Use Me Like A Drug (omegaverse bl)-Chapter 147: See...
147
Yujun’s POV
The gold in his eyes had disappeared as quickly as if it was never there.
None of this makes sense, Sihyuk clearly fears him, Gawon calls him a god...but he’s sobbing?
’Don’t fall for it’ my omega says, but it’s hard not to...how can I not believe it when he and I clearly suffered the same thing.
"Yujun, other people have an alpha, but I don’t...I am the alpha" he says.
This new information terrifies me even; he’s saying that he’s less man than every man I’ve come across.
"I see the way you’re looking at me" he says with a small voice, almost like he’s retreating into his shell.
"I-" I start.
"Just like those people" he says softly, "your eyes say it all...you’re looking at me I’m a freak, a weirdo...an anomaly" he chuckles.
’You’re a mistake, a curse, a stain to my bloodline’ my own father’s words and the way he looks at me flashes through my mind...quietly yet loudly.
"Do you see it yet?" he asks me softly and I lift my head, I want to believe him...I really want to but my entire being is rejecting him.
"All I see is a man I don’t trust" I say with boldness even though my body is frozen on my bed.
’Run, Yujun, run’ my omega screams in my head but I don’t move, I need to get to the bottom of this.
"You’ll see, at the end of the day, I’m a good person" Chan says and tightens his arms around his legs.
"I’m just a hurt man" he says and I shake my head, I don’t give him a response this time, I don’t have anything to say.
"Yujun, my own parents couldn’t look at me"
’He killed his parents’ Gawon’s voice says in my head.
"They thought of me a beast" he whispers.
’With a scalpel’
A shiver runs down my spine as I remember the words, a part of me wants to ask about his parents whereabouts, but I know that I would only put myself in danger.
"Yujun, I tried killing myself with a scalpel when I was twelve, maybe I’ll be free but it didn’t work" he whispers and I frown.
What?
"A scalpel?" I ask.
"My parents work in the medical department, I thought if I performed a surgery on myself, I’ll be normal" he says and terror freezes my body.
Twelve years old...
"They took me to the hospital, and I liked it when they knocked me out...it felt nice to be where I hear nothing about how strange I am" he says.
He told me he hears voices...
"You’re crazy" I whisper.
"I’m not crazy, I just want to show you, it’s hard for me" he says with a pitiful look on his face, he looks eerily calm.
"Then if it’s hard for you, what does it have to do with me?" I hiss at him, not seeing any sense in anything he’s saying.
"You know how who discovers your secret matters?" he asks and I frown at him instead of giving an answer.
What is he driving at? What does any of it have to do with me?
"I got caught once" he says and my heart feels heavier all of sudden, "by my mate."
"You have a mate..." I say and he shuts his eyes.
"Had" he says and I blink at him, he turns to show me his neck, "Cho Yujin" he says the name and my back straightens.
What?
Why does her name sound so much like mine?
"She was pretty, she smart...she found out I was a born alpha and she...heard somethings that made her hate me" he says.
I remember when I was caught, the way fear coursed through my veins but then...it was Jaehyun who found me.
"She looked at me like I was beast...the lips that used to kiss me called me a monster" he frowns as he says it, like he’s remembering.
"It broke me..." he speaks like a man lost in his own thoughts.
"It broke you...what did you do?" I ask him.
"I broke her" he says with empty eyes.
Chan’s POV
Yujun flies out of the bed and I do same, ripping the IV needles out of my skin without feeling any pain.
"You heard something too, didn’t you?" I ask as I corner him, and he hisses at me with his eyes blue.
"Who told you things about me?" I ask again and he bears his teeth at me.
"Stay away from me" he growls with the fierceness of an alpha.
"I WILL NEVER HURT YOU!" I roar at him and run my fingers down my face.
"What did you do to those people?" he roars back me, and I heave a sigh before putting my hands down.
"They are supposed to love me" I say to him calmly, "I’m supposed to be loved, I am special" I say.
"What did you do?" he asks and pushes my chest, making me to stumble backwards, he’s as strong as she was.
My Yujin.
"My mother and father, they took me for surgery maybe something would be done about it...when I came back, I performed my own surgery on them" I say truthfully.
"Oh my..." Yujun says and place his hand over his mouth.
"Why? What’s wrong?" I ask him confusion, and he shakes his head, the smell of his stress is getting too much.
Yujin reacted this exact same way after finding out about my identity...right before she lost our baby.
"Yujun, you have to calm down" I whisper to him.
"Calm down? You killed your parents and- and" he stutters, his heart race is pounding in my ears, and I grab his shoulders to look into his eyes.
"Choi Yujun" I say to him in my alpha voice and he goes still.
"You don’t hate me" I say and he looks back at me with large emotionless eyes.
"You will go to the mansion and be good for me, do you understand?" I ask and his lips parts as he answer.
"I understand" he whispers.
"Good" I say and stroke his cheek; his scars are healing...perfect.
He’s getting prettier, in no time he’ll be round with his pup...he’ll need me, he’ll only need me, I’ll be all that he has.
He won’t leave me...right?
"Choi Yujun-ah, you will be better than Cho Yujin" I say and he nods.
His eyes are wide and fighting against my command but he nods anyways, that’s all that matters.
I won’t let him go the way Yujin left...No.
