I Abandoned My Beast Cubs for the Protagonist... Oops?-Chapter 34: The Golden Meltdown

The silence that followed Cāng Jì’s whispered declaration of monkey-hatred was the kind of silence that preceded explosions.

The grizzled monkey who had just committed the ultimate offense scrambled away with a nervous chitter, disappearing into the canopy with the speed of someone who valued their continued existence. The monkey children who had been grooming the Dragon Prince’s hair released his sunset locks and backed away slowly, their eyes wide.

And then the other monkeys started laughing.

It began as a snicker from somewhere high in the branches. Then another. And another. Within seconds, the entire Over-Canopy was erupting with chittering, howling, absolutely unhinged laughter.

"Did you see his face?!"

"The mighty dragon got peed on!"

"His robes! His beautiful golden robes!"

"I am going to die! I can’t breathe! This is the best trial ever!"

Cāng Jì stood frozen, his entire body trembling. His hands, still clutching the jagged wooden comb, were shaking so violently that Bai Yue could hear it rattling. His golden eyes, usually so sharp and haughty, were wide with a mixture of rage, humiliation, and what might have been the beginning of a complete psychological breakdown.

His left eye twitched.

Then his right.

Smoke began to pour from his nostrils in thick, black plumes.

"Uh oh," Bai Yue whispered, her survival instincts screaming at maximum volume.

The temperature around them started to rise. The air shimmered with heat, and the wooden branch beneath their feet began to smoke slightly where Cāng Jì stood.

"I am going to burn this entire forest to the ground," the Dragon Prince said, his voice unnaturally calm. "I am going to turn every single tree into ash. I am going to incinerate every gourd, every vine, every monkey, and then I am going to salt the earth so that nothing ever grows here again. And then, THEN, I will go to the Dragon Council and accept my punishment with a smile on my face because it will have been WORTH IT."

The laughter died immediately.

Hóu Wáng, who had been grinning like a maniac, suddenly looked nervous. "Now, now, sparkles, let’s not be hasty—"

"HASTY?!" Cāng Jì’s voice cracked like a whip, and actual flames licked at the corners of his mouth. "I HAVE BEEN PATIENT! I HAVE ENDURED YOUR SCREAMING! YOUR SWINGING! YOUR PARASITES! AND NOW—" His voice rose to a near-shriek. "NOW I HAVE BEEN URINATED ON BY A MAMMAL!"

The branch beneath him began to char.

Bai Yue immediately lunged forward, throwing herself between the rapidly-combusting Dragon Prince and the suddenly-very-concerned Monkey King. Her hands came up, pressing against Cāng Jì’s chest, and she realized he felt less like a man and more like a smoldering volcano about to erupt.

"Calm down!" she yelled, looking up into his blazing golden eyes. "Cāng Jì, please! Calm down!"

"CALM DOWN?!" He looked at her like she had suggested he eat dirt. "How can I possibly—"

"I know! I know!" Bai Yue interrupted, her voice desperate. She could feel the wood beneath her feet getting dangerously hot. "This is terrible! This is humiliating! This is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone ever! But you can’t burn the forest down!"

"Why not?!" he snarled, smoke still pouring from his nose.

"Because then you’ll never get your stone back!" she said quickly. "And the Dragon Council will lock you in a cave for a thousand years! And you’ll never get to sleep on silk again! Or have your scales polished! Or—or eat those honey-cakes from earlier that you definitely liked even though you pretended not to!"

Cāng Jì’s eye twitched again, but she could see his attention focusing on her words.

"And," she continued, her hands still pressed against his chest, "if you burn down the forest, all those cubs back in the village will be sad. Yòu Lín will cry. And the panther triplets will cry. And Ruì Xuě—" Her voice softened. "Ruì Xuě will think the scary dragon hurt his mama."

The flames at the corners of Cāng Jì’s mouth flickered and died.

His breathing, which had been coming in sharp, furious bursts, began to slow. The smoke from his nostrils reduced to thin wisps, then stopped entirely.

The temperature around them dropped back to normal levels.

Cāng Jì closed his eyes, andhen he opened them again, the murderous rage had receded to mere intense irritation.

"Fine," he bit out, each word sounding like it cost him a year of his life. "FINE. I will not incinerate the forest. But I want it known that I HATE this. I hate everything about this. I hate monkeys. I hate trials. I hate you for stealing my stone in the first place."

"Noted and acknowledged," Bai Yue said quickly, relief flooding through her.

She turned to face Hóu Wáng, who was watching the exchange with an expression that was equal parts impressed and calculating.

"Please, Hóu Wáng," she said, bowing her head respectfully. "Let me take him somewhere to clean up. And get him some food. He hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday, and he’s going to pass out if he doesn’t get something in his stomach."

The Monkey King stroked his grizzled chin, his amber eyes narrowed. "Hmmm. We still have a long way to go with the trial. The day has barely begun."

"I know! But he can’t complete the trial if he’s a smoking pile of rage!" Bai Yue gestured at Cāng Jì, who was currently radiating hostility so intense it was almost visible. "Please. Just give him some timeto calm down. I promise we’ll come right back."

Hóu Wáng looked at his grandson, who shrugged.

"She has a point, Grandfather," Hóu Xián said, still perched on his branch. "A dead dragon is less fun than a humiliated one."

The old Monkey King sighed deeply, his tail swishing behind him. "Fine. Take him to the waterfall pools. But you—" He pointed a gnarled finger at Cāng Jì. "—come back ready to continue. Or the deal is off."

Cāng Jì’s glare could have melted stone, but he nodded stiffly.