yun-tae thought. 'Because I don't know exactly what their problem is, I can't even help clear the air.' he glanced at Chin-hwa. 'And I can't ask about it either. I feel so useless right now. What do I do?'

But he couldn't even think deeply about it since the food melted with sweetness in his mouth. It wasn't even sweet or cake, so why was it so good?

What special ingredients did they use in making such a fine delicacy?

'I think I'll worry about the frozen air later.' Yun-tae thought with his hand on his cheek as he chewed in delight. 'This is so good. I can't let it go to waste.'

They finished their food shortly after that and Yun-tae felt so fulfilled. He patted his stomach and his gaze traveled to the window.

As soon as it did, his eyes widened.

Everywhere had gone dark and the lights of multiple buildings shone in the city. It was beautiful.

"Wow," his eyes sparkled. "It's so beautiful."

"I told you you'd love the view." Chin-hwa said, watching Yun-tae marvel at the sight. "But it's not the best from here. When we're done eating, let's go to the rooftop. The view from up there is the best."

As soon as he said that, Kang-woo flinched. The... Rooftop?

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He looked up at Chin-hwa who was smiling at Yun-tae. Why did he want to take Yun-tae to the rooftop? Wasn't that supposed to be their...?

"The rooftop?" Yun-tae asked as he turned to Chin-hwa. "I'd like to go." He said. "We're done eating, aren't we?"

"Yeah, the course meal. Let's wait for the dessert." Chin-hwa added and Yun-tae's eyes sparkled once more.

His stomach was full but he was certain there would be room for dessert. He looked towards Kang-woo who held his gaze down but kept smiling.

His eyebrows furrowed. He felt sad all of a sudden. Why did Kang-woo have that expression on his face every time something happened with Chin-hwa?

He got it that he did not like hurting Chin-Hwa, and he had a lot of guilt in his heart, but... It wasn't fair.

He should just apologize if he knew he did something wrong. Wouldn't that solve everything?

Yes, apologizing made things better but some apologies only made things worse.

If Kang-woo were to suddenly say sorry to Chin-hwa, asking him to forgive him for leaving so harshly, what next?

It wasn't like Chin-hwa would truly forgive him and let bygones be bygones. If it was that easy then he wouldn't have had any regrets when leaving because he knew Chin-hwa would still forgive him.

When he left, he knew very well that the next time he came back, he would not meet the same Chin-hwa he used to know. When he left, he carried the image of Chin-hwa's shattered appearance and pasted it in his heart so he would not forget the hurt he caused him.

But he wanted to keep smiling in front of Chin-hwa even though that shattered appearance replayed in his head over and over again.

He wanted to keep smiling because Chin-hwa always loved his smile. So, maybe if he smiled more, Chin-hwa would feel better.

But he felt it would be better if Chin-Hwa hit him instead of keeping the pain to himself and asking to pretend that none of it happened.

It only broke him more, knowing Chin-hwa wanted to keep living with that pain and not let it out.

'Hit me. Just hit me. Beat me to crap and blame me for all your hurt. Just do that, so you can feel better.' That thought played in his head but his heart told him something else.

That was a selfish request.

If Chin-hwa did end up doing all that, the only one who would feel relieved was him. It wouldn't change anything for Chin-hwa. The years apart would not vanish and the pain would not disappear either.

The only one who would feel better was him, Kang-woo.

And knowing that, he felt even more guilty for having such thoughts. He would let Chin-hwa do whatever he wanted and handle this however he wanted to.

All he was capable of doing was keeping his smile up and listening to all of his demands.

He was the sinner.

"Wow, is that the dessert?" Yun-tae asked as the waiters dropped them and left.

It was a beautifully decorated ice cream in a small transparent bowl. It had vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate flavors.

Two waffle sticks were sticking out of both ends and seeing this, Yun-tae picked one of the sticks on his ice cream and ate.

"Hm, this is nice." He exclaimed and went ahead to dig in his ice cream. His expression showed that he liked it so much but he was eating a bit too fast and ended up having... "Ahh, brain freeze." He exclaimed, pressing his fingers on his forehead.

Chin-hwa laughed and patted his shoulder.

"That's what happens when you rush your ice cream." He said and kept laughing. "Calmly now, it's not running away." He added and took a scoop in his mouth. "But I'm glad you like it."

"I love it." Yun-tae said. It looked like he had recovered from the brain freeze and was back to eating his ice cream but more calmly this time around.

Chin-hwa faced his ice cream. That was the same he acted when he had this ice cream the first time. Kang-woo was no different either. They both complained about brain freeze but still rushed the ice cream after it calmed down.

They were kids so there was nothing else to expect. He softly chuckled but then Kang-woo called out to him.

"Hwa,"

Chin-hwa raised his head and found a spoon of ice cream in front of his face. Kang-woo held it out to feed Chin-hwa with a smile on his face.

What was he up to this time?