The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 105: A Little Independence

Jerrick was beyond delighted to see the breakfast Jessamyn had brought for him. He wanted to stand on the rooftops and shout to the world that his Songbird had cooked for him, but he controlled himself.

"Does it taste alright?" Jessamyn asked, noticing his silence. Although he seemed to be savoring the food, he was not saying anything.

Jerrick nodded, his heart too full to speak. He was so overjoyed he could barely taste the food, but he knew it would be delicious. Anything she touched turned out the best.

Seeing Jerrick’s delight, Jessamyn felt pleased. There was something joyous to see someone enjoying the food she cooked.

"I wonder if Isadora had breakfast..." she mused, hoping to steer the conversation towards Isadora. She wanted to check on her and hear her ramble. Isadora was new to the capital city and she never stayed in taverns alone before.

She hoped that Isadora’s first night in the capital had been uneventful, free from the troubles that so often plagued newcomers.

Bernard was there with her, but that was more concerning than anything.

"I should go see her," Jessamyn said suddenly, standing up. "I’ll feel better once I know she’s had something to eat."

Being in this big mansion alone with Jerrick made her feel uneasy. She feared she might grow impatient and jump at him.

"I’ll bring you," Jerrick suggested.

Jessamyn agreed. They were far away from the city center and she would need a carriage to get there. She didn’t mind Jerrick’s company. She also needed one another thing.

"Can you please give me back my money pouch?" she asked. She barely had enough to buy mangoes the day before.

She had enough to sustain herself for the rest of her life thanks to the money Joar hid in the Jasmine Villa and the money she raised working for the Council. She could get it once she returned to the Jasmine Villa.

He was not taking her there either but she could wait. But she needed money to spend.

Jerrick sighed.

"I carry your betrothal gift. We are engaged to be married. I gave you my word that I am not going to run away. Give me my money pouch," she said, thinking that Jerrick’s hesitation stemmed from that. She tried to be calm and reasonable as she had a better chance that way.

She decided to wear the brooch he had gifted her yesterday—it was likely an engagement gift and seemed important. Embracing her role as his fiancée was crucial now. Word of the previous day’s ceremony had undoubtedly spread far and wide.

She needed to act appropriately, showing that she fully accepted her new status. To do otherwise would be seen as demeaning the engagement and her future position as archduchess. People would talk, assuming she thought the role was beneath her. She couldn’t afford to let them conclude that.

She was determined to carry herself with the dignity and grace the position demanded, at the same time, she wanted to be independent, at least a little.

She wanted him to meet her halfway. She wanted respect. Titles and wealth attached to his name meant little to her. What she craved was dignity and to be treated as a true partner in private.

She didn’t want to spend his money because he never made her feel like it belonged to her as well. However, if he chose to spend it for her, she would accept it. It wouldn’t bring her joy, but she would accept it nonetheless.

A marriage needed compromise—on both sides. She was willing to do her part. But was he?

"I know you won’t. It won’t be fruitful," Jerrick said, his green eyes landing domineeringly on her face.

Jessamyn wanted to roll her eyes. Again, rather than talking to her like an equal, he tried to control her.

"There is no need for you to carry money. Charge your expenses to Theodulf Castle, and my staff will settle everything." Jerrick said, his eyes distant as it focused on her.

She flared at his words, feeling the familiar frustration rise within her. "I don’t want to be a burden or dependent on you for everything. I want to be able to manage on my own, at least a little."

Jerrick’s expression softened slightly, but his resolve remained. "It’s not about being a burden. It’s about trust and partnership. I want you to feel secure with me. You are going to be my wife."

She looked down, conflicted. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate his intentions—she did. But there was a part of her that longed for the independence she once had, even if it had its own challenges.

It was a patriarchal society and it was hard for women to hold on to anything of their own. Her husband was so gracious and foresighted, he left her with enough. She was used to enjoying the independence of her status as a widow, it was hard for her to get back into the authority of a man again.

He talked about trust. She had little trust in him. With him explicitly stating that he held no love for her in his heart, how did he expect her to feel secure with him? She would understand his insecurity with her for that same reason.

But he’d rather skip talking about that important issue and talk about being secure. How could someone feel secure with the other if there was no love or understanding between them?

She was not willing to put her faith on him when he never gave her a reason to.

"You do not trust me even a little bit, do you?" Jerrick asked.

Jessamyn stared at him blankly, leaving her silence to be the answer.

He must have understood it. As morning light filtered through the leaves, casting an ethereal painting upon his face, she noticed his lips forming a frown.

Yes, it was sad. But it was the truth also.

"I just need a little bit, for my own peace of mind," she said quietly, her voice almost a whisper.

She anticipated he might flip the table in anger due to her persistence, but all she heard from his side was a weary sigh.

Jerrick understood that she was still not trusting him. He empathized with her perspective. He recognized that merely showering her with expensive gifts wouldn’t alter her convictions. He needed to do better.

He remembered Joar’s words too. Right now, he was trying to control her. She wouldn’t appreciate that.

Jerrick reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, leather pouch, placing it gently on the table. "Take it, Jessamyn. But remember, you don’t have to do everything alone anymore..."

Jessamyn’s eyes widened with surprise. He was returning her pouch, the one he had kept in his pockets all this time for some mysterious reason. She had no complaints; he was giving back her pouch.

She reached out her hand to get the pouch on the table when Jerrick’s hand covered the pouch.

Jessamyn sighed in exasperation. 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

"I’m here, Jessamyn, and I’ll always be here."