Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad-Chapter 888 : Head Versus Heart

*Bianca*

Well, that went well. It was a pointless endeavor. Maybe it was not. It taught me a lesson. Maybe I should listen to my head instead of my heart. But, had it been my heart telling me to follow him? No, it had been my head.

If I had been using my head more often, my heart would not be so involved now. I would not be in love with a man I could not trust. Was it really love if I could not trust him? I did not know how to answer that question.

All I knew was that he’d gotten the drop on me, and I was sick at heart that he knew I did not trust him. maybe It was time for him to know. Maybe it was time for me to stop pretending with him and myself.

A part of me was so angry with him. I could not believe that he had seen me following him. I just wanted to know what was going on. I did not understand everything that was happening around me.

I wanted to trust him. I truly did, but I could not in good conscience overlook all the obvious signs that he was hiding something from me. It plagued me that I did not have faith in the person he said he was. It hurt me that I could not just let the kernels of doubt and suspicion go.

Leo swaggered in late, as usual. It just pissed me off more to see him walk in without a care in the world. That simple swagger he had put me off in that moment. Usually, I found it attractive and arousing. Now, I just wanted him not to have it. I wanted him to appear the business man he claimed to be.

I had sat there waiting for him to get home as if I were some damsel in distress or a needy housewife. It made me feel stupid. It made me feel weak. I stared at him. I wanted to spew all my doubts and anger at him, but somehow, I restrained myself.

After I drove by him, and he had let me know he’d seen me by stopping his vehicle and waving at me, the asshole, I had not texted or called him. He had not contacted me either. There was a part of me that felt like a mad woman.

Where in the hell had he been all morning? He certainly was not at his office like he said he would be. He hadn’t been at the gym. He hadn’t been anywhere near either place he used as excuses on a regular basis with me. As he sauntered closer to me, I simply glowered at him.

He sat down across from me at the table. I crossed my arms and glared. Although I had sat waiting for him, I didn’t really want to talk to him. seeing him. those dark eyes, that strong square jawline, and those sensuous full lips, made me want to go to him.

I wanted to touch him, kiss him. so, I looked away before I gave into my heart again. I needed to stop thinking with that organ and start thinking with my gray matter.

“Why do you feel you need to follow me when I haven’t lied to you?” he asked.

I didn’t appreciate the gentleness in his tone as if I were a fragile flower he had to coax instead of handle. I was not as delicate as he seemed to think. I had let him think I was. This was as much my fault as his.

I stared at him as if he lost his mind. What did he think my answer would be?

“Are you kidding me? I know you’re not telling me the truth. I can feel it in my gut.” I hissed at him, pressing one of my fists to my stomach as if to demonstrate where I felt his lies punching me.

“Well, your gut is wrong. I had breakfast with a client this morning that went long. Then, I had to go sign some paperwork when I caught you following me like some kind of stalker. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t recognize one of my own cars?”

“I didn’t really think about that when I decided to follow you. All I could think is that you were lying to me somehow and I wanted to figure out why and what it was about.”

I felt my conviction tremble. He looked so earnest. His eyes were steady on mine. He didn’t fidget or make any moves that telegraphed that he was lying. Was I wrong? Was he the one who should be pissed at me; instead, of the other way around?

“Sweetheart, I’m not lying to you. I just have some really big clients right now who need a personal touch. I’m trying to offer that, so that I can keep up morale and make sure they feel comfortable and confident in my skills to represent them. “It won’t be like this always, but I have to make sure I do my job, so that I can keep my clients and the business running.”

“I don’t know what to believe, Leo,” I said, confused again. I looked down at my fingers. I couldn’t look at him anymore. My gut roiled, and I still felt like there was something going on that I didn’t quite understand.

He walked around the table and came to me. He squatted beside my chair and clasped my hands in his.

“Sweetheart,” he said softly, gently pulling at my hands. I felt his eyes on me. “I promise you. I’m not lying. That’s all that’s going on right now.”

I looked into those dark eyes and still there was something mysterious about him. There was something there underneath the promise that I saw. It was the shadow of something, but I couldn’t quite figure it out. I wanted to believe him. I really did. I sat there looking into those intense eyes and told myself to just stop it. Shut up, Bianca, I silently admonished myself. He’s a good man.

