The Prince Wants to Assassinate Me Every Day-Chapter 1023 - 614: Clearing the Air (First Update)
Xiao Jinxing listened indifferently to An Ning’s words.
Perhaps there was a storm raging in his heart, but his face remained as calm and cold as dead water.
His voice was unusually cold as he said, "For the sake of Gu Xingchuan, you’re willing to submit to me, to confine yourself in this small harem, and abandon your freedom?!"
An Ning’s eyes reddened slightly.
Saying anything to Xiao Jinxing now was useless.
No matter what she said, he wouldn’t believe it.
"Why won’t you believe that I truly want to stay by your side?" An Ning asked him.
"Not trustworthy," Xiao Jinxing said directly.
Indeed.
She was not trustworthy.
Survived death, avoided him for five years, never intending to meet him.
Finally met, only to desperately want to leave again.
No one could possibly believe that she would willingly stay by his side.
"I am not trustworthy." Xiao Jinxing suddenly added.
An Ning looked at him.
A trace of surprise flashed in her eyes.
"What I once did to you is unforgivable. I chose the kingdom over you without hesitation. I also couldn’t possibly forgive Gu Xingchuan for you. You have no reason to willingly stay." Xiao Jinxing made himself clear.
He had thoroughly understood himself.
And didn’t want to force things anymore.
So he decided to let go.
"This time, I truly am willing," An Ning looked at Xiao Jinxing, her eyes full of determination.
"What if I still want to kill Gu Xingchuan? Would you still think this way?" Xiao Jinxing looked at her.
An Ning bit her lip.
She didn’t want Gu Xingchuan to die.
She wanted to leave a way out for Gu Xingchuan.
"An Ning, you don’t love me. You don’t need to wrong yourself." Xiao Jinxing looked at her, at the complex emotions in her eyes.
"I can try to love you." An Ning said slowly, word by word.
In making a promise.
Yes.
Deep down, she didn’t know what her feelings for Xiao Jinxing truly were.
She had never seriously thought about whether she truly loved him?!
The day Gu Xingchuan rebelled, she declared her love for Xiao Jinxing in front of everyone. She didn’t know if it was truly her inner feelings or just a ploy.
Now, looking at the man before her, she still couldn’t tell if it was more love or simply a matter of circumstance.
She was truly conflicted inside.
On one hand, she really didn’t want to love Xiao Jinxing, because she deeply loved someone else, someone she would never forget even if they were gone.
On the other hand, the things Xiao Jinxing had done to her in the past made it difficult for her to trust him wholeheartedly; when pressured by Gu Xingchuan, he still chose the kingdom. She understood his sense of duty to his country, and she knew that Xiao Jinxing believed Gu Xingchuan would never kill her, so he could unhesitatingly choose the kingdom. Still, being repeatedly abandoned by Xiao Jinxing hurt, no matter how strong her resolve.
She truly didn’t know if returning to the Imperial Palace was wholeheartedly to stay or simply to try and persuade Xiao Jinxing to spare Gu Xingchuan within her capabilities.
There were so many barriers between them that it was hard for her to have genuine feelings for Xiao Jinxing, or perhaps she didn’t dare to.
However, if she truly let go of the past, burying Fu Xingyi deeply in her heart so he would not appear again in her future, and turned Xiao Jinxing’s past malicious actions into the clouds of yesteryear, genuinely accepting his selfless role and responsibilities, then loving Xiao Jinxing wouldn’t be difficult at all.
"You won’t fall in love with me." Xiao Jinxing said with certainty.
An Ning was about to speak.
"Nor do I need it now." Xiao Jinxing said coldly.
An Ning’s heart suddenly ached.
So, he no longer loves her, does he?!
"In the face of the kingdom and society, I have tried many times; in the end, I still choose the kingdom. Wu Xufan once accused me, saying that sitting on this throne requires me to focus on the world and extinguish personal feelings. Now I realize Wu Xufan was indeed right. In this position, I should prioritize the nation, and personal affairs shouldn’t exist in the family of an emperor." Xiao Jinxing looked at An Ning, showing no restraint despite the emotions on her face.
"With my identity and status, it’s not impossible to protect Gu Xingchuan, but I won’t do it. To condone those who betray me is to encourage others to rebel against my regime. I cannot allow such a thing to repeat, nor do I want to cause more innocent casualties because of it." Xiao Jinxing, standing from a broader perspective, clearly told her that he would not save Gu Xingchuan.
An Ning’s emotions finally stirred. She tried hard to remain calm and said, "You can use the Bai Family to establish your authority. The Bai Family rebelled and colluded with enemies, a grave crime. You can make them pay a painful price for it. But Gu Xingchuan hasn’t done you any actual harm; no one died from his rebellion, it didn’t shake your kingdom in the slightest, and it caused no irremediable consequences. Even if you let him go, and the Gu Family, they have no power in the court. Even if he wanted a comeback, it’s impossible. Keeping him poses no threat to you."
Xiao Jinxing looked at An Ning.
Seeing her clearly anxious.
He said, "In the end, you still care for Gu Xingchuan."
An Ning bit her lip and said candidly, "Yes, indeed for Gu Xingchuan. I don’t want our future relationship to be forever hindered by Gu Xingchuan’s death, becoming the only barrier between us. I’ve let go of everything you did to me and of the past with Fu Xingyi! I said I would try to love you, and I will wholeheartedly be with you, even if you only wish to be a good emperor and don’t want to invest too much emotionally, I’m willing to stay by your side, to assist you in a prosperous reign. As long as you spare Gu Xingchuan, I will walk with you, ruling over this land together."
"Don’t you want freedom anymore?" Xiao Jinxing asked her.
"What is freedom? True freedom comes from within, without constraints. If Gu Xingchuan dies, I will carry guilt all my life, living in regret forever. That is no freedom."
"An Ning, there are many things you can’t achieve." Xiao Jinxing said slowly, one word at a time, "There are many things even I can’t do."
"How can you be so sure we can’t achieve them if we never tried?!"
"Do you know what it truly means to be a good emperor?" Xiao Jinxing asked her. 𝕗𝚛𝚎𝚎𝐰𝗲𝗯𝗻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝕞
"It means spending a lifetime in the Imperial Palace, living for the people of the world."
"It means I must truly have three palaces and six courtyards, to propagate my lineage!"
