How To End This Marriage-Chapter 112: Bittersweet Farewell

"I have resolved the war issue, but I’m uncertain about how to prove myself right and the duchess wrong. No matter what I do, she always manages to stay one step ahead," I muttered to myself as I walked toward my room.

"Bernice!" the duchess’s voice halted me.

"Mother, you—" she blocked my way.

"Yes, me!" she glared at me angrily.

"Why did you stop him from going to war? What is your intention? To tie my son to this household!" she shouted, pushing me back.

"I thought you would be okay not sending your son to the monstrous battle, but you’re blaming me? What kind of mother are you?" I glared at her.

"What kind of mother wants to send her son to get killed? Just what kind of person are you, duchess!" I shouted, my anger reaching its peak.

"You have no right to question what I do or don’t do. He is my son. I have made him grow up like this. I won’t let it ruin because of a mere woman who just married him out of nowhere," she said angrily.

"So, because of your anger toward me, you want to send your son to war? So selfish!" I said, glaring at her with disbelief.

"Yes, I am selfish, so what? Aren’t you here for your selfish reasons? Don’t you want to tie my son so that you could bewitch him? Then why am I the only one who is selfish when you are no less selfish than me?" she said, leaving me unable to speak. Am I really selfish? Do I want to bewitch him? Is this my true intention? I don’t know.

"If you are not selfish, then let him go!" she said and left me in a dilemma.

"What should I do? Do I have to prove myself that I’m not selfish? Do I have to prove that I don’t want to bewitch the duke? Do I have to?" I muttered while a hand made me turn around.

"Wife, what are you thinking here in the middle of the night?" the duke asked.

"Nothing!" I declined his question.

"You look worried, duchess. I know something has been troubling you," he said.

"Yes, something has been troubling me. But I don’t have a solution. I don’t know what to do. Is that going to make me selfish? I’m not sure. Or did I make a mistake by stopping you from going to that war? Did I? Tell me! I want to know," I asked him while tears started dripping from my eyes.

His hands went forward, caressing my face.

"Don’t shed tears for a monster like me. It hurts me to see you like this," he said, his furrowed expression making me believe him.

"I don’t know why you stopped me, but I wanted to go there. I want to save people who are dying there. I’m not going there because I wanted to, but I want to be there to save lives," he said, making me clench my teeth as if the duchess too wanted to say the same thing.

"Am I stopping you from your path?" I asked once again.

"Am I blocking you?" I inquired again.

"No, you are not!!! But give me the permission to go!!" he said, clenching his teeth.

"Let me go!!" he demanded.

Is he waiting for my permission to go? Really? I can’t believe it. He is the monstrous duke, but he needs permission from his wife to leave? Is this really the truth?

"Yes, I need your permission. So wife, permit me. I will do as you say," he said while tightening his grip on my cheek more firmly, making my throat twitch with sadness.

I don’t know what to do, but tears are dripping from my eyes. I can’t stop my heart from aching. But that is when I said, "You can do as you wish." I ran as I said. I don’t want to face him any longer. I can hear him softly calling me wife, but I still didn’t stop but went ahead, locking myself inside my room, bursting into tears.

"No, I don’t want to send you off."

"I don’t want you to shed your blood."

"I don’t mind how many enemies die, but my priority is you, my husband, it’s you," I cried as I spoke.

"I might have fallen for you, Duke Alexavier Agnes," I muttered while my tears couldn’t stop, making my heart hurt.

The entire night went ahead in my cry. But as the morning hit, I heard a knock on my door.

"Duchess, the duke has already left for war."

"He wishes to see you," the maid said.

"I will be there." I tried not to let her know I had been crying.

As she left, I wore a simple dress, made braids without doing any makeup, and quickly went ahead to see him. I found him all in armor, looking at me from afar, but I didn’t have the guts to go near him and bid farewell for war.

I stood at the stairs while I heard him calling me, "Wife!" I turned around as he said.

"Duchess, the duke has been waiting for you," the maid said once again.

"Tell him I’m not going near him. I don’t want to see him leave, so I’m not bidding him farewell," I said once again, running inside the room, locking myself from inside while my tears came outside once again.

"Why can’t the crown prince go to war? Why can’t the emperor himself go to war, but my husband? Is it that necessary to send him off to war?" I questioned loudly. Soon, I heard another knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I tried to remain calm.

"Wife, it is me!" Duke?

"I know you don’t want to see me."

"I don’t even know the reason. I don’t know if I forced you to permit me to go to war or if I have done something else to make you turn your face from me. But I want to see you," he said in his soft voice, making my heart gasp for air.

I didn’t say anything but stood by the door hearing him.

"Wife? Come out!" he said pleading.

I didn’t answer once again.

"Wife!" he called.

"Duke, we are getting late!! If we don’t go now, then we will have to stay in the middle of the path at night," the knights said.

"I’m coming!" he said while I stood by the door listening to him.

"Wife, I have to go now!" he said.

As I was about to open the door after his voice stopped coming inside, he held onto me.

"Finally, you showed up!!!" he said, holding me tightly.

"I’m so glad!!!" I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Duke, leave me!!" I said, trying to push him away.

"No, let me hold onto you for the days, months, or years I’m going to miss your warmth," he said.

As I thought I succeeded in pushing him away, he pulled me back, placing his lips on mine, making my eyes widen. I struggled to break free, but soon our tongues collided, making me gasp for air even though I’m not trying to break free anymore while his eyes have been staring into my soul, making me lose my balance on my knees.

"D-duke!" I said.

"Yes, wife!! Let me have you for those days I’m going to miss you," he said, continuing to kiss me, making me breathless as well as making me needy for human warmth for the first time in my lifetime.

"Duke, we are being late." He got called again, but he didn’t stop even though our lips separated. His lips once again stopped at my neck while his breath touched my neck, giving me goosebumps all over my body.

"You are late-" I said while looking at his eyes.

"Yes, you made me late," he said, looking at me with those hungry eyes.

I pushed him while wiping my saliva.

"You are late," I said once again, being all cold.

"Yes, I heard many times. But I promise you, once I’m back, there will be a new start for you and me. I will no longer have to hear you want to end this marriage nor will I let you break free from me. I will let you know I belong to you. And I only belong to you only," he said and left, leaving me in my room.

"What was that? When did he start making me feel this way? When did these changes occur?" I kept on mumbling, but I can still feel his lips on mine, his saliva on my lips, while his breath touched my neck. It all makes me all needy for the first time in my entire life.

"Come back, Duke!!! As you said, you have to keep your promise which you just made to me," remembering everything I mumbled.