Sinner System-Chapter 587: Watch Over Me

Point-of-View: Ciel Campbell

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I let out a strained sigh as I dragged my feet into my bedroom and shut the door, before flopping onto the bed. I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling, feeling empty inside. What’s the point of anything anymore?

Today’s the 19th of January, 2171, around 2 PM, and I’d just gotten back home from the mass funeral held for all the victims of the last battle.

I thought...I thought it would be more painful, but through the whole thing, I just felt hollow.

I couldn’t help but wonder what the point was...it isn’t going to bring him back, nothing is. Rex is gone for good, and I’ll never see him again.

I’d been trying to avoid thinking about it, but today, at the funeral, I couldn’t take my mind off it...and now, it’s all I can think about.

And it hurts. It’s crushing me.

What do I do? What can I do? What’s the point in living if he isn’t with me?

Maybe...maybe I’d have been better off if I’d died in that Final Dungeon too.

I glanced at the wall with a bitter grimace, clenching my fists...he never bothered using doors, he’d always just phase through the walls.

When we first moved in together, that startled me more than a few times. But eventually, I got used to it...and now, I’ll never see it again.

He was always so incredibly lazy, which could be exasperating, but I also loved that about him...he was so cuddly and affectionate, though he never showed that side of him in public.

I loved that too...it made me feel special, that I was the only one who’d ever see that side of him.

And as lazy as he was, he was always there for me whenever I needed him. Even if he was exhausted, he’d set it aside if I was ever in a tight spot.

That made me feel really special too.

And I know that I must have been a pain to put up with, and even though he never tried to hide his exasperation whenever I got carried away, he never tried to change who I am.

Sure, he’d ask me to restrain myself in life or death situations, but he never rejected any part of me, he accepted me for who I am.

I...I really...I really, really loved that about him.

I loved him so much, and I still love him, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him, no matter how much time passes.

This...this is cruel. To be forced to live without him, for who knows how long?

My lifespan is going to be much, much longer than any normal person’s, I’ll live for hundreds of years, I’ll...I’ll continue suffering existence for several more lifetimes.

So...maybe it really would have been for the best if I’d died too. And maybe...maybe I should end it and be done with it...

Except...that’s the last thing he’d want. And more than that, he sacrificed himself to save me, it’s because of him that I’m still alive...and if I throw that away, I’ll make his sacrifice meaningless.

If I die, then he...he would have died for nothing. I can’t have that. There’s no way in hell I’d intentionally do something that would mean he died in vain.

A choked sob escaped my lips as my vision blurred, my eyes stinging as tears welled up, before trickling down the corners of my eyes.

The tears began streaming out profusely and uncontrollably as the dam broke, and before long, I was wailing like a baby, unable to stop.

It’s...it’s not fair, damn it!

He meant the world to me, how the hell am I supposed to keep living without him, huh?! It’s not fair!

I had so much to look forward to, so much that I wanted to do with him. And now, all those happy memories, everything I’ve been through with him, all of it hurts to think about.

It hurts so fucking much that I can’t stand it!

And yet...I have no choice but to live with it. To live with the pain and sorrow, to keep living and make the most of my life, so that his sacrifice was not in vain.

I...I have to work through this pain, I need to, for his sake. It won’t be easy, it’ll take time, a lot of time, but I can’t avoid it, I have to face it, all of it.

And then, I’ll live a life that I’ll be proud to tell him about...I don’t know what happens after death, whether there’s an afterlife or whatever, but if there is, and if I’ll get to see him again someday, then...then I want to be able to hold my head high when that time comes.

I sat up and ran my sleeve across my eyes, wiping my tears away with a sniffle, before smacking the sides of my face with my palms, letting out a determined huff.

I glanced to my left, to the bedside table, a framed picture of the two of us on it. I reached out and picked up the frame, a slight smile spreading out across my lips as I stared at it.

He looks so exasperated...I had to drag him to a studio to get this photo, it was on our one-year anniversary. He complained that it was too much trouble, that we should just take a selfie and print it out.

But I insisted, and he went along with it...he complained a lot, but didn’t really resist either.

I look so happy and cheerful...was this what he wanted to protect? If so, then...I’ll have to get this smile back.

"Rex...thank you, for everything. Watch over me...I bet it’ll be a pain, but I’m going to work hard, so keep an eye on me, okay? You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will love you always. And...goodbye," I whispered quietly, tracing my thumb over his face on the photo, a single tear dripping off my chin and onto the frame...