Rejected Beauty Practices the Villain Play

"You are not a fish, so how can you know the joy of a fish? In my childhood, I was weak and sickly. With half of Sannan blood, I was bullied, so I didn’t want to see people. Aunt thought I was inferior and timid, often teaching me to be tolerant, courteous, not to associate with the ignorant. One cannot decide their birth or bloodline, nor choose their parents, only accept their fate. In my impression, she was always happy and carefree. I never felt inferior to Zhixu for being illegitimate, nor did I resent my birth mother for being a concubine, because even as a concubine, she was happy her whole life. Father and mother were excellent people, never neglecting the two aunts, nor treating me and my brother harshly. I was raised by my grandfather, who treated me, Zhixu, and my brother equally. The Marquis Mansion is not what you imagine. Even as a princess in Sannan, she didn’t live as happily as in the Mansion. With a soft temperament, she wasn’t good at scheming, just wanted a place to shield her from the wind and rain, to grow flowers, plant trees, have someone to play cards with and live happily, she didn’t need the High Priest’s sympathy. Aunt chose to accompany mother, father, and Aunt Lan to death, fulfilling her many years of marriage and sisterhood. She never told me how happy her life was, without regrets." Xie Jue explained as best as he could, hoping the High Priest could let go.

Both the High Priest and the people of Sannan find it hard to let go of the fact that Sannan Princess became a concubine for the Marquis Zhenbei, feeling ashamed and humiliated. A princess of a country could be an empress for the Emperor Jianming back then, why be just a concubine? In Beining, concubines are servants, could be bought, sold, disposed of at will, their status humble.

The High Priest finds it even harder to let go!

Listening to Xie Jue’s words, his anger intensified, this was the first time Xie Jue felt the High Priest’s rage, "As a son, you actually think your birth mother as a concubine was not humiliated, the Marquis Zhenbei Mansion really educated you well, your heart is entirely with them, not with your mother!"

"If you are being unfair for my birth mother, it’s unnecessary. Mother indeed took great pains in educating me. When I was a child, I stayed with Aunt because of my weak body. In Beining, being raised by an aunt damages reputation and makes marriage difficult, so once I was slightly better, mother sent me to be educated under grandfather. Never did she mistreat me for being illegitimate. To me, mother and aunt are both my closest kin, none of us feel humiliated. You, an outsider, need not be indignant." Xie Jue’s tone was not polite either, the High Priest was so infuriated his face turned red.

Xie Jue lit incense, solemnly worshiping the Princess.

"My aunt is buried in Ningzhou, her memorial tablet has been moved to the Capital City, and after three years, her grave will be relocated, she will be with those she likes."

That sentence seemed to trigger the High Priest. His body trembled, unable to utter a word, lips pale with restraint, gritting his teeth, he said, "Your Highness, in your heart, she has always been an aunt, not your mother, right? You never cared about her joy, her past, whether she ever had marriage prospects, whether she willingly became a concubine."

"Is the past important?" Xie Jue admitted he didn’t have much communication with aunt growing up, due to his character, aside from Xie Zhang, he didn’t communicate much with others, "Aunt didn’t want to mention her past, she must have her reasons, the present and future are what’s important. Whether she ever had a loved one isn’t important at all. Her drifting to Beining shows Sannan was not her shelter, her hometown couldn’t hold her, so that bit of love is insignificant. Becoming a concubine was because her temperament is weak, unable to live independently, the Marquis Mansion was her shelter from the world. Father loved mother dearly, if not for offspring, there wouldn’t even be two aunts, nor me and my elder brother, this was known to us since we became sensible. How could aunt not know that what she sought from father was peace, not love."

He originally didn’t want to discuss family affairs with the High Priest, the more he spoke, the more painful it was, it was a pain hard to speak of, his greatest regret, if not compelled, he wouldn’t want to speak in detail with others. But he didn’t want father, mother to be talked about even after their deaths, didn’t want his family to be misunderstood.

"Fine, fine, being a concubine isn’t humiliating, you are of equal status to Xie Xun, then why did he ascend the throne as emperor, and not you? Your Highness is merely deceiving yourself!"

Xie Jue chuckled lightly, "You should have heard of Zhixu’s story of saving Yangzhou in Sannan. If it were me, I wouldn’t be able to do it, I lack such compassion and selflessness, nor do I have the virtue of self-sacrifice. I even hold grudges, wanting to settle both new and old scores. If I were emperor, I’d fear bloodshed in a moment of carelessness. Zhixu is the true emperor material, while I am destined to be his retreat. You need not regret for me, not everyone is suited for the throne."