Tangled Hearts - The Alpha's Baby Mama-Chapter 231: The visitation ban...

Selene POV

I bit the insides of my mouth trying to fight the tears that settled in my eyelids.

I have to be strong... I can’t be broken... it’ll affect everyone else and that’s a luxury I didn’t have right now.

Xavier’s face paled. Slowly, he reached for my hands, his eyes searching my face. "Tell me the truth, Selene. Tell me not just as Xavier but as the man whom you once loved and the father of your children. I know you much better than you think Noah knows you and I can tell you for free that something is wrong. Please...".

"Xavier!" I sighed looking away trying to remove my hands but he held on firmly

"I care about you, Selene, I still do, regardless of everything else. We are not enemies and I told you I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you for all those years when I was stupid. I also care about the baby... because I’m going to be an uncle. I just want to help. Please...".

"And how would you do that?" I snapped with tears glistening in my eyes as I forcefully pulled away from him. "How would you help, Xavier?" I repeated with bitterness creeping into my voice. "You have no right to stand there and tell me that you care when you made it clear in the past that your priorities lie elsewhere,".

He flinched as if struck. "That’s not fair," he said. His voice was low and intense. "I’ve made mistakes, yes. Terrible one but I am trying to change. I’m sorry about not caring for the girls the way you want or require. I’m sorry that I am not like Noah who’s perfect in everything. Who knows how to get you in and out of the mood? I’m sorry, I am not like everyone else..." his eyes reddened. free𝑤ebnovel.com

"But I am trying, Selene. I just wish you could see me. You don’t do that... you always believe the worst of me, not matter how much I prove that I am trying and then you spend the better part of it, comparing me with everyone else. I am trying here... can’t you see? You think it was easy giving you away to my uncle... knowing that he touches you every night, kisses you... feels you... IT SHOULD BE ME!" he yelled. "It should be me... I am your fated mate,".

"And the moon goddess made a mistake with you because if this is how fated mates are..." I scoffed "I’d rather enter into an arranged marriage than do it again with you. And you’re changing for me..." I felt tear prick at the corners of my eyes. I blinked them away furiously.

"I want to believe you, Xavier but you must understand that you’re not doing me a favor. I want to believe you, to come to your level that you’ve changed but I’ve heard these promises before and each time, it ends the same way. That’s one of the reasons why I am going to make Noah the girls legal guardian because you’re a mess...".

"I know!" he shook his head rapidly "But this time it’s different. He reached out as if to take my hand before thinking better of it. "I know I have no right to ask for your trust. But please, Selene. Let me prove myself. Let me be there for you and the children – all of them,".

I looked at him, really looked at him. I saw the man I had fallen in love with all those years ago, the father of my girls. But I also saw the man who had broken my heart, who had chosen to act out our fates and chose his lust over me again and again.

"I don’t know if I can," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "I don’t know if I have the strength to risk doing it again. I don’t have time, Xavier," a tear rolled down my cheek. "The little time I have left, is precious to me, don’t you understand... I am trying to secure the future for my children because I might not be here one day... I can’t trust you to change or to become better than you are now. I’m sorry but I want to trust you, I just cannot. I’m sorry,".

"What do you mean by you don’t have time?" he asked drawing close to me "What the fuck is going on Selene? You’re talking like you’ll drop dead tomorrow?"

"YES!" I yelled "Everyone dies anyways. I might die tomorrow, like actually die tomorrow, Xavier... so forgive me if I’m not cuddling up to you. It’s not intentional,".

"What!" he mellowed staring at me "Stop saying such words, Selene. You’ll tear me apart if you die..." another tear rolled down his cheek. "I love you, whether or not you belong to another man, I still love you and I won’t hesitate to take you back if you ask,".

I took a deep breath "I love Noah, Xavier. He’s become the most important thing in my life nowadays aside my children,".

His face fell, but he nodded slowly. "I understand," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "But I want you to know that I’m here. Whatever you need, if you need a shoulder to cry on – I’m here. No strings attached, no expectations. Just... let me help. Please!"

I felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me. The weight of my secrets, my fears for the future and the complexity of my feeling, pressed down on me all at once.

"I need time," I said finally. "Time to think to sort thing out. Can you give me that?"

He nodded quickly. "Of course. Take all the time you need. I just need you to make me to be a part of the girls’ lives. That’s basically all I’m asking for and I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk,".

I managed a small, sad smile. "Thank you, Xavier,".

As if on cue, Noah reappeared, unable to stay away any longer making me wonder if he had followed us. He looked between us, his face etched with worry and curiosity.

"Is everything okay?" he asked tentatively.

I reached out to him, touching his arm. "Everything’s fine, sweetheart. Xavier and I were just talking,".

"Noah’s face lit up. "Does this mean...?"

"It means I might reconsider lifting the visitation ban I placed on his visiting the girls but these things take time and he’s agreed to give me that,".