Milo stared at Cazact as the other tried to answer his question. Finally, Cazact relaxed, a little.

"You are observant. I must remember that and not let it bother me. You saw Lurbrigut's Spy-Eye in the jar of pickled lizard eyes. This saved me much loss of information. He covets my knowledge. You see things...yes. Understanding you brings less distress."

A small pause as he straightened his hat, "I know too much. I know too little. My kind are cursed with a need to accumulate knowledge. I become...distressed if I am bored, and bored when I can't find new things. Very new things, not derivatives of other things. I have seen a bowl of mushroom stew, can cook it myself, know the ingredients. Any other mushroom stew is not new. Nor is mushroom stew with pickled lungfish. I have eaten pickled lungfish. The combination is derivative, not new. You understand this concept?"

Milo nodded, "I do. It is logical. And the accumulation of new knowledge makes a growing population of things derivative, and the finding of new knowledge more difficult."

Cazact leaned in closer, dropping his voice, "Yes, yes it does. You do understand. I had hoped you would, but hope so often leads to despair. Despair leads to madness."

"Have you ever seen bears like these before?"

"Yes. No! Maybe!!! They are different, each of them, as if no two were made by the same artisans, but each contains an idea that is new. That is enough. And Ursula is new! Her movements are so real! She looked at me and grinned. The mechanisms of doing that are complex and beyond what any dwarf I have ever met can do. I am not bored!"

"But, you are still in distress."

Cazact sat back, looking sad. "I am. No longer bored, I must now store this new knowledge. Each new piece adds to the things I must perfectly remember. Knowledge is a sacred trust and there are so few of us left that remember the important things. So many important things! Nothing can be lost, but new things must be added. It is not something you would understand. But you asked a question. I have answered. My turn, you must find something interesting to tell me, it won't be hard, I suspect."

Milo pondered the situation, then spoke. "My family are different. We understand things differently, and have had to deal with things that other people do not. Like you, we do not forget things. My brother, Zander, foresaw a day when we too would need to remember things differently and has experimented with four-dimensional, interlocking pyramids to store our memories. My mentor, Jeremy, has shown me how to split my mind into many pieces, each working separately. My sister, Nina, has shown us how to tie memory to senses and key words. My brother, Bork, is organized....so organized. He showed us how to use our multiple minds to store our memories in Zander's structure, coded by Nina's method."

Cazact was very still for a long time. "This is new. Overwhelmingly new. What price to you ask? I will pay it. Ways to acquire gold? I have many. Power over your enemies? I know many secrets! Ancient spells that shake the heavens? I know who will teach them too you, and at what cost. Ask me, and I will tell you. But I must learn these new ways. I must!"

"Do you know much of Bloth? How to get there?"

"I do! I do! And I can show you the way, or take you myself!"

"That is knowledge that I value. But, we are leaving now, charting a route to a set of caves I need to find, and may not be back for days or weeks."

Cazact nodded, this was obvious to him, looking at the mighty caravan of bears. And distressing. They headed in a dangerous direction. This strange family and new ways could be lost! "I will go with you! I have taken many routes in my travels! I can leave now. My idiot assistants will nap and eat and play games until I return, then head to Bloth on their own. When we all return, I will escort you to Bloth."

Milo stared hard at Cazact. "I have secrets. You must swear by your god and the system never to reveal the secrets of my family, and anything that I tell you is secret."

"I will swear by the system. My god abandoned me and my kind, leaving us to guard the knowledge. The oath would be useless, but the System will know. Hear me, System who speaks in a sarcastic and annoying voice! I, Cazact, one of the last of those who remember swear to keep Engineer Sage Milo Tallsqueak's secrets and those of his family!"

Oh boy, will this be fun to watch. Two of my favorite, annoying people are going to spend time together, bonding and annoying each other? Sounds like an awesome idea. What could possibly go wrong?!

Let's find out.

Cazact patted Milo on the knee, "You are also a favorite? I am sorry. I did not know other's had my burden."

Milo sighed, "It is a heavy one to bear. But I'm sure there are others. I need to keep busy, and you need to find new things. The System has a great need to annoy people."

That brought laughter and a smile from Cazact. "It is reciprocal. I often have a need to annoy the system back. But let us go. Our paths become one for a time?"

"They do. Let's catch up to the caravan and begin your lessons. They will be painful, I'm warning you."

Cazact seemed undeterred, "Life is pain, and maybe this will be a new type of pain."

Milo grimaced, remembering Jeremy's lessons. "I certainly found that to be true."

This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Since no one had told them not to scout ahead, Ringo and Tweedle took it upon themselves to head down the tunnel where the snail army had emerged from. Along they way, they looked at the carnage still being repaired, including the pit of corrosive snail gunk that no one knew what to do with yet.

