Nurturing the Hero to Avoid Death-Chapter 30.1

Alfred probably intends to hit me, I think.

However, Alfred only touches my face and wipes my eyes in a gentle manner before withdrawing his hand.

I wait and wait, but the punch doesn’t come.

Why?

“…Hey.”

“What?”

“Lian, do you really not care about me?”

I take a breath, doing my best to conceal my nervousness from him.

Come on. Say it, me.

This is probably the critical moment.

People often tell me that I’m a really terrible actor, but I’ve been acting as Lian for five years. That’s a very long time. To say some mean things to Alfred has already become easy for me.

I just have to respond with some very hateful remarks and an intolerable attitude. Just like how the real Lian would act.

I have to make Alfred… stunned and angry at me. Regard me as a self-centered scum. As the lowest of the low. I have to make him think, “I hate people like you.”

“Uh… That’s right. Who would care about you? I’m the son of this territory’s lord, while you’re just a poor, lowborn commoner. Did you really think that I like you? As if that will ever happen. I would never care about someone like you… From the very beginning, I… I’ve hated you!”

“Hate…”

“Yeah. I’ve always… hated you. I really… hate… people like you.”

That’s right.

So Alfred, come to hate me too.

“You really hate me?”

“Yes! I really hate you! I-I don’t want to see your face.”

“Hmm…”

“So c-can you leave? Hurry.”

“…What are you even saying? This is my room. Your room’s next door.”

“…Ah.”

I forgot.

“That’s… Yeah, you’re right. I’ve bothered you, huh! Well then, I’ll take my leave now. Hey, get off of me, will you?”

But Alfred doesn’t budge at all. He doesn’t let go of my wrist either. He just continues staring down at me. “Hey… do you not like me?”

He’s still asking that after I’ve already said so much?

Seriously.

“I-I already said I don’t like you! Just a while ago! I… I’ve always hated you very, very much!”

Alfred’s eyes narrow, and the corners of his lips curl up until he’s showing teeth.

Alfred’s grin makes him look exactly like a villain. He has that expression the antagonist usually makes the moment they’ve backed someone into a corner.

That should be my specialty, okay! Don’t steal it from me, you brat. It also really irritates me how he can still look so handsome with such an expression on his face.

Alfred brings his face closer to mine, that devilish expression still plastered on his face. “And that’s also a lie, huh?”

“What?”

“You said you’re a liar, right?”

“Huh…? Ah, y-yes! That’s right, I’m a liar, but… huh? But if that’s true, then what I just said would…”

…also be a lie, right?

Except it isn’t. It’s true that since I’m a liar, the things I say must be… lies. But! This time, I didn’t lie… Though strictly speaking, there’s some falsehood mixed in it, so… I guess that still counts as a lie?

Uhh…

Wait, now I’m kind of confused as to which is the lie and which isn’t.

My mind’s just filled with question marks. Unable to process everything that’s running through my mind, I freeze for a moment.

Alfred still has his gaze fixed on me. Seeing my blank expression seems to bring him happiness since he breaks into a smile. And a mischievous one at that.

“I see. So it’s really a lie, yeah?”

Then out of nowhere, he kisses me, slipping his tongue between my lips.

“Mmmphh?!”

He licks the insides of my mouth, not leaving any area untouched. After a while, he parts from my lips, though only by a slight distance.

I open my eyes, which I subconsciously closed in surprise. At that instant, I see Alfred’s deep blue orbs directed at me.

“Hey, can I touch you?” asks Al.

“Y-you can’t…”

“Okay.”

Despite my lack of agreement, Alfred still proceeds to unbutton my shirt.

“Can I hold you?” he asks again.

“What?! What are you saying? N-no—”

Then Alfred’s hands hold my sides before sliding toward my back and caressing my skin. The sudden burst of heat from his hands surprises me. Out of my control, I twitch.

“Ah.”

As if tracing my skin, Alfred slowly licks his way up from my chest to my neck.

He then licks my chin before releasing me for a moment to move to my cheek and my lips. When he’s done exploring, he gazes at me, our faces centimeters away from each other.

