Captured By The Cold Detective (BL)-Chapter 496: Grave Mistake

Finally. He Juan shut his eyes and took a quiet inhale to steady his nerves. The question he had been dreading to hear throughout the whole week was finally here.

He swallowed past his dry throat. These past few days, he had been thinking long and hard and in the end, he could only come to a conclusion: he had to tell He Xie the truth. Difficult as it might be to accept, He Xie was his brother after all. Surely, he would be able to grasp the complexities of the situation once He Juan explained it thoroughly. Surely, the bond and connection they shared would be strong enough to withstand the truth. Right?

That had been He Juan’s intention, but when he opened his mouth, what came out was,

"I... haven’t located XIU’s whereabouts yet."

He Juan couldn’t help the pang of self-loathing that seared through him as soon as those words left his mouth. It was a sensation akin to a punch in his gut, cold and squeamish. As much as he wanted to justify his actions as protective measures for He Xie, that he did not want to burden He Xie with such an inconceivable truth when he was still in a mourning period, he knew deep down that he was doing it for himself.

Because he was scared. He did not want He Xie to look at him differently. He wanted to remain as a kind, gentle and rich brother in his brother’s eyes rather than a cold-blooded murderer and the devil of the underworld the media had portrayed him to be.

For the more precious something was, the more agonizing the thought of losing it became.

An icy numbness encased He Juan’s heart. His guilt and remorse seemed to have morphed into sharp thorns that lodge in his throat, making each breath a struggle. I’m sorry, he whispered inside his heart. I’m sorry, A–Xie. Please forgive how pathetic and cowardly your Ge is.

In an attempt to redeem himself, he decided to shift to the topic He Xie wanted to know the most and lay the truth bare. "But I did discover something about the real culprit in my investigation. A–Xie, he... he possessed unusual pheromones that can kill. He couldn’t control it, nor could he predict that something like this could happen. What happened on Wunan Road was wholly an accident. He is only thirteen years old, A–Xie. He..." He Juan paused, took a deep breath before steeling himself to finish his sentence, "He is innocent."

Toward the end, his voice grew increasingly hoarse as if the words had been scraped out of his throat. God knew how much courage and composure he needed to break the news to his brother. He Juan waited with bated breath for a response, but in the end, all he received was a soft, incredulous laugh.

"So you’re telling me to let it go... because A–Sheng’s death is a mere accident? Because the culprit is innocent? Is that right, Ge...?"

Alarm bells rang in He Juan’s mind and he keenly sensed that the atmosphere had gone awry. "A–Xie..."He stepped forward to hold the younger man’s arm, only for his hand to be slapped away. "Don’t touch me!"

He Juan was stunned, as this was the first time He Xie had rejected him so harshly.

"How..." He Xie’s voice quivered as he turned around, his emotions raw and uncontrollable. Tears filled with eyes, though this time they were no longer one of sorrow, but fury. Pure and bright fury. A torrent of rage and resentment surged within him, his voice coming out akin to a low growl. "How can you say he is innocent when he has claimed nine lives?! How can you tell me this and expect me to accept it just like that?!"

"A–Xie!" He Juan’s tone tinged with urgency when he realized that his brother was getting too agitated. He tried to placate him, to reason with him, to no avail. "A–Xie, please. Calm down first and—"

"If... if he had known that his pheromones were dangerous, if he had known that he could pose a threat to others one day, then he should have gone into hiding or locked himself up at home or whatever!" He Xie’s anguished voice broke through the air, the weight of his emotions evident in every word. "Why did he have to go out and mingle with the crowd? Why?! And now that an accident had happened, he could get away by stating that it was not on purpose? No, I can’t accept that! The moment he has blood in his hands, he is already a sinner! I’d rather die than to forgive him!"

The rest of He Juan’s words got stuck on his throat, forming into a lump that prevented him from breathing properly. He knew that they were talking about Ye Hu right now, but he couldn’t help but feel as if He Xie’s last words were directed toward him. He attempted to utter a response, a word– anything. But his lips merely parted without a word, colors draining from his face.

"But you..." He Xie’s gaze turned towards him, a mélange of bitterness, pain and mockery emanating from his eyes. It struck He Juan like a poisoned arrow to his heart and it hurt. It hurt so much that even the tip of his fingers quivered. "You think he’s innocent too, don’t you, Ge? You also believe that I should just let this go..." a storm of emotions contorted his face, blending anger and sorrow in a heartbreaking display. He choked on his tears, yet each word he uttered was loud and clear across the empty hall. "Who are you to dictate that? You have no idea... you don’t have the slightest idea of the agony I’m going through right now. You probably assume that I’m still young, that I’m overreacting due to my grief. But you’re mistaken..." his voice faded into a pained whisper, as he showed an ugly smile.

