My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1781 - 1575: Never Enough

Right now, I can’t be in your heart, but no matter where I am, I’ll always be thinking of you.

Ran Zhihan really doesn’t know how to explain this to her husband right now. She’s already made everything so clear, but why, in the end, is he still unwilling to believe her? Can she truly be happy in a marriage without trust? She’s constantly reflecting on herself, yet every time she’s forcing herself to make a decision, pushing herself to be with him for life; but the end result has hurt her so badly, how could she find balance in her heart, having loved tirelessly for so many years, only to be treated this way.

Ran Zhihan doesn’t want to say anything right now, just turns to leave. But when her husband sees his wife turning away to leave, it makes him instantly unhappy; does she not even want to explain now? Why is giving an explanation so difficult? He just wants a convincing explanation, that’s all. In his mind, doesn’t he even deserve an explanation?

"Where do you want to go? Stand there and don’t move, things haven’t been explained clearly. Do you intend to leave quietly again? Don’t you feel it’s immoral to act this way? I’ve sacrificed so much for you, and yet you’ve betrayed me, done these things. Do you really think I wouldn’t mind? Do you think you can just walk away, leave me here alone, and even not care for our biological son? Do you feel this is what you should do as a mother?

No matter what happens, you should at least give me a reasonable explanation, otherwise, I will just assume you’re avoiding me, unwilling to tell me the truth. Do you think under such circumstances we can still live happily together? I believe you wouldn’t want to live in such misery either. Everyone’s inner self-respect is very strong; you have your dignity, your principles, and I also have my own dignity, especially since I am a man.

Think about it, if you were a man and you knew your wife had relations with another man, but you had to pretend you didn’t know, continuing to get along with your wife as if nothing happened, wouldn’t you feel disgusted?

To be honest, every time we’re intimate, as soon as I think about how you used to have such close interactions with another man, my heart aches deeply. You’ve never cared about my feelings. You always think that when I say I don’t mind, I really don’t mind. But I’m not a Saint; what I want is just a complete marriage, yet you’ve utterly disappointed me. I originally thought if I worked hard enough, if I could spare you from any worries, that you could live a life without needing to labor, it would be enough. But I never thought reality would give me a harsh slap in the face. My own wife spent a day and night mixed up with another man outside, while I, the husband, could only wait at home, and what I waited for was my wife, who returned without a word of explanation. How would you feel?

Zhihan, I’m not a fool; I can’t be like those men from ordinary families who continue to get along with their wives as if nothing happened even though they know their wives have cheated. They have other motives, but I’m different. I have everything I want now, and everything I have is earned through my own efforts. I have a clear conscience; I haven’t taken any shortcuts. I just worked harder from a young age than others; I gained everything through my own efforts.

I believe everything I have now is what I deserve. Having put in so much effort, why shouldn’t I have all of it? And you, what have you contributed? You’ve just lived with me for a few years, and you’ve gotten everything. You’ve easily conquered the world, while I have conquered everyone in the world, yet ultimately, only conquered myself. But now, I won’t be as foolish as I used to be for your sake. I’m not the person I was previously; I know every mistake I’ve made might seem insignificant to you, but to me, it’s a lifetime of pain. This pain might leave me unable to hold my head up for life. You willingly live your happy life, while I endure agony and suffering alone. My heart is in pain, yet you act as if nothing happened. How could I ever be content? How could I let this matter go?"

"Actually, from start to finish, I haven’t said anything else to you, have I? I don’t want much, do I? You want a stable marriage, and I’ve always wanted to live a stable life. Isn’t this the best for us? I admit I did something that wronged you, but was it my intention? I didn’t want these things to happen; it’s just that I fell into someone else’s trap. Why can’t you understand my inner thoughts?

Do you think after the incident, I’ve been living happily and joyously every day? You’re wrong; I’ve been living in immense pain every day. I’ve never dared to imagine how I’ve gotten through each day. I only know everything was my own doing, I have no other option, and you shouldn’t blame anyone else.

I didn’t want things to turn out this way, but the facts are in front of us; how can I save everything? What I want is your forgiveness. Only when you truly forgive me can I continue to stay by your side, work tirelessly for you, live together for life. But you’re stuck on this matter, stubbornly refusing to let go. Where do you leave me? Don’t you know what I want?" 𝕗𝐫𝚎𝗲𝘄𝐞𝕓𝐧𝕠𝘃𝕖𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝚖

Zhang Yichen remained silent. How could he not know what his wife wanted? He’s understood her so well over the years. It’s not that he doesn’t know, but he’s reluctant to admit the reality. She doesn’t want to admit she’s been clinging to this matter, but his heart is truly in pain. Some things really can’t be let go just because you want to, concerning one’s dignity, even the reputation of the entire family. He can only suppress everything for the family, but will it really escape those with intentions?

Believe me, Zhihan, I will certainly make you come back to me!