Ryan’s POV

When he had gone over to Vivian’s place, Ryan’s intention had been to fuck her into the mattress until he forgot all about his own problems, and for a little while that had worked. He had wrung orgasm after orgasm from her. Chasing his own even as he brought her pleasure.

But after all was said and done, and they had both been too tired to continue, Ryan’s vicious mind had begun attacking him. Assaulting him with thoughts of Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth.

Beating him up for ever daring to care deeply about such a woman. When Vivian had asked him what was wrong, Ryan had been too out of it to lie. So he had told her what was eating him up.

He had not really expected her to say anything profound. But to his shock, Vivian’s words had rung a bell deep within Ryan’s mind, and even now that he was back in his penthouse. Her words were still echoing around in his brain. Making a home for themselves there no matter how much he tried to ignore them.

"Perhaps her moving on is a sign that you should move on too,"

She had said it so easily. But the words had landed on Ryan as though they carried the weight of the whole world. 𝒻𝑟𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝑛𝘰𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝘤𝘰𝘮

Move on.

What a strange concept.

For the past four years, Ryan even though he had never admitted it to himself, had been punishing himself. Every one night stand, every fling, the revolving door of women. It had all been a way for him to remind himself that he did not deserve better. That a person like him was better off moving from woman to woman, instead of trying to find one to settle down with.

How could he dare try to look for happiness, when the one and only time he had given his heart to someone, that woman had turned out to be a cold blooded witch. Someone who had thought nothing of sleeping not only with Ryan, but also his younger brother as well.

When Ryan’s brother had died, a car accident claiming his life, the two of them had not been talking. With Ryan too angry to even look his younger brother in the eye. Too hurt, to even call him family. Thanks to Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth and her little game. Ryan’s brother had died while the two of them had been fighting.

His brother going over to the other side and leaving Ryan with anger and hate, that had nowhere else to go. He could have turned it all on Gwendolyn, but when he had tried. His pain sharpened into a blade made to cut her to the core. Gwendolyn had not reacted how someone with even a hint of guilt in their hearts would.

There had been no regret, no sign at all that she even felt a little bit bad for what had happened. Instead, she had seen Ryan hurting so bad and looking to lash out, and the woman had laughed in his face.

"Hate me all you want, but that will not change what happened. Your brother died knowing that you detested him. Will you continue to hold onto that hate, even after he is no longer here? Are you truly so cold, so uncaring," With those simple words, Gwendolyn had turned the blame on Ryan. Making him see all of the ways in which he himself had messed up.

His brother had slept with a woman that Ryan had thought he loved, betrayal of the highest order. But even with all of that, Ryan should have somehow seen into the future and realized how little time they had left together. He should have found it in himself to forgive his brother before it was too late.

But because he was not psychic, his brother had died with the last words that Ryan had ever said to him being an insult. And it was something that he’d thought he’d never be able to get over. And yet Vivian had brought up that possibility. Now it no longer seemed so impossible. If Gwendolyn, the one who had started this entire mess, could move on with her life to the point of not even being ashamed to stand in front of Ryan. Then maybe, just maybe, he could also begin to move on.

***

Ryan had no idea whether he would start actively taking Vivian’s words into consideration. But whether he was going to act them out or not, it felt as though they had dislodged something within him. After everything had gone down, Ryan, in a bid to try and protect the old man, had resolved to never let his grandfather know exactly what had gone on.

As a result, he had taken to avoiding the old man over the years, not wanting to accidentally let anything slip. But now, after the conversation with Vivian, he found himself staring at his grandfather’s phone number, wanting to reach out and call him.

In the past, they had been close. But after all of the years of him constantly ignoring his grandfather’s attempts to reach out. Ryan knew for a fact that the relationship was now strained. But even so, he found himself wanting to just call and ask how the old man was doing. It had been so long since he had done that.

In the end though, Ryan decided against it. He still was not certain how he was going to handle things and until he knew for certain, it would be unfair of him to involve his grandfather. Scrolling down his contact list, he found Vivian’s number. But instead of calling her, he found himself hesitating. He had already burdened her with far too much. Their relationship was no strings attached. The more he told her, the more strings he would be adding. Vivian had her own problems, she did not need him, adding to them. In the end, Ryan ended up calling Mark, inviting the other man over for a drink.