Use Me Like A Drug (omegaverse bl)-Chapter 87: One more time

Yujun’s POV

He leaves the bathroom first and I follow after him, standing in the corner I was at before and mapping out my family’s position.

Yubin Noona is with her husband, the two of them are standing around awkwardly, smiling to sell the beauty of their loveless marriage.

Mother is showing a group of elegantly dressed half-drunk omega women her new pearl necklace, the one she got by begging her husband for days.

Father is by the wall having a meeting with a potential new client; he won’t notice my absence, none of them will.

Especially since no one is curious about me.

My eyes keep dashing to the door for good timing, I swore I would never do this again but here I am, sneaking out of a potential clan alliance meeting for ramyeon with my enemy.

I walk to the back of the building and find Jaehyun leaning against the wall with a lighter in his hand.

The air is cold tonight but something in me feels colder seeing him like this without his smile and playfulness.

I walk up to stand in front of him, and he raises his head to meet my eyes, "this is the last time I’m doing this" I say and he lifts his hand to push a strand of hair out of my face.

His touch feels warm and alive, but his countenance is the opposite.

"You don’t have to do this" he says and I sigh as a gush of wind messes up my hair even worse.

"You don’t have to..." he says and I hold his hand, "I want to, one last time" I say and put his hand down.

Conscious of our environment and potential danger.

This is our world...my world.

There is no space, no time to be you, every second you forget that is a count down to your own doom, a mistake that can cost you your entire life.

"Let’s go" Jaehyun says quietly and we walk to the car, his sleek black car that is parked away from the event building.

He sits and places his head against the wheel for a few seconds.

It amazes me how easy it is for him to be like this with me, to show me parts that are considered weaknesses in my world, parts that can cost you your entire life if you are not cautious enough.

"Why did you come if you’re hurting this much?" I ask him, unable to hold back the question, worried about him and worried for him.

"I told you..." he says with his head down and his voice low.

"I wanted to see you" he says and turns his head to look at me, his eyes are red rimmed, he looks exhausted.

No longer putting up an act of strength and confidence.

"But you didn’t come to me" I say and he sighs, "Yujun-ah" he calls my name, his voice painfully small. 𝕗𝐫𝐞𝕖𝕨𝐞𝗯𝚗𝕠𝘃𝐞𝚕.𝐜𝗼𝚖

"If I had called, would you have answered?" he asks and I open my mouth to give an answer but shut it when I think of it.

No.

I wouldn’t have answered, I would have kept my distance...my walls are still fresh and new but seeing him like this, in a way that shouldn’t be seen is enough to make me climb over it.

Even if it’s for a few moments.

Even if it’s for the last time.

’The last time?’ my heart asks and I turn my head to look outside the window.

"No, I wouldn’t have answered" I say and he sighs again, the sound that he makes whenever he is emotional.

"I know" he says, no grudge, no forced expectations...just Jaehyun.

He rolls up the tinted glasses of the window and ignites the engine, the car purrs to life and I lean into the seat.

The small space has the smell of the alpha clinging to it, soft and mild with a note of bitterness, it makes me wonder how long he had spent grieving in the car.

I look at his features as he drives; his face is blank and empty; his mouth is set in a straight line and his eyes fixed on the road.

To everyone else, he might look normal...the nonchalant and handsome prince Hwang but to me, me the person who has slept and woken up next to him many times before...I know this is abnormal.

My hands itch to touch, to soothe the frown out of his face, to whisper sweet promise and comfort him like an omega should but...I am a failed omega and a failed alpha.

I can’t protect him, and I can’t comfort him.

A whimper slips past my lips unintentionally and he looks at me briefly before returning his attention to the road in front of him.

"Are you okay?" he asks with worry and I almost groan in frustration.

Stop taking care of me when you’re the one bleeding!

Stop worrying about me when you’re the one who needs care!

Stop being this loving when you’re the one who deserves love the most.

Hwang Jaehyun, stop being...like this when we shouldn’t want each other like this.

"Shut up and drive" I mutter and his lips curl into a small smile, "yes Junnah" he says to me, still wearing the smile and it does something to me.

My omega prances in me with happiness, we made alpha smile, I blush from the happiness I feel from something so irrelevant.

"I need to stop and get some ramyeon" he says as he comes to a stop in front of a small convenience store.

"Wait, don’t open the door for anyone" he says and gets out of the car, I stay back watching him through the window as he shops with his sleeves folded.

He looks every bit handsome...every bit like mine and he looked out the glass door of the store, I know he doesn’t see me but my heart races from the sight of him.

How will I ever want to let go when he makes me feel this way without trying?