Future Pet Shop-Chapter 39: A Children’s Song Special

"A single lamp of sorrow stands lonesome in the window, I pretend you still haven’t gone behind the door... Returning to old haunts, the full moon only brings more loneliness... After you left, the wine warms my memories, my yearning leaves me thin..." Since he had just taught Cheeky so many of Jay Chou’s songs, Shen Yibin figured he might as well start with one himself. He picked up the microphone and began to sing "East Wind Break," a song he had learned back in his school days.

"SHAKE-SHAKE-SHAKE—SMACK! SHAKE-SHAKE-SHAKE—SMACK!" Hah’Er wasn’t idle, either. He clambered onto the sofa, picked up a tambourine, and started keeping time for Shen Yibin to the rhythm of the music. The little guy actually had some musical talent; each strike was perfectly timed and didn’t disrupt Shen Yibin’s singing in the slightest.

"Hmm?" Hearing the singing, Cheeky seemed to recover some of his energy. He stood up on Hah’Er’s big head and began waving his wings, gesturing along to the song’s rhythm.

"STOP~~ Stop! Stop! Stop! I really can’t take this anymore! Can you please, just please, sing a single note in tune?" Cheeky hadn’t listened for more than a few lines before shouting him down without a shred of politeness. Clearly, Shen Yibin’s singing ability was far from satisfactory. Cheeky flopped back down on Hah’Er’s head, wearing an expression of utter despair. "You should switch to a song you’re actually good at," he said, his voice weak. "If I have to keep listening to this, it’s literally going to kill me."

’Damn it, I was the king of the mic in my dorm back in college! To think I’d be scorned by a parrot...’ Shen Yibin wanted to cry but had no tears. But then he recalled Cheeky’s performance in the shop earlier and had to admit the parrot had every right to criticize his singing.

"Uh, fine. I’ll change the song." ’When you’re outmatched, you just have to endure it.’ Dejected, Shen Yibin walked to the song selection screen, deleted his queued songs, and picked one he was even better at. He began to sing, "Here’s an old CD for you, let’s listen to the love we had back then. Sometimes I suddenly forget that I’m still in love with you..."

"Stop! Next!"

"You are a song within my heart, a flower blooming in my soul. You are the song of my life, my longing flows into a river..."

"Stop! Next!"

"I’ve seen deserts flooded by downpours, I’ve seen the ocean kiss the sharks, I’ve seen dusk chase after the dawn, but I’ve never seen you..."

"Stop! Next!"

Shen Yibin went through seven or eight of his best songs in a row, but not a single one could meet Cheeky’s minimum standards. He was mercilessly cut off time and time again and ordered to change the track.

"Boss, these are all I know. I really can’t sing anything else. Can’t you just suffer through a couple of them for me?" Shen Yibin put on a fawning smile and offered a fig to Cheeky’s beak. ’This master is so hard to please,’ he thought. ’You shouldn’t have come to my place. You should be a judge on *I Am a Singer*.’

"Mmph!" Hah’Er handed him a glass of juice and patted his shoulder, as if encouraging Shen Yibin to keep trying.

"Uh, isn’t it obvious you overestimated your own abilities and chose songs that are too difficult?" When it came to music, Cheeky seemed to become exceptionally serious. He pushed away the fig offered to him, propped his chin on his wing, and paced on the coffee table, pondering the root of the problem. "Or... perhaps you could try a much simpler song?"

"A simple song? Alright, I’ll give it another shot." Shen Yibin took a couple of sips of juice, caught his breath, and went back to work at the selection screen. A moment later, music filled the room again. "When I’m alone, it’s not that I don’t miss you. When I’m alone, I’m just afraid to think of you. When I’m alone, if it starts to rain, I’ll learn from you and toss my umbrella aside... The tail end of July, you’re a Leo. The prelude to August, you’re a Leo..."

"Stop! Next!" This song lasted a little longer, but was still mercilessly cut short by Cheeky.

"I planted a seed, and it finally bore fruit. Today is a great day! I’ll pluck the stars for you, I’ll pull down the moon for you, I’ll make the sun rise for you every day..." Shen Yibin was desperate now, even resorting to viral hits.

"Stop! That was way worse than my version. Next!" But he was still met with scorn. After changing the song a few more times without gaining Cheeky’s approval, the parrot sighed. "Sigh. Young man, don’t be so ambitious. These songs are still too difficult for you. Try something even simpler, okay?"

’Any simpler and we’re in children’s song territory!’ Shen Yibin had already exhausted his entire repertoire, but Cheeky was still unimpressed. Racking his brain, he finally gritted his teeth, stomped his foot, and played his trump card. He ran to the selection screen and frantically queued up a huge list of children’s songs.

"Little bunny, be a dear, open up the little door. Quick now, open up, I want to come inside. No, no, no, I won’t open. Mommy isn’t home yet. I won’t open for anyone. Little bunny, be a dear, open up the little door. Quick now, open up, I want to come inside. Yes, yes, I’ll open now. Mommy’s finally home! I’ll open up the door right now." This time, he seemed to have Cheeky’s approval. The parrot didn’t stop him until he had finished the entire song.

"Sigh. I guess this is your level," Cheeky sighed. "Alright, that one passes. Next."

’Damn it, so my level is children’s songs!’ Tears streamed down Shen Yibin’s face. Meanwhile, the blissfully ignorant Hah’Er was clapping enthusiastically, making the tambourine jingle wildly.

’As frustrated as I am, I have to suck it up. I have to keep this master happy, right? If I don’t, I’ll be the one picking up the soap in prison.’ Swallowing his frustration, Shen Yibin cued up the next children’s song. "Thunder means that it will rain, hey-o! (Duh!) Rain means use an umbrella, hey-o! (I know that too!) When it’s cold you wear a coat, hey-o, hey-ai-yo! When it’s hot you use a fan! Wisdom is... (Say it!) just that simple..."

’Boo hoo hoo... good thing I came alone. If I had brought Bai Yanni or Qiao Wenqi, I’d never be able to show my face again.’ Shen Yibin sobbed, crying like a 300-pound baby as he sang one children’s song after another. "The sky is clear, the flowers are all in bloom. I smell the flowers and think of when I was young. My home, as sweet as maple syrup. Happiness is singing with my little sister..."

The singing passed through the door of the KTV room and into the hallway. The bizarre sound immediately attracted the attention of the staff nearby. ’Someone singing children’s songs in a KTV? That’s rare.’ 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝙚𝔀𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝒐𝒎

"Did we get some business from kids today? It’s not the weekend, is it?"

"No, the guy in that room is in his twenties. It’s the one who came in with the panda earlier." The staff member’s expression was a bit strange. ’What’s the deal with a guy in his twenties coming to a KTV to sing children’s songs?’

"Oh, he’s probably singing for the panda," someone said, as if it suddenly made sense. "He really dotes on his pet, huh."

And so, to the tune of children’s songs, the group of staff members praised the loving and caring Shen Yibin.