Two and Half Men - Reborn as Jake Harper - Chapter 53: The call

When she left the capital city, she was fat, chubby and white in everybody’s eyes. When she returned to the capital city, she was perfect; a goddess in everybody’s eyes.

A reporter once asked her: What do you think is most important for a woman?

She simply smiled and answered: The most important thing is to be good to ourselves.

When a person has a crush, other than the person himself, no one will know.

- Description from Novelupdates

In the rural northeastern mountainous regions stands a tiny Buddhist temple, named One Finger Temple. It isn’t a large one but it is extremely miraculous.

The temple has rice that emanates an aromatic fragrance.

The temple has sweet and refreshing water that rivals ambrosia.

The temple has Buddhas that grant wishes to the sincere.

The temple isn’t large but it has everything. The temple isn’t large but it has flourishing incense offerings that far exceed all temples. The temple isn’t large but it attracts both citizens and foreigners that line up overnight…

The temple has a bald but handsome monk. Every day, he would bawl, “I want to renounce asceticism! I want to marry a chick that’s not too pretty, have a cute baby, and lead a stable life!”

This book is a casual novel that introduces various Chinese traditional customs, as well as Buddhist ones. It strives to be a positive book, allowing people to reflect on how they should live their lives and treat others.

- Description from Novelupdates

Heaven and Earth serve as the guesthouse for all living things, with Time being the sojourner since time immemorial.

As with the difference between dreaming and awakening, the distinction between life and death is diverse and confused, and changing.

What awaits us beyond time, once we have transcended life and death, heaven and earth?

“What the fuck? What is going on? Have I completely lost it?”

As I stare panicky at the dot unable to decide what to do, the white dot disappears and a line of text appears in its place.

[Installing files. 1% done…]

As I watch the text in shock, the percentage gradually increases. […2%...3%...4%...]

I move to the living room in a zombie-like manner, too shocked to think clearly and lie down on the couch.

“Something is wrong with me; I think I finally lost my sanity…”

[…12%...13%...14%...]

Unable to affect the situation in the least, I stare dejectedly at the percentage increase, while my mind starts exploring the possible explanations. In the end, as the percentage hits 90%, I narrow it down to three possibilities.

The first possibility is that I am in fact still unconscious and this is all a product of my mind. I pinch myself and whimper at the pain, as in my nervousness I used almost all my strength.

Nope, the first is out.

The second possibility is that I have completely lost my mind and am suffering from delusions. Hmm, I cannot exclude this, but while possible, I don’t think that this is it. The only thing out of the ordinary is that fucking line of text.

The third possibility …

[Installation successful!]

The text disappears and a new message appears in my eyes…

The third possibility … is that I gained a system. I read the message with my mouth agape at the implications.

[Welcome user, to the Perverted Daddy System!]

Fuck…