The Dreamer's Epilogue-Chapter 26: Nightmare

Chapter 26 – Nightmare

Emrys’s mind was submerged. The memories flooding through his mind were nothing grand.

All of them were related to mundane things, yet fragmented. Sometimes he would get the vision of something but cut abruptly, giving him a sense of incompleteness.

On their own, there was nothing harmful.

In fact, even now with their rather considerable numbers after killing so many lizards, the memories in themselves were not harmful to Emrys.

But that was only if one didn’t consider the consequences of having such a huge amount of memories that weren’t yours yet lived freely inside your mind.

Emrys was someone who had aspired to be a neurologist back on Earth, so he knew well what would happen at this rate.

’This is bad.’ Emrys thought, heart hammering in his chest, still kneeling on the ground.

He seemed to hear the faint, shy voice of Victoria calling him, but he didn’t deign to answer.

’I am who I am because of my memories, what if I obtain memories I didn’t ask for?’

Then undoubtedly, he would change. And the worst thing was that he would change in a way he would not even predict; not even recognize.

And who knows what having memories of beasts did to a human?

Fear began to knot the stomach of Emrys, causing his breathing to grow shallow, his chest constricting like a bloody fist.

There was something else in having too many memories he dreaded the most. And it was that he would forget some of them.

Just like {Mother} had said.

’What if I lost the memories of my father? My stepmother? My life on Earth? Océane?’

Then what would be left to him?

At that, Emrys shook his head, trying to wrestle back control from fear,

’Fear is poison, Em.’ He whispered inside himself, trying to focus strongly on the memories of his father, stepmother and Océane.

These were the things he didn’t want to forget. So he put all his mind into them, ingraining them deep into his psyche.

As long as he didn’t lose these...

’...I will be fine. I must be.’

Only now did Emrys realize why they said the line between a Gift and a Curse was as thin as fate’s thread.

He sighed, managing to calm himself after a moment. He felt a shadow overhead.

He raised his head, seeing the worried face of Victoria looming over him, her hound watching him coldly at her right.

At her sight, Emrys remembered how bloodily she fought the beasts, his eyes fixed on her bloodied nails with the skins of lizards still clinging to the edge.

Victoria seemed to notice his gaze, hiding her hands behind her back swiftly. Her face flushed red, embarrassed,

"I-I forgot to clean...I..I am sorry!" She bowed her head as if she had done a great sin.

But Emrys only felt goosebumps. The difference between this Victoria and the one in front of enemies was so stark it was frightening.

Taking control of himself, "No, it’s fine. It seems I was rude to stare so openly. I am sorry." He pushed himself up, his wounds making him wince in the process.

Victoria lifted her head back and nodded weakly. "It’s...it’s fine." The hound beside her growled at Emrys, annoyed at him making its mistress bow.

"At least," Emrys ignored the hound, looking around, "we fended off the lizards. And with that..."

His eyes settled on the fruits, bottles of water and strange herbs lying around. These were the contents that were inside the inventory of the lizards, something all had access to and would drop everything inside if the owner died.

"The tribe will now be able to eat." Emrys finished his words, a little bit relieved.

"But," Victoria frowned cutely, "It won’t...be enough for a week." She paused, then corrected, "b-barely two, maybe t-three."

"Aye." Emrys acknowledged.

All of this would only be able to help them eat today, if they fed all the members of the tribe.

Not enough for the whole duration of the tutorial.

However,

"Then we have no choice," Emrys said, recalling painfully some fragmented memories of the lizards, "we will have to gather food for the tribe ourselves."

"How?"

Emrys turned his head, watching how the Tistis tribesmen were already looting the corpses.

"We will discuss it with old bones later. For now..."

He left his words hanging, trusting Victoria to mend the rest. And she did, giving a small nod as they turned, walking back towards the door of the tribe, their bodies aching.

On the way, Emrys’s thoughts were still concerned about the aspect of his Gift he had just discovered.

Slowly, his Gift was unraveling itself to him.

And now if by killing he got the memories of the killed, then Emrys realized he could no longer do what he wished.

In a new reality where everything wished to transform him into someone he was not, Emrys was truly determined to stand firm.

At the beginning he wished to kill if there was no choice. But now...

’I will not kill. No, I need to find another way. I cannot lose myself in other memories. Father, stepmother, Océane...they will no longer recognize me in that case.’ He thought, clenching his fists tightly.

And to not be recognized by those you care was something he didn’t want to go through.

Emrys exhaled slowly, desperately needing something — someone — to calm his mind.

’I need to gather my thoughts. I need to sleep.’

But what if he got pulled into another dream?

He sighed wearily, as he reached Old Navy smoking in front of the door.

"Lad, you just got a bad dream, I suspect."

"I actually did. And I am still inside. Mind you, it’s not even my own."

"Then wake up, lad, no time for dream."

Tired and afraid, Emrys could no longer suppress the gnawing worry inside of him, "what if," he said, voice wavering, standing in front of old bones, "what if I cannot wake up from it?"

Old Navy stared at him for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly, "Embrace it and do not forget that it’s nothing but a dream, lad, I advise. You either like the dream and accept it; or you hate it and wake up from it. Just like all of us are trying to do. We are all in a nightmare, aren’t we, shy lass?"

Victoria nodded weakly, unsure, "...yes?"

Old Navy laughed, turned and walked inside with the silent Victoria,

"Now come, lad, the tutorial is not over. The nightmare is not over."

’And it will never be.’

Emrys’s feet didn’t budge for a couple of seconds. Then he forced his feet to move, dragging behind.

—End of Chapter 26—