Zhanxian - Chapter 628: Cutting The Peach Tree

I was betrayed in my first life.A cripple, broken and discarded—I died after catching the one I loved in bed with the only person I ever called a friend.That was the start of real torment.When I woke up, it was in another world.A goddess stood before me.She told me I could go back.Back to my world.Back to everything I lost.All I had to do… was play my part.The side character.And I did.I followed the script.Played my role to perfection.They hated me.Mocked me.Used me.Again and again.But I kept going. Because I believed her.Because I wanted to go home.Then one day, I found out.The hard way.It was all a lie.There was no going back.There never was.She used me.Again.Just like everyone else.Thrown away like trash once I outlived my usefulness.That was the day something inside me snapped.And so, I made a vow.I would take everything from her.I would enslave every single heroine she chose.And I would kill the hero she placed all her hopes on.If she wanted to protect this world…Then I would burn it down.But the more I tried, the more things started to change.And then one day—I found one of the heroines.One of the hero's yanderes I had enslaved.She stood there, trembling, a knife in her hand.“You’re not going anywhere,” she whispered, eyes wild.“I won’t let them have you. You belong to me.”...What. The. Fuck. Is. Happening?!

Yours Truly shall have all of you bow down to me!

Arriving in this brand-new world, Lin Fan found himself in possession of a system which allows him to level up indefinitely unbounded by the limitations of this world. Upon learning a powerful technique of Monkey Steals Peaches, Lin Fan realises that he’s poised to literally become the strongest person in this entire world. But of course, how boring would that be unless the whole world gets to know about his great name?

Shameless. Righteous. Smart. Lin Fan will let no one (or balls) stand in his way to glory!

- Description from Novelupdates

Jiang Dao died extremely heroically in the apocalyptic world war. He never thought that he would have a chance to open his eyes again.

He traveled through, into a danmei book he had read, and became a vicious villain in the book.

Jiang Dao thought to himself: “After more than ten years of fighting for my life in the last days, I’m tired, so what am I fighting for? It’s better to be a vase. Use my face to finish the brokerage contract, and then find a corner in the world with beautiful scenery and live a peaceful life of growing vegetables, cooking, and raising cats and dogs…”

So, he returned the role that the original owner had snatched from the protagonist shou on the spot.

Unexpectedly, in the variety show that started shooting the next day, Jiang Dao performed a shoulder toss and threw the current number one kung fu actor, Chu Yinlong, to the ground.

Chu Yinlong: Boy, you have successfully caught my attention. My new movie, the villain, can fight, you come.

Jiang Dao: …Sorry, I’m just a vase.

————

In a later interview.

A reporter asked Chu Yinlong: “How would you rate your perfect partner, Mr. Jiang Dao?”

Chu Yinlong replied: “A vase.”

Reporter: “How can a kung fu superstar as famous as him be a vase?”

Chu Yinlong: “Diamond vase. Precious, beautiful, hard enough.”

- Description from Novelupdates

A hundred thousand years ago, there was a great war between cultivators. Immortals fell by the tens of thousands, the path of cultivation itself was severed, and after the dust settled, tombs forested the world.

A hundred thousand years after the last legend faded, Lu Yun, commandant of tomb raiders, descends upon the world. Armed with the Book of Life and Death, he has some burning questions to answer.

……

“This isn’t how you raid a tomb!” Lu Yun smirked at the cultivators frantically scurrying about the ancient tomb. “Do you want me to teach you?”

……

But ah, can someone teach him how to cure his new body’s erectile dysfunction?