Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan-Chapter 157: Beware of Man-Eating Bacteria

Ren had no idea when she fell asleep. But when she opened her eyes, she wasn’t looking at the night sky.

She was looking at a ceiling of shimmering limestone, dripping with stalactites that glittered like diamonds.

Ren blinked, disoriented.

She was in a cavern. But it wasn’t dark. The entire space was bathed in a soft, ethereal blue-green glow. Bioluminescent plants, looking like strings of glowing pearls, cascaded down the rock walls like living curtains.

Below the glowing vines, a large, natural pool steamed gently. The water was crystal clear, revealing a floor of smooth, white stones.

"It looks like a spa for fairies," Ren mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.

A hand suddenly appeared in her vision.

Ren crossed her eyes to focus on it. The hand was holding a bunch of bruised, dark green leaves.

She followed the arm up to see Vex’s smiling face hovering over her.

For a moment, Ren just stared at him. Her mind was a blank slate of static. Then, like a dam breaking, the memories of the night came crashing back—the pit, the mud, the rescue, the terrifying fight she had left behind.

Ren shot up into a sitting position.

"Whoa!" she gasped, her head spinning. She looked around frantically. "Where are we? How long was I out?"

"Relax, Little Rose," Vex soothed. "We are underground. Deep underground. No one can find us here."

Ren looked around again. The air was warm and humid, smelling of sulfur, wet stone, and sweet flowers. It was a stark contrast to the foul odor of the pit.

Ren immediately felt at peace. The warmth of the place, the aroma, the whole aesthetic of its peaceful, tranquil appearance was so therapeutic that her body did something it hadn’t done in a while... it relaxed. Her shoulders dropped three inches.

"You weren’t out long," Vex said, waving the leaves in her face again. "Though you need rest to recover. But I am happy you are awake."

He looked her up and down meaningfully.

"Because you need to wash that off."

Ren looked down at herself.

She winced.

The muck from the pit—that cocktail of mud, water, and animal waste—was drying rapidly on her skin. It had formed a tight, crusty shell that cracked every time she moved. She felt like a clay statue left out in the sun.

She still felt terrible—her head pounded and her throat was raw—but just being near the steam of the spring was helping clear her sinuses.

Vex offered the leaves once more.

"Eat," he commanded gently. "Chew and swallow."

[System: Analysis Complete. Item: Iron-Root and Ghost Mint. Properties: Highly effective antiviral, immune system booster, and fever reducer. Side effects: Tastes like despair.]

Ren took the herbs without argument. If the System said it would help, she would eat dirt at this point. 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝘦𝘸𝑒𝒷𝓃ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝒸ℴ𝘮

She shoved the leaves into her mouth and chewed.

"Urgh," Ren gagged.

Her face twisted into a knot. It tasted like she was chewing on a battery wrapped in bitter melon. Tears pricked her eyes as she forced herself to swallow the acrid pulp down her sore throat.

"Good girl," Vex praised, looking surprised she hadn’t fought him.

"I recognized the herbs," Ren lied. "I know they help with the flu."

Vex’s orange eyes traveled over her naked form. His gaze lingered on her chest for a second too long.

Ren crossed her arms over her chest instantly.

"Can you not be a pervert for once?" she snapped, her face reddening under the layer of dirt.

She knew he must have gotten an eyeful while she was unconscious. He had carried her here, after all. He had seen her naked more times than she was proud of. But him staring so intently at her made her feel extremely shy.

Vex wrinkled his nose, leaning back.

"It is hard to appreciate the view when the view smells like a fermented badger," Vex critiqued bluntly.

He lifted his own arm and sniffed his bicep.

"Ugh," he groaned. "And now I smell like it too. You are a smelly hazard, Little Rose."

"Hey!" Ren opened her mouth to argue that it wasn’t her fault she was thrown in a toilet.

But before she could speak, Vex’s hand went to his waist.

In one fluid motion, he undid his loincloth and let it drop to the limestone ground.

"EEEP!"

Ren released a small, high-pitched squeal. She slapped her hands over her eyes, her face burning so hot she felt like she might steam the water herself.

"Jesus Christ, Vex!" Ren shouted into her palms. "Do you people have no decency?! What is wrong with the inhabitants of this world?!"

Vex laughed, the sound echoing off the cavern walls.

"Why are you screaming?" he asked, genuinely amused.

"You could have warned me first!" Ren cried. "So I could at least look away!"

Vex sauntered past her toward the pool of steaming water.

"Why would I want you to look away?" he asked teasingly.

Splash.

He slid into the water with a contented sigh.

"You are a perverted fox!" Ren accused, peeking through her fingers to make sure he was submerged before lowering her hands.

Vex was leaning back against the edge of the pool, his arms spread wide on the rim. The water came up to his chest, hiding the rest.

He laughed again. "And you are a dirty female. Literally."

He splashed some water in her direction.

"Are you going to let that muck merge with your skin and become a permanent crustacean?" Vex asked. "Or are you going to come have a bath?"

"I am not bathing with you," Ren refused stubbornly. "I will wait until you are done."

Vex raised an eyebrow. "I won’t be done for a while. I have three tails to groom. That takes time. And I plan to soak until my fingers prune."

"I can be patient," Ren lied. "I’ll sit here and... meditate."

Vex hummed thoughtfully. "Are you sure?"

He tilted his head, his expression shifting from playful to deadly serious.

"You know..." Vex started casually, examining his fingernails. "I wouldn’t wait too long if I were you. The bacteria in this forest is... aggressive."

Ren froze. "What?"

"Oh, you didn’t know?" Vex looked at her with wide, innocent eyes. "The mud in the Tiger pits is filled with Muck-Mites."

Ren frowned. "Muck-Mites?"

"Yes," Vex nodded gravely. "Very little monsters. They love dirty skin. If you let the mud dry on you... well, they start to get hungry."

Ren felt an itch on her arm. She scratched it nervously. "You’re lying."

"Am I?" Vex shrugged. "It starts with an itch. Then, they begin to burrow. They eat away at the skin like maggots on a carcass. It is quite horrifying, actually. First, you feel a tingle, then you look down and—poof—your leg is just a clean, polished bone."

He said it so casually, like he was discussing the weather.

Ren stared at him.

She didn’t know if he was lying or not. But in a world where leaves were the size of cars and animals could turn into men... wasn’t it plausible that bacteria was also monstrous?

’If everything is massive in this world,’ Ren thought, her eyes dilating with terror, ’maybe the bacteria has teeth?’

She scratched her leg. It did itch. It itched a lot.

"I saw a bear once," Vex continued, lowering his voice to a whisper. "He fell in a pit and didn’t wash for an hour. When we found him... he was just a skeleton still screaming."

"STOP!" Ren shrieked.

She scrambled to her feet, flaking dried mud everywhere.

"That is enough! I get it!"

She rushed toward the water on wobbly legs, convinced she could feel a thousand tiny mouths nibbling at her dermis.

"I am coming in!" she yelled. "Move over, you jerk!"