"A–Sheng has been there for me for as long as I can remember. When I was sad, when I got sick alone, when I needed a confidant, when I had happy news to share... it was always A–Sheng who stood by me. Not you, Ge. Not even once have you been there for me, because you have always prioritized your damn job over your family!"

He Juan stood rooted in place. He felt like a lighting bolt had just struck him right on the head, leaving behind an ache that pounded on his skull. He had no idea. Was this... was this how He Xie had been feeling all along? Had he been harboring this kind of silent pain within him all this time?

"You have never been there for me..." He Xie’s voice cracked with sobs. "So what right do you have to tell me to let this go?!"

He Juan’s head spun and he needed not a mirror to know how terrible his complexion must be right now. He struggled to form words, his lips quivering as he tried to speak, yet the lump on his throat seemed to have strangled his ability to convey the depths of his remorse. His nose turned sour, and hot tears stung on the back of his eyes.

No... he didn’t... he never intended to make He Xie feel abandoned. He just... he just treasured his brother so much. So much that he did not even dare to get close...

But how could he explain it to He Xie? How was he supposed to make up for the lost time?

He Xie’s labored breaths echoed in the heavy silence, his eyes a fiery red, seemingly as if blood would spill forth at any moment. As seconds stretched, He Xie closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. The absence of response from He Juan only fueled his resignation and a faint rueful smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"What did I even expect? You will never understand my feelings. Everyone says that only Alphas and Omegas get to have a mate, but I... I truly felt like A–Sheng is my mate." His eyes locked onto He Juan’s reddened ones, brimming with anguish. "If I had been an Alpha like you, he would have been my mate. I am certain of it. And the pain of losing one’s mate is said to be unimaginable. It’s enough to drive someone to the brink of madness. But Ge, you couldn’t possibly understand, could you?"

He Juan’s pupils trembled, and his lips parted to form a soundless word. No...

He could. He did understand. Because, unbeknownst to He Xie, he had found his mate.

For him, He Juan had killed, had inflicted agonizing torment on the perpetrators. He had never put himself in He Xie’s shoes before, but if... if today the person in the casket was not Xia Weisheng but Mu Yuze, He Juan would... oh God, he would react even more violently than He Xie. He would chase after the culprit relentlessly, even to the end of the world. And if he failed, he would burn the whole world down, for a world without his mate was not one worth living. He Juan knew that this was what he would have done... if he really lost Mu Yuze.

He Xie was right. It was an agony so unfathomable that the mere thought of it was enough to make him break out in a cold sweat. What did it matter if the perpetrator was innocent? They caused his mate to die, and so they deserved to die in the worst way possible. It was that kind of agonizing madness. No one could replace Xia Weisheng in He Xie’s heart, just like how no one could replace Mu Yuze in his own heart. 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝙬𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝒎

He Juan knew it all too well, and thus he lost the chance to stop He Xie.

At the end of the day, they were blood brothers. The instinct to seek vengeance on those who had robbed them of their most precious possessions was ingrained in their blood. It was the same instinct that had driven He Juan to avenge his murdered parents, and now... Xia Weisheng’s tragedy...

Oh, He Juan had made a grave mistake, hadn’t he?

He Xie only had him to rely on, had pinned all of his hopes in He Juan’s ability to deliver justice for his lover. And He Juan had even given his word, made a promise from his own mouth. But what did he say in the end? He had told... he had fucking told He Xie that the culprit was innocent, had insinuated that he should let the accident slide. And in doing so, he had let He Xie down.

He had betrayed the trust He Xie placed in him.

What have you done, He Juan? What kind of foolish mistake have you made?!

"Even after knowing that, do you still expect me to let go, Ge?" He Xie laughed, a bitter and hollow sound that echoed his despair. His voice turned into a hiss, "You’re supposed to be my Ge..."

The rest of his words remained unspoken, but He Juan could hear it nonetheless.

So why are you not taking my side?

It was this sentence that dealt the final blow on He Juan, leaving him breathless until all he could perceive was pain, pain and pain. It was his fault. He should have prioritized He Xie’s pain above all else. He should not have attempted to take a neutral stance and find a compromise for both sides. He was He Xie’s Ge. His one and only Ge. He was supposed to stand by He Xie’s side no matter what.

Alas, the damage had already been done, and nothing He Juan did could ever turn back time.

As He Xie walked past him, He Juan subconsciously reached out and grasped his arm. "A–Xie, I..." he started, his voice faltering. What could he even say? Sorry? Was that one word enough to mend the deep wounds he had unknowingly inflicted on He Xie’s heart?

"No need to worry about me. I will not do anything stupid," he stated, shaking He Juan’s grip off him. "I just need some time alone."

With those words, he walked out of the hall, leaving He Juan alone with a heart burdened heavily with regret.