This guy sometimes acts like an animal. No, more like often actually.

“And that’s also a lie?”

It’s like having a big animal with golden fur see through me with his sharp gaze. I tremble, unable to look away.

For some reason, I feel suppressed, like all of my escape routes have been blocked.

“…Hey, Lian. You actually like me, don’t you?”

“Y-you’re wrong! I don’t like you. I… hate you.”

But despite my words, the smile on his face doesn’t falter.

I’m confused.

Here I am telling him how much I hate him. And for so many times too. So why hasn’t he gotten angry at me yet? Why won’t he hate me?

Just why?

He looks at me with a forgiving expression. Like I’m pitiable and helpless. Paired with a smile, it’s that same expression he makes when the kids under his care pick a quarrel with him.

I think and think, but I still can’t understand the reasoning behind Alfred’s actions and facial expressions. Because of it, my mind and body just… stop working.

Alfred strokes my cheeks, hands large and warm. “Lian, I… I like you. I like you so much that I don’t mind giving everything up for you. That’s how much I don’t want to lose you. How much I want to be with you. I wish you’ll never leave me. I promise to cherish you, okay? I’ll cherish you forever,” he says. “So if you tell me not to pry, then I won’t. Anything you request me to do, I’ll do it as long as it’s within my capabilities. It doesn’t matter what sort of task it is. Really. I vow to love you and only you forever. Can’t you also do the same? Can’t you promise to be with me forever?”

I feel like he just told me something really amazing.

However, my brain has decided that his words are too dangerous to process and digest. So I don’t look too deep into his words.

“Y-you…” I say as I squirm, waving my hands around in a fluster.

My actions just cause Alfred to deepen his smile. “I told you, didn’t I? I finally decided to come clean and let out everything I’ve wanted to say. You’re too dull after all.”

“Who are you calling ‘too dull?!’ I… I also told you that I’m a filthy liar, didn’t I? Even though I promised not to lie to you, I still keep doing it! I—”

Not looking the slightest bit disturbed, Alfred says, “You are by far the most serious guy I know. You wouldn’t lie without a reason. So I’m sure there must be some big reason stopping you from telling the truth under all costs. Maybe say, to hide something no one should know.”

“Oh!” I slightly flinch and avert my gaze for a split second.

It is then that I realize I made a huge mistake.

That reaction’s a no-no. A big no-no. Because that’s basically a silent admission that he’s right. I was too surprised and subconsciously reacted.

I’ve failed.

Alfred won’t overlook that.

Although he often seems unmotivated and irresponsible, he isn’t stupid.

On the contrary, he’s quite smart. And a fast thinker.

He also has very sharp senses and perception. He often notices things I don’t and manages to search in all the right places.

His specs are in a different league from mine. Which is expected from the future hero.

In fact, there have been many instances where I feel tired and scared of his sharpness. Because it’s so hard to escape his scrutiny.

And right now, there’s a good chance that he noticed my reaction. No, he definitely did. My reaction’s too weird for him not to. Worst case scenario, he’ll be convinced that what he said is right.

But Alfred doesn’t ask me any further questions.

He just keeps staring at me, lips pursed.

I grow upset. Why won’t he ask?

Even I think that what I did is quite suspicious. The usual reaction after seeing that is to at least ask what I’m hiding. But with Alfred…

For some reason, I feel like he intends to let me off without any further fuss. Is that just my imagination?

I angle my head and stare at his face with a questioning gaze, trying to search for his real intentions.

But Alfred still doesn’t ask me anything even though he must’ve noticed what I’m doing. He just tilts his head to the side and raises his eyebrows, smile still firmly in place.

Then he reaches out to wipe the corners of my eyes again.

What? Why do my eyes feel wet?

…No way. Am I crying again?

I don’t even know what’s going on with my body anymore. Even though it’s my body, it’s not listening to me at all. Tremors run through the back of my throat, and I don’t know how to make it stop. My eyes and nose grow hot and painful. My head hurts too.

I know that leaving this room is as simple as kicking Alfred, pushing him off of me, and running out of the door. But I find myself unable to muster any strength in any of my limbs.