Stellar Transformation-Chapter 59 - 13 Emotions
When he shared the news that he had become an Innate Expert with his father, Qin Yu felt thrilled. He wanted his father’s approval, his father’s praise. Finally, he could let his father know that he wasn’t useless!
"No way!"
Upon hearing Qin De’s words, Qin Yu shuddered, his face turning deathly pale, and stared into Qin De’s eyes filled with disbelief and anger, "Why? Why not..." Qin Yu kept repeating, seemingly unable to accept Qin De’s response.
Qin Yu’s eyes were clouded with emotion. Since the age of eight, he had been striving relentlessly, training to his limits day and night without any fun like other children his age, without parental care, and without even a single peer as a companion.
Ten years of perseverance and a bit of luck had finally brought him his current strength.
Ten years of arduous cultivation, and yet Qin Yu had never complained. What was it all for?
Was it not to reach the Innate Realm, to help his father, to make his father happy, and to make his father proud of him?
"Father, didn’t you just say that reaching the Innate Realm would suffice? I’m now far beyond an ordinary Innate Expert. Even against those at the Innate Great Perfection Realm, I could still fight. Why, why won’t you let me go with you?" Qin Yu stared at his father, his eyes filled with anger and discontent.
The resentful and discontented look in Qin Yu’s eyes caused Qin De’s heart to tremble slightly.
"Yu’er, calm down," Qin De commanded sternly.
Qin Yu took a deep breath and said, "Okay, I’ll calm down. Father, tell me, what is the reason? If you can’t convince me, I won’t give up no matter what."
"Alright," Qin De immediately said, "Once I begin my Tribulation Crossing, I will choose a secluded location, and Uncle Feng will accompany me. Naturally, the news of my tribulation will be kept very secret. There are only two possibilities: one, if Xiang Guang and the others cannot find out about my tribulation, nobody will disturb me, which would be good. Your presence wouldn’t matter in that case. Two, if Xiang Guang finds out about my tribulation, and two Upper Immortals come, Yu’er, although your strength is commendable, the Immortals who have undergone the Four-nine Heavenly Tribulations and become Cultivators, their strength is beyond your imagination!"
Qin De sighed, "Even though it’s merely a Four-nine Heavenly Tribulations, the difference between an ordinary Innate Great Perfection Expert and a Cultivator is like heaven and earth. A simple Flying Sword attack from a Cultivator could easily decapitate you. Your presence would be useless and might lead you to an unwarranted death!"
"So... in both cases, your presence wouldn’t help, but it might instead lead to your death." Qin De looked at Qin Yu, "Yu’er, this is why I don’t want you to go!"
After listening, Qin Yu fell silent.
Yet, the silent Qin Yu emitted a turbulent aura. The stronger the soul, the more formidable the aura produced. Although inadvertently, the aura Qin Yu emitted at that moment was felt by everyone, and no one knew what Qin Yu was thinking right then.
"Little Yu." Qin Zheng and Qin Feng both looked towards their younger brother.
"Father, do you remember?" Qin Yu ignored his older brothers and continued on his own, "How caring you were before I turned six, often spending time with me. I was so happy and carefree. In my heart, Father was the wisest and mightiest. However, in the year I turned six, I was sent to Cloud Mist Villa." Qin Yu lowered his head, his voice somber, as if talking to himself and yet seeming to speak to Qin De.
Everyone fell silent.
"In Cloud Mist Villa, there was only me, a six-year-old child, and the rest were either servants or guards. No one to play with, I was all alone. I watched the sunrise, watched the sunset, hoping for the day when Father would come to see me. I don’t know how many times I was disappointed, but eventually, Father came, yet he left quickly, and then I continued to wait... But I did not see him again, not for two whole years, Father came to Cloud Mist Villa only once." Qin Yu continued slowly.
Those present thought of a six or seven-year-old child watching the sunrise and sunset, waiting for his father, and facing disappointment over and over.
Qin De’s lips moved slightly, but he did not say a word. He had nothing to say! Of his three sons, he felt the most guilt towards his third son, spending the least time with Qin Yu, showing the least care, and having the least presence.
"I kept thinking, why didn’t Father come to see me? Did I misbehave and anger Father, or was I too annoying? If there was something I didn’t do well, couldn’t Father tell me? I could have changed... But I am not stupid. Big Brother practices martial arts, and the second brother learns political matters, and Father often instructs them and visits them. I finally realized... Father must have thought I had no potential, so he neglected me," Qin Yu bit his lip, a glimmer in his eyes.
"After thinking it over, I decided to become a master through cultivation. However, my Dantian couldn’t store Inner Strength, so I could only practice Outer Strength. During the first year, teacher Zhao Yunxing instructed me, starting each day at dawn, with extreme training indeed surpassing physiological limits. Each time I was in extreme pain and fatigue, I felt I couldn’t continue, but as soon as I thought about making Father happy in the future, I would grit my teeth and persist..." Qin Yu spoke slowly.
Qin De’s eyes moistened.
"At sixteen, Father told me some secrets. I finally understood that Father didn’t stop loving me, but he had his own affairs and couldn’t spare time for me. Watching Father and my older brothers work hard for future important matters while I, also a descendant of the Qin Family, could do nothing but watch idly. That night, Father had said only if I reached the Innate Realm would I be allowed to lead troops into battle. Right then, I resolved to become an Innate Expert no matter what!"
