Omega's Rebirth-Chapter 176: Self Blame ()

Neveah could sense the concern in Lydia’s tone and it completely puzzled her.

By all rights, she should have been a stranger Lydia could not wait to be rid off.

If there was anything Neveah had figured out, it was how unwelcoming the Asvarians were to unfamiliar species.

Was that not why everyone in dragon keep loathed her?

"Three days is long enough, it will be wrong of me to impose further." Neveah declined politely.

She was never one to overstay her welcome, besides, Neveah knew she would need to figure out her next step, she could not be rest assured if she continued lying down.

"You would not be imposing, since my son found you and brought you home, then I must care for you till you fully recover your health so his efforts are not in vain." Lydia insisted.

"But..." Neveah began to protest, but her words were cut off by Lydia.

"No arguments there. Lay back down, quickly, you head took a harsh hit, you might get dizzy with all this moving." Lydia reprimanded with pouted lips.

Neveah stared at Lydia in silence for a moment before she sat down again, a quiet groan of pain escaping her lips.

"There you go...still acting tough?" Lydia teased.

Neveah did not respond, laying back down on the bed, she sighed quietly, wondering what exactly she was to do from here.

In hindsight, Neveah had gotten exactly what she wanted... even if it required a risk of her life, she was now out of those cold walls.

Yes, she had made it out of dragon keep, but now that she was out... where exactly could she go?

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"It’s all my fault... I did this..."

"It’s all my fault... I caused this..."

This mantra rang through Xenon’s mind over and over again as he soared above the shore line, for as far as the river went.

For the past three days, this was all Xenon could think of, since the very moment he heard that the little wolf had jumped off a cliff.

This was not even the first time Xenon was making this flight, he could do nothing else but keep searching, tirelessly till he found her.

That overwhelming feeling of guilt and shame had taken root in Xenon’s heart, all he felt at this point was deep, intense regret.

That feeling of self loathing, knowing that harm had only come to the one he cherished because of him.

The little wolf had come to find him, she had come to find him because she cared.

Xenon could see it in her eyes, that Neveah cared for him.

She would always maintain a blank expression with everyone else, but she never concealed the warmth in her eyes when she looked at him.

Xenon had once wondered if that was because she believed he could not understand it...many people did not know exactly how much Xenon could comprehend and what he could not.

At the same time, Xenon knew Neveah did not conceal her thoughts from him because she trusted him.

Trust...her trust, a privilege she had given to no one else, somehow Xenon earned it without even knowing how he had become worthy.

The warmth he always found in her eyes was only because Neveah let him see it, she let him see without words that he was cherished just as much as he cherished her.

Between them two, Neveah had never faltered in all she did for Xenon even when she was not bound by a promise. It was Xenon who had failed.

Mount Edar was meant to be a safe heaven for his little wolf, Xenon had intended to be the one she could always come to when everything else and everyone else stood on opposing side.

He was meant to be the one who always took her side, so how could Xenon harm her in the way he had?

The memory of it... that look in her eyes as he squeezed the life out of her, claws digging into her fragile neck...it still haunted him even to this moment.

Now that the darkness within his mind had receded slightly, curling and churning in the depths, Xenon recalled it even more clearly.

All through, the warmth in Neveah’s eyes did not fade, she only stared at him, a pained look in her eyes...not for her own self but for Xenon.

’She saw my true self... she saw the monster I have hidden and yet...’ Xenon thought to himself painfully as he made his landing by the river banks.

Even after seeing it all, she showed no fear and she did not even despise him. Instead, Neveah still wanted to stay by his side.

It was Xenon himself who had sent her away, hurt her by letting her understand that the shadow of another woman still lived over his heart.

Xenon could not even begin to describe with words how he felt at this moment.

That feeling when one had failed to keep his promise... Xenon had vowed to protect the little wolf, he had brought her away from her home with a certainty that he could keep her safe.

Selfishly, Xenon kept her by his side all this while, even when he could have let her go if he chose to...he could have given her the freedom he knew she most desired.

But Xenon could not afford to let her go, everything the little wolf was was everything Xenon did not even know he needed until he had first laid eyes on her.

But in the end, Xenon had ruined it all... the wild haze had already receded at the sight of her tears, Xenon was in his right mind when he sent Neveah away.

Xenon had done it because he could not bear to face what he had done.

There had been so many chances to hold onto his little wolf, to go after her the moment she left, but Xenon had not dared.

"She said... she would not loathe me..." Xenon thought in a pained tone.

Xenon knew it well enough, the little wolf could forgive him...but if she left him like this, he would never forgive himself.