“When will it be over?“ I asked, giving into the need to trust him.

“Hopefully, by the time you start school,” he said, still staring into my eyes.

I hoped that it would be over by then as well. I knew that I was still scared of giving all my trust to anyone. Maybe I was just being paranoid after Matteo again. That’s all it was.

Still, there was that niggling feeling underneath my skin that he was hiding something from me. Even now as I looked into his eyes, I saw the shadows. What did they mean?

“OK,“ I said, giving in to him as I always did.

He leaned forward and took my lips with his. It was hard to let go of the feeling of mistrust. It was always there in the back of my mind. Leo was hiding something. What was it? Who was it? Did I have anything to fear?

We kissed for a while. He continued to squat in front of me. His legs surrounded mine. His arms around my waist. My arms were around his neck. Our lips and tongues were tangled in a sensuous battle.

I knew that I loved him. I would probably always love him. I just didn’t know how to ditch this feeling of something not being quite right about him. But tonight, I had him in my arms and that would have to be enough.

That evening Leo and I spent a lot of time together. I supposed he wanted to make up for the time he usually either ran out on me or came in late most nights.

He said it was a client, and I could understand that. People were always trying to impede on others’ time without thinking of the people they had at home waiting on them.

“You’ve got to watch this movie with me,” I said, waving a popular chick flick at him.

He looked at the title of the movie and winced. “If I’m watching that, you’re watching an action flick,” he bargained.

“Oh, I don’t know. I think we should watch two girly movies. Don’t you think I deserve to pick both movies, hum?” 𝑓𝘳𝑒𝑒𝓌𝘦𝘣𝘯ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝑚

“Not really. I should get to pick one if I’m making the popcorn,” Leo continued to bargain as he coated a skillet with oil and actually put popcorn kernels in the heated pan.

I was fascinated. I had always seen people use the microwave for popcorn. I’d never seen it done like this.

“Okay, fine then, you get to choose a movie,” I acquiesced.

He grinned as he shook and lifted the pan to make the kernels heat and pop.

“You’re going to make a mess, aren’t you?” I asked in vain as I watched several pieces of popcorn pop out of the skillet onto the lovely marble floor. I laughed at the picture he made in his shirt sleeves and suit trousers. He was all dressed up and making popcorn.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked, pouring the first batch of popcorn into a large bowl and squeezing liquid butter and salt onto them.

“Oh, I don’t know. You need to change before you get butter all over those nice clothes of yours,” I reminded him, as I walked into the living room and cued up the DVD and put our drinks on coasters on the coffee table.

Leo must have looked down at himself and realized what I was talking about because I heard, “Well, shit,” being shouted from the kitchen as I went to the pantry and grabbed a bag of my favorite snacks.

“Saw the butter on your shirt, did you?” I asked, grinning over at him.

“Look at my pants. I look like I had an accident.”

I looked down at his trousers and burst into laughter. He had a spot on his pants right by his bulge. “Oh my,” I said, trying to get my laughter under control.

“You,” he hissed, coming closer to me, butter on his fingers.

“You stay away from me with that stuff. I’ll end up looking like you,” I said, still laughing too hard to out run him.

He caught me in his arms, and kissed me. He’d evidently been sampling the popcorn because I tasted the butter and salt on his lips.

“Um, you taste good,” I said, licking at his lips like a kitten laps up cream.

“So, do you,” he said, kissing me again.

“Go put on something else, and put this stuff in the bag for the cleaners.” I said, kissing him back between words.

“Let me finish the popcorn first. I’ve already gotten this dirty.”

It was humorous to hear him speaking in that husky tone about clothes.

“Let me go, before you get me all dirty too.”

“Oh, I want to get you all mussed up.”

“Don’t make me brain you with your own skillet.”

That made him laugh and kiss me hard and swift before going back to the stove and starting the second batch of popcorn.

That night, we enjoyed each other, laughing together and holding onto one another. I guess that’s what counts the most.

The rest could wait for another day. Tonight, we had one another to love and laugh with.

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