Vengeance of The Broken Lycan Prince [BL]-Chapter 481: Come Back… Please, Come Back To Me

[KOSTA]

"I wanted to be a better person, my beautiful. Someone who you would be so proud to call yours. It was always that simple... until today. I swear, I never intended it to disappoint you, but I think I did," Kosta swallowed hard, his chest aching even more.

He could still recall the screams.

The way the pack had been annihilated because of him.

The way that Gabriel Grealor had fallen on his sword and failed to die, only for Kosta to slap his head off and chop him into little pieces before burning him to a crisp right beside his father dearest.

It was the harshest thing Kosta had done in years, and now he was never going to be able to see the best of the feedback on what he had done. It was like all of that had been for nothing, and nothing would ever hurt more than that hurt.

Hell, it still haunted him. 𝒇𝓻𝓮𝓮𝙬𝙚𝒃𝒏𝓸𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝓬𝓸𝒎

And they had had to do it, or so he believed still.

Something had to count.

Something had to give.

And if being a monster was the only way for him to save Tamiko, then he had no quarrels with that truth, because it was the only reminder that at least he was a living person.

That was all he cared about, and now he was waiting for Tamiko to come back.

"I wanted to let them live... the children, the woman, and even the elderly. I wanted to let them be free, but I couldn’t. The ultimatum... it still hovered. I had to eliminate them all for you, for us. I did what I thought was needed.

"Gods, I had to," Kosta said, his voice trembling as he got closer.

He didn’t care that his knee had started hurting; all he cared about was that Tamiko heard him. That Tamiko knew how desperate he was for the prince to bring me back to life.

He knew how he was praying and waiting for any sort of miracle to happen to both of them. He didn’t care that he would probably never get over what he had done.

All that mattered was Tamiko.

Just Tamiko.

Always, Tamiko.

"I kept my promise to burn them all. I avenged you, my beautiful. I killed them for you. eleven teras of rage...I ended it all for you. Because it was supposed to make you happy.

"To keep you safe, for everyone to make sure that you never have to fight the past again. It was supposed to make you safer, love," Kosta sighed defeatedly, his fingers hovering so close to Tamiko’s folded hands on the prince’s chest.

He wanted to touch him, just for a moment, but he couldn’t.

It was the haunting reminder of the state they were in, and Kosta hated it all.

He hated the way that things never seemed to be easy for them. The way that life never seemed to give them both a break, regardless of how hard they struggled to make things work.

This was the worst of things, and Kosta despised himself even more for that.

"Baby... it should have been enough, you know. Everything I did should have been worth it. The sins I committed today. Grealor dying. It should never have met the conditions of the ultimatum.

"But now...there is more, my beautiful. More than I can embrace with a sober mind, krushka. There is worse than what we have been fighting in silence," Kosta said, his tears finally beginning to show.

He was tired of holding them, because Tamiko couldn’t see his tears or feel his tears this time.

That wasn’t even supposed to be a consolation, but in times like these... in moments that scared the heck out of Kosta like there was something that had to give. If he didn’t cry out in silence, he would ruin everything.

He would find himself desperate enough that he would probably burn down the entire Kawai too, and that was something that he couldn’t live with even on a normal day.

Restraint was something that Kosta had gotten so damn used to practicing, and it was haunting him.

"I have never minded making my hands dirty or staining them with someone’s blood. I did it in Grealor, and I would gladly do it again. But krushka... this one is hard. I have to kill one more person, baby.

"The choice that isn’t a choice is what the ultimatum handed me. I can either kill you and save Nana... or kill Nana to save you," Kosta said tearfully, no longer holding back his sobs.

This was the hardest possible decision he had ever been left to make.

Tamiko was always good at strategies. He always knew what to do, and now Kosta was alone in a world that demanded worse from him, a world that didn’t care if he lost because clearly, he had to lose someone.

The universe was forging his hand, making his choice, and he was scared because for the first time, he didn’t know what it wanted him to choose.

If he chose Tamiko, he would lose his guardian.

If he chose his guardian, he would lose Tamiko. He would lose the love of his life. And now he had to choose between family and family. When the hell had such a choice ever been easy on anyone?

And why the fuck was Kosta the one faced with such a hard choice then?

What happened to forever?

What happened to happiness?

What happened to the gift of family, or was the family the gift that kept taking and taking and fucking taking?

Oh, but Kosta was frustrated. He hated that this was the life he had to live, and he despised himself even more for not being strong enough to make a choice. But was there really a choice for him?

"I can’t lose, baby. I can’t lose you, I will not. Not after I sacrificed children for us. Not after I went against everything that we received so you would survive it all.

"I killed children... little children who had nothing to do with the sins of the adults, all because of the ultimatum," Kosta let out a humorless chuckle, not to wipe his tears.

He was sick of everything.

"Maybe I really am a monster for that... for doing the one you always hated. For hurting children... but is it selfish that I still dare to pray you don’t see me as a monster when you wake up?

"Am I being too selfish by hoping you get to see me as the man you love and not the murderer of a kid? Is that ever going to be enough? Gods, I wish you would just wake up and tell me what to do.

"I don’t know what to do, baby, and the clock is ticking," Kosta added defeatedly.

He was terrified of what life would be like without Tamiko, so he had subconsciously made the choice to go after a guardian. He didn’t know how to live a life that had no Tamiko in it, so he was already preparing for contingencies.

It wasn’t the kindest of things.

It wasn’t the simplest of choices, and yet it was one that Kosta had to make for his Tamiko to wake up.

Maybe the Lycan Chief was really a selfish one for wanting Timiko to live and being ready to lose Yilena, but was it ever going to matter when the sun went down?

"After everything, we never really got to live, my beautiful. We haven’t... haven’t truly lived, baby... I really hope you can forgive me for all that I did when you wake up.

"And even if you don’t... just please... please wake up," Kosta said as he got up from the floor, his knees probably swollen from the way he had been there for too long.

He wanted to complain, but then his Tamiko wouldn’t kiss it better. He wasn’t even going to blow air on his knees to make him feel better.

Kosta was completely and utterly alone with a void that glared at him.

Gods, the weight of everything was overwhelming.

Maybe he needed to just do what he could and let everything be, right?

Hopelessly, Kosta got up and began leaving, even though his heart was hammering inside his chest. He was hopeful that Tamiko would stop him. That Tamiko would give him a sign, anything.

Yet when Kosta got to the door, there wasn’t a sign.

If anything, the moment the door closed behind him, Kosta was met with the mad king, wearing a stoic face. You would think that this was the man who was so damn close to losing his son.

But maybe that was the price for it all, right?

"Your majesty..."