The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 180: Overcompensation

The wolf took a step closer, his presence comforting, but Jessamyn shook her head. "I want to go home," she said. She choked on the words, the weight of her actions pressing down on her.

The wolf’s eyes softened with empathy, and he gently nudged her hand with his nose. The luminous glow around him now turned dull.

Jessamyn looked up, tears glistening in her eyes. "I’m sorry," she whispered, more to herself than to the wolf. She rushed to wear her shoes.

The wolf followed her, his walk not as majestic as before. Yet, he said nothing and waited for her to get on.

Jessamyn’s eyes clouded. It was as if a sudden doom descended on her heart, sinking her. She cried all the way back.

The return journey took longer. She was not holding onto the wolf tightly as she did before and maybe that was the reason the wolf moved slower, or it was her guilt weighing her down and as she expected the journey to end sooner, it stretched on.

Jessamyn’s heart felt heavy with each tear that fell, her guilt intensifying as the familiar sight of the Theodulf Castle loomed in the distance. The castle’s silhouette against the night sky seemed to judge her silently.

Whether she liked it or not, that was where she got together with Jerrick for the first time. That was where they were supposed to live their marital life.

As they drew closer to Ravensworth, Jessamyn’s sobs grew quieter, her tears drying up as she ran out of the strength to cry. The wolf’s pace was deliberately slow, each step measured and careful as if he understood her need for time to process her emotions.

When they finally arrived near her villa, the wolf stopped and gently nudged her to get off. Jessamyn slid off his back, her legs shaky and weak.

She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. The luminous glow that had once surrounded the wolf was now dim, a reflection of her own dimmed spirits.

"Thank you," she said, her voice barely a whisper. She didn’t know what else to say. Words seemed inadequate to express the mix of gratitude and regret swirling inside her.

"Who are you?" She almost asked, but held herself back. What would she do with that detail? She had done a terrible thing.

The wolf turned and disappeared into the shadows, leaving Jessamyn alone. That’s what she needed.

She stood there for a moment, her heart heavy and her mind racing. The night was still and silent, the earlier exhilaration a distant memory. Jessamyn took a deep breath, gathered her courage, and walked to the villa.

There he was, standing by the door—Jerrick.

"You went out for a walk now?" he asked, walking toward her in a hurry.

Jessamyn paused, her heart sinking even further at the sight of Jerrick. The worry etched on his face, the disheveled appearance, the robe hastily thrown on—it all spoke volumes about his concern for her.

She felt a pang of guilt so intense that it nearly took her breath away.

"Jerrick," she began, her voice trembling. "I..."

"You went out for a walk now?" he repeated, his tone filled with a mix of confusion and relief. He closed the distance between them quickly, his eyes scanning her for any sign of injury. "Are you okay?"

Jessamyn nodded, though her emotions were far from okay. "I’m fine," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I just... needed some air."

Jerrick let out a deep breath. "Is this about earlier... the kiss?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

Jessamyn couldn’t even face him. She bowed her head. She didn’t know the answer to the question. She wasn’t even sure why she was feeling that guilty.

Jerrick reached out, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. "You had me worried," he said, his voice tender. "I woke up and you weren’t here. I was about to look for you... Thank goodness, you’re here."

Tears welled up in Jessamyn’s eyes again, but she blinked them back, trying to keep her composure. "I’m sorry, Jerrick," she said, her voice cracking. "I didn’t mean to worry you. I just... I needed to clear my head."

Jerrick’s expression softened, and he pulled her into a hug. "Never mind," he murmured, his voice soothing. "I’m just glad you’re safe."

Jessamyn buried her face in his chest, the warmth of his embrace offering a small comfort. But the guilt still gnawed at her, a relentless reminder of the promise she had broken.

She got out of his hold. She didn’t deserve his comfort. "I’ll go to bed now," she said, looking at his neck for she lacked the courage to face him.

Jerrick took a side step, giving her way to walk and she dashed in quickly to her room and closed the door.

She looked at the hem of her dress and her shoes that still had the sand sticking to them. She quickly changed and rolled them all to the side. She hoped Jerrick didn’t notice it.

She went to bed and cried herself to sleep. When she woke up, it was almost noon. She walked out of the room and smelled food in the house. There was freshly prepared lunch on the table.

She looked for Jerrick but couldn’t find him.

She choked once again. She didn’t want to cry in front of him though. He probably was somewhere near. She didn’t know how to explain this to him.

After eating, she could get her composure back. She saw a folded letter on the table and it was Jerrick asking her if they could go to the Beaumont Castle for dinner.

Jessamyn’s eyes clouded once more. Jerrick was doing it for the sake of her brother. Rumors might spread if they didn’t visit Ethan and Jerrick should have thought about it.

It broke her further.

That evening went spectacularly well. She spent some quality time with Ethan. She also met with Silvia. She seemed to be a nice lady. Jessamyn liked her.

"We can return to Roche tomorrow," Jessamyn said on their way home.

"You are ready?" Jerrick asked.

Jessamyn nodded, still unable to look at him in the face.

Jerrick noticed that something was wrong with her but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He tried to ask her but then she forced a smile. She was doing whatever he asked her to do which was weird as she was doing it enthusiastically.

He could only sigh.

They returned to Roche on the royal road. Jessamyn stayed silent throughout the journey. After their return, Jerrick was surprised to see the interest Jessamyn showed in their wedding preparations.

She was not actively making suggestions, but she was not half-hearted with her responses when she was consulted.