[BL] Debut in Interstellar After Retiring as Grim Reaper-Chapter 22 - : Pei Roujin

Chapter 22: Pei Roujin

Qin An quickly remembers the greeting ritual for seniors. Even if his movement was stiff, he still bows his head lightly and tries to relax himself.

"Teacher." He greets. Even if his tone is slightly stiff, it was enough for Pei Roujin to know that he's trying his best to adjust.

Pei Roujin's interest was picked up by his stiffness. This young man doesn't seem to be used to bowing his head or showing respect to someone. And he feels that it's not just because of his arrogance but definitely something else.

It was as if he was really not used to bowing down to someone because... he was used to being the one who received respect instead? Pei Roujin's interest increased at that thought. Who was him? What kind of identity did he have for having this character?

If Qin An knew his thoughts, he'd probably agree. Because he's been a top senior, he was really used to receiving respect and honorifics from others. And even if he faces someone who's higher than him, especially if it's the Judge, Qin An does not bow his head but instead just takes off his hat as a sign of his respect.

Everyone in the underworld has their own arrogance after experiencing and facing enough deaths and coldness. This was already carved on their bones, so now that he's just a normal human, even if he knew that the latter was stronger to him as of now, he was still not used to it.

"Did you already see the assessment test?" Pei Roujin asks him. Qin An nod.

"Okay, before we proceed with your practical movements, we'll directly address your problem here." Pei Roujin looks at him.

"What are your thoughts about the song? What message do you think it wants to convey to others, Classmate Qin?" Qin An thought about the lyrics and based it on the understanding about human emotions, he stated what he had observed on Lin Yu earlier.

Pei Roujin nods as an acknowledgement. "It's a good observation. However," He looked at his reflection in the mirror. "Understanding and applying it to yourself is totally different."

"Yes."

"Galaxy With You is a song about giving hope and being thankful for one's effort to stay as their light. Classmate Qin, one way to understand this emotion is to feel it itself. I'll ask you, have you ever experienced the feeling of being looked up to?" Pei Roujin asks.

Qin An remembers some grim reaper's in the past and nods his head.

"Then what do you feel seeing them like that?"

What did he feel? Qin An frown in confusion. Being an outstanding senior grim reaper, he was someone that most looked up to. So other than fear, he also felt their admiration for him. But how did he feel? Nothing.

He didn't care if they admired him. He didn't care if he was someone they liked.

Qin An felt nothing because he himself doesn't think that what he did was great enough. There are many grim who's more outstanding and outgoing than him, why would they set their eyes on him?

So Qin An shook his head at Pei Roujin. The latter at him with somewhat surprise.

Pei Roujin was really surprised by his answer because they all thought that he became arrogant because he received things like that. They thought Qin An felt arrogant after that.

They felt that this young man probably received too many high praises from the people around him but looking at his expression, it's actually a no?

This time, Pei Roujin finally realizes that Qin An was only arrogant because he's capable but not smug. He doesn't brag nor feel himself he's great. As if everything he did was normal.

Now he's even more curious about his background.

"Then I'll ask you, why did you join this competition? Why do you want to become a global idol?"

Qin An blink and answer without hesitation. "Because of money and accommodations."

"....??"

Pei Roujin's expression finally cracked. "Excuse me?"

The young man's face was straight as he spoke bluntly again. "Li Bai said that they'll cover up my accommodation and pay me after the competition. That's why I joined."

"... That's it?" Pei Roujin's voice finally contains a slight hesitation and anticipation that he'll change his answer but no, Qin An nods again.

Pei Roujin sighs deeply. So that's it. He finally knew why he couldn't find any ambition in this young man. He didn't join because he wanted the spot.

He actually wanted to question and speak harsh words again but opt not to. He remembers that Qin An is an orphan. If that's really his reason then he can understand it for now. Being an orphan is really hard. You have to live on your own. He lightly glanced at the cameras in this room. He wonders what kind of reactions the audience will have after watching this episode.

"I understand." Pei Roujin slightly massaged his brow and changed his questions. "Classmate Qin, I'll say this directly. If you want to stay on this stage, change that mentality. Being an idol isn't like that. Yes, it's also a job to earn but it's more than that. Just like what the song wanted to convey, it meant giving hope and gratefulness. Do you have someone you're thankful for?"

Qin An tilted his head. "Why?"

"I became an actor for myself in the past." Pei Roujin chose to be ambiguous instead of answering him directly. "I wanted to act because I felt it was interesting and gave me freedom, that's why I work hard. However, I changed when I saw people liking my works."

Pei Roujin looked at himself in the huge mirror and he felt like he saw his old self in front of him.

"I met them and they thanked me for giving them hope. The character that I portrayed was even a villain so I asked them how I was a bad person in the movie. However, they said that the character made them realize how a human was not born evil. It made them understand being human and realize the essence of it. Hearing their praises, I felt the connection between them. I realized that what I did that I thought was for myself actually gave them hope." Pei Roujin is actually not an emotional person, but since being an actor, he understands humans even more. He acted and learned about emotions and it gave him a reason to change his perspective in life.

Being an actor taught him how to become a human so gradually, he fell in love with it even more.

"It's actually like this as an idol too. You stand on stage because you feel the connection to them." Pei Roujin looked at the young man beside him.

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"Classmate Qin, other than yourself, why did you decide to join this? The company planned for you to become a model. It's a route that is easier for you and you can get your salary after that. Will that solve your problems, then? But what are you doing here and choosing this path when you know how hard it is for you?"

Pei Roujin starts walking towards the door and when it opens, he faces Qin An again.

"I think you'll have to understand this first before considering continuing on this journey." Then he left, leaving the young man inside staring at his own reflection.

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