MTL - Jagged Germany - Chapter 1739 Roosevelt's Choice (ask for a monthly ticket)

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

At a young age, I became a thousand-year-old bastard.

Ding! Congratulations to the host, you have obtained the phagocytosis synthesis evolution system.

An earth dragon was found in front, devouring synthetic evolution, the earth dragon tortoise.

From then on, my wonderful career began…

- Description from novelbuddy

So I've been playing this shitty dating game along with my friend. Why is it shitty? Well, none of the damn endings are happy! You're destined to get a sad ending no matter what choices you make.

But for some reason, we couldn't stop ourselves from talking about it or searching for some other ending.

Ah... but I guess it doesn't matter since both of us died saving some random people we never met.

...Wait, why did I reincarnate into the villain of the shitty dating game? And my friend reincarnated as the hero?

Is this... a good thing?

Fuck, Nathan why are you beating yourself up? We need to make a real plan here!

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In my previous life, I was half a move short and ultimately failed to reach the summit. Having traveled back to the past, this time... I want to become the strongest in this world! To become the strongest in this world, one only needs three simple steps: 1. Pick up a newly-transferred Demonic Sect Enchantress off the streets. 2. Subdue and vanquish the demon. 3. Take her cultivation technique for myself. Awesome! I’m already invincible! ———————— Years later, Yan Yu, who had earned the title of “the strongest,” was interviewed on television: Host: To whom do you want to give thanks for your success today? Yan Yu: I’d like to thank a very important woman to me. Host (eyes lighting up): Oh, is she your wise and virtuous wife? Yan Yu: No, consider her a stepping stone, I suppose. Host (wiping sweat): Then... what about the other members of your team? They must have helped you as well, right? Yan Yu: ... How could there possibly be only one stepping stone on the path to godhood?