"This place is definitely a 'Fixer-Upper'."

"There was a fight here."

"So I'm told. Tallsqueak battled snails. Then doubled-down and fought nasty Bloth people."

"Which explains the carnage. This is the problem with picking a fight with Tallsqueak, he has mastered the arts of destruction."

"Right?! I am so jealous."

"He is an inspiration to our generation. So many now are not content to sit at home tending mushrooms and listening to the elders."

"Did we ever do that?"

"Not that I recall. We were pathfinders, forging our way to a new future. I don't remember it going so well at the time."

"Indeed. But I have to blame the elders for that, much of what they said was nonsense about work and responsibility. It made no sense to us."

"But now?"

"Oh, yes. Now. Much better. I'm amazed at how much smarter they all got. They are enjoyable to talk to and I value their lessons."

"I attribute that to the good influence of Tallsqueak, he is a good teacher."

"And Larry, we learned so much from Larry. I still remember the day we learned how fast Larry could run. So educational!"

"Eye opening. And watching Grandfather save our lives with cookies? A lesson no one taught us yet."

"I always have cookies in my pockets now. Could be lifesaving when something nasty wants to kill us."

"Like that giant snail moving towards us, waving friendly looking, razor sharp tentacles? Maybe he wants a cookie."

"I don't see a mouth, just a ratkin sized hole in the middle of the tentacles, lined with sharp teeth. What variety of killer mutant snail is this?"

"According to the handy scout guide, it is 'none-of-the-above'. It looks like a battle snail, but has bright red racing stripes like the burney snails. But it isn't racing."

"No, for a possibly life ending threat, it is moving rather slow. I suggest flinging a cookie into that toothy maw and seeing if it likes cookies.

"Brother, this a horribly dangerous mutated creature that could kill us in an instant..."

"Your point? So was Larry, and now we are friends because Larry likes cookies. You aren't giving friendship a chance."

"True and if I can tame a snail, I will be able to ride it into battle, majestically charging the enemies of the Hollow."

"Slowly charging."

"But still charging. Like my snail friend who wants a cookie." Ringtail took a cookie, and eyed the distance to the snail. His brother stepped back and crossed his fingers. The cookie sailed at the large hole and disappeared. The snail paused, then began waving it's tentacles, advancing. Ringo threw another, but this one hit a tentacle. The snail scooped it up and stuffed it into into its maw. He kept throwing cookies at the snail, which paused, content to be fed. Until no more cookies were forth coming, then it advanced again, the tentacles flushing and the shell changed color to a bright orange.

Tweedle made an observation based on the obvious, "Your lack of cookies has upset it."

"So I see. We should write a book about this: If you feed a snail a cookie..."

"What?"

"Dunno, far as I got. My, he looks angry."

Both scouts knew when to scamper away. Years of getting into trouble and fleeing had given them valuable skills. The flames that shot from the snail splashed harmlessly on the wall of a the cave, the brothers around a corner.

"We need to feed the snail."

"I'm out of cookies!!"

"I have these."

"OH MY! Those look like the small items that Professor Boom warned everyone about. I think he said 'Touch my shit and you get to play target for a cannon.' You were foolish, and I will miss you."

"I was not foolish. I stole these from Petey who stole them from Professor Boom."

"Wise, and you are protecting Petey. He will thank you later. But I notice these small explosive devices are not shaped like a cookie."

"I'm hoping the snail won't notice. Wish me luck, I am off to feed my once-pet and show it the error of its ways."

"Oh no. I will not miss this. What will people think? That one of us was smart?"

The snail saw them coming, but paused when it saw they each had something to throw....

Milo heard the explosion and ran to the front of the caravan, down the tunnel and into another cavern where he found two brave scouts smearing healing ointment on their burns and drinking potions. Both had lost over half the hair on their bodies. Further up was a small crater surrounded by burning bits of shell and parts of the snail.

Seeing that the two were alive and probably staying that way, he sat down and questioned them with a stern look.

"What did you do?"

Tweedle look at his brother. "Well, it started when we gave the snail a cookie, and ended when we gave the snail something that resembled an explosive device we found in Petey's jellybean bag. The snail got heartburn."

Milo got the full story out of them, questioning them on details. Finally, he patted them on their goo-smeared heads. "Excellent jobs, scoutmasters. You've found a way to deal with the snails we may encounter. I'll get more cookies and talk with Professor Boom."

"You are rewarding us with cookies!"

Milo grinned the grin they dreaded. "I'm rewarding you with another job." He walked away to brief everyone else about possible chaos. Ringtail sighed, "He is a good friend, but his rewards for jobs well done always suck."

"They do. Jelly Bean? We need all the healing we can get."