One Piece: Don't Worry, I'm a Doctor-Chapter 300: I Just Remembered Something Happy
Chapter 300: Chapter 300: I Just Remembered Something Happy
When Blackbeard heard those words and saw the setup, his dark, weathered face instantly scrunched up like a prune!
Oh no!
This was bad—really bad!
Was this guy seriously about to use a chainsaw to treat him?!
Blackbeard’s heart leapt into his throat.
Even though all his senses were heightened, he wasn’t panicking—yet.
So what if the pain was doubled?
A little anesthetic would fix that right up, wouldn’t it?
No big deal. frёewebnoѵēl.com
That was the least of his worries.
But if this guy was bringing out a chainsaw... the chances of him actually using anesthesia seemed very slim.
Blackbeard wasn’t stupid. If this guy was prioritizing efficiency enough to use a chainsaw, skipping anesthesia for the sake of speed made perfect sense...
Just then, Vir, standing in front of him, suddenly set the chainsaw down.
He looked at Blackbeard and explained, "First, we need to clean off the surface poison. Otherwise, it’ll keep seeping in."
Blackbeard nodded rapidly.
"Y-Yeah! Sure, no problem!"
Vir’s words gave Blackbeard a slight sense of relief.
’See? He’s still looking out for me!’
’That’s a good sign!’
’No way he’d skip the anesthesia, right?’
Then, he watched as Vir pulled out... a vacuum cleaner from the medical kit.
[Medical-Grade Vacuum Cleaner]
Function: High suction power, adjustable nozzles, multiple intensity settings. Made from specially treated metal, capable of handling most extreme conditions. Maximum suction strong enough to uproot trees—use with caution.
Price: 500,000
Review: Hmm... what’s this thing even for? Hard to say.
Blackbeard was still trying to process how a vacuum cleaner could possibly help remove surface poison when Vir finished adjusting the settings and walked over.
Without hesitation, Vir planted a foot on Blackbeard’s chest and pressed the fist-sized suction nozzle against his neck.
"Alright! Let’s start suckin’!"
Vir’s sunny, cheerful grin made Blackbeard blink in confusion.
’He’s... surprisingly gentle with patients.’
That was his last coherent thought before—
*FWOOOORP!*
Within 0.02 seconds of the suction activating, Blackbeard let out the loudest scream of his life.
"ZEEEHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!—!!!"
The sheer agony in that wail could bring tears to anyone’s eyes.
The pain was soul-rending, like his skull was about to split open!
It felt like his very spirit was being vacuumed out!
His eyes instantly flooded with bloodshot veins, his bulging eyeballs nearly popping out of their sockets!
His dark, wrinkled face contorted into a twisted mess, the veins on his forehead threatening to burst!
This was pure, unadulterated torture!
Since the nozzle was pressed against his throat, Blackbeard soon couldn’t even scream—just choke in silent agony.
His teeth clenched so hard that one of his molars shattered on the spot!
Vir watched his reaction, puzzled.
Was it really that painful?
All he did was turn it to max and suck off a layer of skin.
Sure, maybe a little blood and some tendons got pulled out too, but... was that worth such a dramatic reaction?
It was all poisoned tissue—it had to come off!
This is treatment, bro!
It’s all for your sake!
With that justification, Vir continued mercilessly, dragging the vacuum across Blackbeard’s entire body.
Each new patch ripped off brought waves of skin-peeling agony, making Blackbeard feel like he was ascending to heaven—through sheer pain.
His whole body was shaking uncontrollably.
His pupils were on the verge of breaking apart!
He was in such blinding pain it felt realer than real.
No exaggeration.
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve earned 700,000 negative points!]
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve earned 500,000 negative points!]
[Ding! Congratulations...]
Watching the Negative Points roll in, Vir nodded in satisfaction.
Good brother.
You’re killing it.
This was exactly what Vir wanted.
The Blackbeard Pirates, watching from the side, shuddered in horror.
Holy crap.
Thank goodness this guy wasn’t treating them.
Compared to this, being melted by Magellan’s poison sounded like a luxury!
Seeing their captain’s torment, the corrosive pain they were feeling now seemed like nothing—just a mild itch.
Totally bearable.
And since Blackbeard was in no state to retaliate, they seized the chance to mock him relentlessly.
"What’s wrong, Captain?! The doctor’s treating you—why aren’t you thanking him? Keeping your mouth shut—what, got bad breath or something?"
"Hah! Can’t handle a little cleaning? You’re shaking like a leaf!"
"Yeah, doc! Our captain’s got a ton of blackheads—make sure you focus on his face, don’t just suck his body!"
"Right, right! Suck out his bad breath too. That vacuum’s a freaking relic—sucking out bad breath should be a breeze."
Their grins were viciously wide.
You wanted treatment?
Then why aren’t you happy, huh?
Not a fan of joy?
You were laughing so loud earlier—what happened?
Forgot how to smile?
Hearing their suggestions, Vir nodded thoughtfully.
Might as well give it a try.
He stomped on Blackbeard’s neck, pressed the nozzle against his face, and—
*FWOORP!*
The excruciating pull on his facial muscles, the bone-deep torment—
Blackbeard hated those bastards with every fiber of his being.
And the biggest bastard of all was the one holding the vacuum!
But the pain left him no room to think—his brain was shutting down from sheer agony!
The vacuum scoured his face clean.
First, all his hair—gone in an instant.
Not a single strand remained, not even his nose hairs.
He was now bald enough to gain power after some sit-ups and a ten-kilometer run.
Even one of his big teeth got yanked out.
The pain made Blackbeard writhe in fresh agony.
And the negative points just kept pouring in.
This wasn’t just torture—this was a Negative Points goldmine!
The more suction, the bigger the payout!
Then—
*SQUELCH*
Something round plopped into the vacuum’s transparent collection chamber.
Vir blinked, then looked back at Blackbeard in shock.
"Whoops! My bad—I accidentally sucked out one of your eyeballs!"
He sounded apologetic, but Blackbeard lost it.
’ACCIDENTALLY?!’
’You rammed a fist-sized nozzle into my eye socket!’
’And when it wouldn’t fit, you used Armament Haki to crack my skull open!’
’THAT’S YOUR IDEA OF AN ACCIDENT?!’
’YOU MOTHERF—’
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve earned 400,000 negative points!]
Oh ho! Another payout!
The smile on Vir’s face grew wider.
As for the Blackbeard Pirates?
They were struggling not to burst into laughter.
Can’t hold it in...
Can’t hold it in at all.
I just remembered something happy...
?
My wife gave birth.
?
So did mine.
?
Wait wait—it’s not the same wife...
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