Use Me Like A Drug (omegaverse bl)-Chapter 125: The stop and the start

Jaehyun’s POV

My eyes follow the slow roll of the ceiling fan.

The smell in the room is thick and heavy, charred patchouli, a whole burnt forest.

My heartbeat is too loud, racing with the rush of something I have always had control over; the urge to kill.

My vision is permanently stained red, even after my rut, everything is blood red.

My entire being is rebelling against me but I? I don’t give a fuck.

I stay face down on the cluttered bed.

I shouldn’t give a fuck anymore, I am trying my best not to, yet every day that passes feels harder than the last.

Yujun. Yujun. Yujun.

My body, my mind, my heart keeps chanting his name, saying it like it’s more precious than my life’s blood.

And it is...he is. He will always be.

The sound of the meeting bell travels through the whole place, but I don’t budge.

I’m here to hide.

Staying in Hongdae is hard, that small apartment carries too many memories that I am unwilling but trying to let go.

Memories of Yujun tending to me, memory of Yujun opening up to me...memories of Yujun giving in to me and the worst part, Yujun not choosing me.

I can’t stay there, alone and mocked by everything that saw me take the omega into my arms.

I packed my bags and moved back into the Hwangyeon clan home, the place that has been my shelter since that evening.

Fuck, I hate when my thoughts circles back to that particular memory.

That evening, the moment made itself the nail on the coffin to the rough game we were playing with our lives.

’Love’ 𝗳𝚛𝚎𝚎𝘄𝕖𝕓𝕟𝕠𝚟𝚎𝕝.𝗰𝕠𝐦

’He loved us’ my alpha says and I ignore him the same way he has been ignoring me.

The damn alpha had gone quiet and had gotten reserved since Yujun walked away from us, leaving me to bear the hurt alone. Motherfucker.

It’s not just my alpha that went silent, so many things also went silent since then, or maybe I’m the one who is slowly losing touch of reality and sense.

I let my hand drop from the edge of the bed, letting it dangle above the floor, with my nails lightly scratching the floor.

Small things like these keep me in touch with reality, sometimes I stare too long, and my brain supplies image of the whole Choi clan lying in pool of their own blood.

I swing my arm again to push away the thoughts, and the alarm sounds again.

I am not ready to move again.

I know what will happen if I do, moving too soon will cause the raw madness I have been forcing down to burst open and swallow everyone up.

It’s better silent, it’s better the way it’s all stopped.

The way everything has come to a stop since that evening at the party.

The evening, I watched the man I love smile for another, and the evening I chose to accept his rejection, I regret it now.

Every movement of it.

If I had grabbed Yujun and ran, all I have to do is sustain a number of wounds that won’t kill me.

I can die for Yujun, I would do anything for him...but it’s all gone out of my hands, and I’m here wanting to turn back time.

A knock on the door diverts my attention.

The door is pushed open and my father enters, he has a deep frown on his face, maybe disgusted at my state.

The pile of clothes on the bed, the stacked-up pillows, the collar...his eyes take them all in before he exhales.

"Get up, we have clan meeting" he says.

I don’t move at first.

"Son" he says and I turn to my side to look at him.

"Dad" I respond in the same tone.

"You have to get up" he says gently, voice gruff but his tone soft.

"I can’t control myself right now" I say to him, and he walks to me, he opens his hand for me to take.

"I will be there with you" he says and I take his hand to pull myself up, he doesn’t say anything else as he assists me in getting new clothes.

My father, the ruler, the lord...the lover.

He understands.

"You know about Yujun and I" I say as a statement, not a question, his action tells me just enough.

He gives me a pitiful look.

"Love is a funny thing, isn’t it?" he says and gives me a scent patch.

"Yes" I respond before applying the patch on my neck.

We both walk out and arrive at the deathly silent meeting room, the looks on their faces make me wonder what must have happened.

"Proceed" father says in a loud voice as he takes his seat.

"A pack member of ours-" elder Ki starts.

"She is no pack member of ours-" another member interrupts rudely

"She is a child of this pack" elder Ki argues.

"She is evil!" another member says and I lean back in my seat.

"Enough" father commands and gestures to Jisung Hyung to speak.

"Yoon Sehwa is dead. She died on Choi’s gate, there is no mark on her which suggests suicide but the method...is inhumane" Jisung hyung says with a straight face.

Yoon Sehwa is dead? She didn’t die that day at the uncompleted building?

’Finally’ my alpha howls in me in victory.

Too bad, I wanted to end her myself; make her pay for all the damage, torture for setting me on fire, for hurting my mother, for scaring Yunah...oh god.

Yunah.

I stand to my feet abruptly, "what is it?" father asks and I bow to him.

"Forgive me, my lord" I say and run out of the meeting room, all I can think of is the young omega.

She has no one to comfort her with Yujun gone from their family home.

I take a taxi that arrives early in front of Choi’s second home. At the gate a number of maids are standing around, talking and cleaning up blood.

"Yah" I call out and they all look up, a scream erupts as they see my red eyes and realizing who I am, they all scatter.

I growl deeply in my chest; watching as they run away like headless chickens, irritated by how there’s a young omega in there hurting and they are here talking and playing.

I clench my fist, waiting to see if they will come back to their senses and do what is right, but they don’t.

Instead, I see him.

Yujun.

"My omega" my alpha howls and I growl again, I’m not here for him...I don’t care about him.

The omega and the man next to him takes steps towards me and I keep my eyes on them, observing Yujun’s hand in the man’s.

Who is he?

They come closer and Yujun slips his hand out of the man’s crossing his arm across his chest, putting on a show of haughtiness.

Has he forgotten? I have unraveled him before; I know him beyond the act he’s wearing.

"Why are you here, Jaehyun-ssi?" he asks and my eyes automatically seek out his scent gland, a habit.

I frown as I realize, he doesn’t have a scent patch on, but he doesn’t smell like him, he smells like ocean.

The ocean smell swells like it’s being projected stronger and my eyes turn to the man next to him.

The man’s eyes are on me and he’s wearing a lazy smile.

The red of my vision spreads as with a raw roar, I lunge at the man, throwing him to the ground and sitting on him to land hard punches.

Yujun doesn’t smell like Jasmine...he smells like this motherfucker who keeps giving me a challenging look.

The satisfying crunching sound that follows two of my hits don’t feel enough, neither does the blood dripping from my fist...how dare him put his smell on what’s mine?

"Arrghh" he screams and holds his arms to protect himself.

"JAEHYUN!" Yujun’s scream snaps me out of it as the omega pushes me off the man’s body.

I watch with stabbing pains in my chest as Yujun kneels by the man’s side and glares up at me with angry eyes.

"ARE YOU MAD?" he yells at me.

"Why do I smell him on you?" I yell back at him; my eyes still red with rage.

"Maybe because I am pregnant and our pup needs an alpha’s scent" he says, his volume dropping with each word he says.

The words hit me hard in the chest, but my fucking brain can’t seem to decode.

Pregnant? Pup? Ours?

"What?" I whisper as the red that has been plaguing me for days slowly disappears.

My omega is...pregnant?