I Don't Want to Get Hurt, So I'll Max Out My Defense - Chapter 1 - Master, Don’t Hit the Face

As a boss with space plant abilities in the apocalypse, Lu Yao once traveled to the future, became the director of a nursery school that was about to close down, and became a rare animal human on the verge of extinction.
The food she made at random can cure the genetic disease of the cubs in the welfare home. She punched the cubs’ scum fathers and scum mothers, and kicked the remarried families who abandoned the cubs.
It is such a good kindergarten successor dean, who is attracted by that single cool imperial marshal!
Since then, the barrage in the live broadcast room has become:
Imperial Citizen A: Dean A, I really want to marry.
A certain big black dragon: Shut up! This is your marshal’s wife!
CP: Dean Lu Yao, who is extremely protective of short-sightedness and loves cubs, X the imperial marshal Helanjia who loves Shang Yunxi more than cubs
Brief: There are no bad cubs, only bad big ones.

- Description from novelbuddy

My wife betrayed me, but little did she know that I awakened the Immortal Emperor's inheritance, and from then on, I embarked on an extraordinary life against the heavens, embracing a top-tier beauty in my arms...

Long Chen, a crippled youth who cannot cultivate, is constantly targeted and bullied by his fellow noble heirs. After a particularly vicious beating, he wakes up and realizes a Pill God’s soul has somehow merged with him, giving him some additional memories. Within those memories is the mysterious Nine Star Hegemon Body Art, a cultivation technique that even he can train in, but whose secrets and origin are still a mystery to him. Relying on his improved instincts as he finally begins to cultivate, he realizes a huge conspiracy is underfoot within the Phoenix Cry Empire, one involving his father, members of the imperial family, and even the Emperor himself.

“Hot Noodles request to add you as a friend.”An inexplicable friend request, a non-existent contact.Claiming to be a message from herself in the future, intimately knowledgeable about her past.Fang Xiaocao was utterly numb.Hot Noodles: Danger, do not go home tonight.“Is this some kind of joke?”Staring at the WeChat message, Fang Xiaocao rolled her eyes and opened the anti-theft door.Hot Noodles: At midnight, when the knocking starts, don't turn on the light if you don't want to die.In the early morning: 00:00:00Fang Xiaocao was woken by the knocking sound. She was just about to turn on the bedside lamp when she remembered that bizarre message.She pulled back her hand and stayed put until dawn, only to know her neighbor next door, a woman living alone just like her was murdered at midnight...Fang Xiaocao was suddenly covered in a cold sweat.Hot Noodles: To celebrate our narrow escape from death, go to the flea market before three in the afternoon, stall number 7, and buy the seventh inkstone on the left-hand side. The seller's bottom price is 80, but the inkstone is worth 8 million.After last night's ordeal, Fang Xiaocao inexplicably chose to believe.She successfully bought an inkstone for a hundred dollars, and later discover it was indeed a imperial inkstone from the Qing Qianlong era, worthing 8 million!Fang Xiaocao stood there, dumbfounded!Following the message's instructions, she bought a second-hand car.But little did she know, the guidance was linking her into a series of events that dragged out a murder case and a fortune worth two small goals.Who on earth sent her the messages?It's really her future self?Or it's some kind of bizarre game?