Qin Yu’s face suddenly bore a slight smile, "Ten years, a full ten years, I finally succeeded. I had luck, and equally, I endured hardships, but regardless, I finally reached this realm!" Qin Yu suddenly raised his head, a fierce aura emanating from him, "Throughout history, people have said that Outer Strength has no future, that it absolutely cannot reach the Innate Realm, but I refused to believe it, I kept striving, and indeed, I finally did it!"
A hint of pride was visible on Qin Yu’s face; how could he not be proud as a mere eighteen-year-old that cultivated to a level comparable to an Innate Great Perfection Inner Strength Expert? And the path he cultivated was the universally recognized more difficult Outer Strength.
"An expert of Innate External Power, and now I have progressed much more since I just stepped into the Innate Realm, my strength has greatly increased. I want to tell this news to Father, because I believe, once Father knows I’m an Innate expert, he will treat me the same as Big Brother and Second Brother, considering me important, and I can finally be of help to Father." Qin Yu stared at Qin De, suddenly his face turned dismal, "Haha... I was wrong, terribly wrong!"
Qin Yu’s emotions suddenly surged, he shouted at Qin De, "Father, when I was weak, you didn’t need me, didn’t let me help, I don’t blame you, I gritted my teeth and worked hard, but now I have far surpassed ordinary Innate experts, reached such strength, and you still don’t let me help, still make me stay on the sidelines, watching you face dangers while I remain safe and sound, Father, do you think this is caring for me? No, not at all, it actually makes me feel heartbroken!"
"Haha, the nightly harsh cultivation, forgoing the joys of my peers, abandoning everything, fully investing in cultivation, ten years, haha, ten years! What was the point of my cultivation these ten years, what good is my current realm?" Tears uncontrollably streamed down Qin Yu’s face.
The goal, the goal of these ten years, now Qin Yu found that the most steadfast dedication in his heart was in vain, how sorrowful he felt.
"Father, I know how perilous the Four-nine Heavenly Tribulations are, once you fail in crossing the tribulation..." Qin Yu’s body trembled, he couldn’t imagine the enormity of the shock if his father were to die, "If you are no longer here, then what use was my ten years of perseverance? My cultivation, but it’s of no help at all. Regardless, Father, at least let me be of some use, then, even in death, I won’t have regrets."
"But... you give me no chance, not even a slight chance. You only say, I am of no use. Father, you have never given me a chance, why are you so sure I’m useless? Why, why?!" Qin Yu, with reddened eyes, shouted at Qin De with all his might.
Suddenly, Qin Yu let out a bitter laugh, "I know now, Father, your third son has always been useless in your eyes, right? Whether it’s anything, I’m always of no use, even if I cultivated to the Innate Realm, still useless. Useless in the past, and the same now, Father, I think, even if there’s a war in the future, being an Innate expert, I guess you still won’t value me much!"
Qin De had nothing to say.
Indeed, even if there were a great war in the future, where battles involve tens of thousands, an Innate expert has indeed little role to play in such a vast conflict, Qin De never really cared about the role Qin Yu would play in the future war.
Seeing Qin De’s expression, Qin Yu laughed.
"Haha... I’m the most useless, the absolute least useful one. No matter how hard I try, no matter how far I have trained, I am forever the most useless. Funny isn’t it? All these years, what was I cultivating for, what was my cultivation for, what use was my cultivation?"
Qin Yu laughed boisterously, but then began to cry silently, tears slowly streaming down.
Qin De watched Qin Yu in front of him, the third son he never really paid any attention to, suddenly felt an immense guilt and heartache, but when he opened his mouth, not a single word came out, he simply didn’t know what to say.
Indeed, in Qin De’s heart, Qin Yu really had no role in his plans, everything Qin Yu said was correct.
"I’m foolish, truly foolish." Qin Yu shook his head and bitter-smiled.
"Little Yu." Qin Zheng and Qin Feng were about to say something, but Qin Yu stopped them with a gesture, he took a deep breath, looked at Qin De, and calmly said, "Father, I’m sorry, I lost my composure." For the first time, the repressed emotions in his heart burst forth completely.
"Yu’er, Father..."
Seeing that Qin De wanted to say something, Qin Yu bitter-smiled, "Father, my mind is in turmoil right now, I need some quiet, don’t worry, Father, I won’t trouble you anymore, at least not before this Tribulation Crossing for a good half year." Qin Yu turned to Feng Yuzi, "Uncle Feng, could you help deactivate the surrounding restrictions please?" Feng Yuzi immediately released waves of True Essence Power, lifting the restrictions.
Qin Yu gave a long howl, and then a black lightning struck down from the sky.
Qin Yu, like lightning, left several afterimages, and had already mounted the ten-meter-high Black Hawk. Sitting on Black Hawk’s back, Qin Yu leaned slightly, embracing Black Hawk’s neck. All these years, Little Black had always accompanied Qin Yu, touching Little Black’s warm feathers calmed Qin Yu down.
Gently patting Little Black, he said, "Little Black, let’s go, back to Cloud Mist Villa." Sensing Qin Yu’s current sorrow, Little Black flapped its wings, a gust of wind arose, and the Black Hawk had already soared high into the sky, disappearing into the horizon in just moments.
Qin De’s face was extremely pale, looking as if he was a sick man, he gazed up at the sky, knowing Qin Yu had left and wouldn’t return for at least half a year, which might be his last half-year alive.
The words of Qin Yu, like daggers, etched deeply in his heart, yet Qin De knew, his son was in even more pain than him, Qin De, although in sorrow, felt even more overwhelming guilt. But could he, Qin De, still make amends in this lifetime?
