The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 162: Letting Go

Jessamyn was broken to see the chains around Joar’s legs. The joy she felt seeing him again drained away, replaced by overwhelming guilt and despair. She had never imagined she was the one hurting him even after his death. She didn’t understand how her desire for his presence, her need for someone to listen to her sorrows, could cause him so much pain.

"I didn’t know," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I didn’t know I was hurting you."

Joar’s form flickered, his expression filled with a mix of sorrow and understanding. "I know, Jasmine. You didn’t mean to. Your love for me is strong, but it has bound me here, preventing me from finding peace."

Jessamyn’s tears flowed freely, her heart aching with the realization of what she had done. "All you did was love me, and all I offered you was hurt and unrest. How can I ever make this right?"

Joar’s spectral hands reached her cheeks. Although she couldn’t feel the warmth, Jessamyn leaned, tears rolling from her cheeks. It was torture for her to be able to see him but not feel him.

"Oh... My Darling Jessamyn... Your love keeps me chained here and my love keeps me from breaking it... We both know we have to let go..." Joar knelt beside her, his spectral form shimmering with a gentle light. "Let me go, Jasmine. Find the strength within yourself to live fully and happily. That is how you can honor our love and free both of us."

"You want to leave me..." she said, her voice hitching in her throat.

"I want to rest, Jessamyn..."

Jessamyn nodded, her tears freely falling. She understood the difference.

Just like her, he too was enduring pain every time he watched her in pain. His suffering must have been substantially worse, being unable to do anything to help her. That was the worst thing she could let happen to the man who had loved her with his everything.

Every time he found something that hurt her, the first thing he did was to remove that thing away from her so that she wouldn’t hurt anymore. He showed his love with his actions. Now, he must have felt tied, unable to do anything. He didn’t deserve that suffering even after his death. She needed to let him go.

As she made that decision, she could see the shackles around his legs growing weaker. It was shocking to view the inexplainable power she held, but rather than that, she focused on him.

She only had little time left with him.

"Our son..." Jessamyn said, wiping the tears off her face.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but the truth was blaring in her face. Deep in her heart, she knew she should allow Joar to rest. That was the biggest gift she could give him.

"I’ll watch over him once I cross over..." Joar said, leaning closer to her, seeing the little clarity on her face.

Jessamyn nodded, taking a deep breath. "Thank you, Joar. For everything. For loving me, for giving me strength. I promise I will try to live fully. I will find happiness, for both of us, for the love we shared."

Joar’s form shimmered, a serene smile gracing his face. "That’s all I ever wanted, Jasmine. To see you happy."

Jessamyn could see the shackles around his legs melting into the air. Without blinking she looked at Joar, hoping to memorize his form once more. He might have felt this tether untying too. His smile widened.

"Find me first in my next life, Joar... I don’t want to love anyone else. I’ll wait for you..." She said, trying to hold his dissolving form hoping she could feel his warmth at least a little.

Joar’s smile faded for a second before he smiled again.

"It’s a promise then," he said softly. "I’ll find you, Jasmine, no matter where or when."

Jessamyn’s heart ached with a bittersweet joy. The shackles around Joar’s legs continued to dissolve, and his form grew more radiant as if a great weight had been lifted. She watched every detail of his face, committing it to memory, knowing this was their final farewell in this life.

"Goodbye, my love," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Until we meet again."

"Goodbye, Jasmine," Joar replied, his voice barely a whisper as his form faded into the night. "Live well. Be happy."

And then he was gone, leaving behind a gentle warmth that filled Jessamyn’s heart. Jessamyn clenched her hands together over her chest, with her eyes closed for a moment, at the spot where he had been, feeling both an overwhelming sorrow and a profound peace.

Something snapped inside her, tearing away what was left of her heart into shreds—a pain so unbearable, a pain she was accustomed to—the pain she usually had when she was with Jerrick.

"Ahhhh!" she screamed from the top of her lungs.

Jessamyn’s scream echoed through the night, filled with raw anguish and despair. The pain tearing through her soul was more than she could bear, a deep, unhealable wound that left her feeling shattered and lost.

She collapsed to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. It was as if the very essence of her being was being ripped apart, the agony of losing Joar again, this time forever, too much to endure.

Once again, tears freely flowed from her eyes unable to bear the pain. It was as if something went through her soul and the hurt felt unbearable and unhealable.

-----

Jerrick sat by the window, his eyes fixed on the distant grave. It felt like an eternity since he had seen her. Impatience gnawed at him, and he almost went to her, but he restrained himself, kneading his knees as he tried to remain calm.

The air shifted suddenly, and he turned to see Joar’s form beside him, looking desolate, his eyes lingering in the direction of the grave. Jerrick’s heart clenched with a whirlwind of emotions, jealousy among them.

"I am not letting you near her in the next life," Jerrick said, attempting to draw Joar’s attention.

"Next life..." Joar’s voice was barely a whisper, his eyes still locked on the window.

Jerrick furrowed his brows at the despair in Joar’s tone as if he had no hope for another lifetime. Then it struck him.

Joar could speak to Jessamyn in this life only because he had forfeited his chance with her in the next. The spell that allowed this reunion demanded a price of equal value. Joar had given up his future with Jessamyn for a fleeting moment in this life, all so she could find happiness now.

Joar had sacrificed eternity for a final goodbye, a testament to the depth of his love.

"Hector, you..." Jerrick stood up, his heart racing realizing the sacrifice he had made. "Who? Who taught you that spell?" Jerrick asked.

This wasn’t an ordinary spell. Only someone who had access to the Theodulf collections or the royal collections of spells would have known the existence of this spell.

Joar’s form started to disintegrate.

"Wait... Tell me who it is. Is it that old seer?" Jerrick asked.