My Servant System-Chapter 131 130: Contemplation

Jahi PoV

Watching as Anput's scarlet blood dripped onto Leone's blue lips, I dragged in a shaky breath, wondering if this would be enough...

After a few more moments, Leone sputtered to life, coughing out some blood before sitting up, her breathing haggard.

"W-What... hap-happened?"

She stared at me, before her crimson eyes went wide.

Reaching forwards hesitantly, I cupped her cheek gently, my vision blurring slightly.

"Y-You're okay..."

Feeling something wet travel down my cheek, I let out a confused grunt, reaching towards it, wiping away...

"H-Huh..?"

I...

Was crying?

Sniffling, I felt another tear drip from my eyes, and Leone reached up, clasping my hand.

"I... am, J-Jahi..."

Giving me a shaky smile, she turned towards Kat, who was breathing relatively evenly.

"S-So... is she..."

Anput nodded, resting her hand on my knee, giving me a small smile.

Blinking a few times, I stamped down on my emotions, clearing my head.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded to the two women before saying "Let's go..."

Leone staggered to her feet, Anput quickly moving to her side and supporting her.

The two glanced at one another in surprise, before chuckling.

However, my focus wasn't on them and their moment; instead, it was on...

"Kat..."

Muttering her name, I reached to lift her up, before stopping.

Was I...

Worthy of touching her..?

After all, it's my fault that she's..!

Biting my cheek again, the pain cleared my mind, and I growled in frustration.

I can go through that later; for now, we need to make our way home, or find somewhere safe to rest up...

Gently sliding my hands under her soft, yet battered body, I lifted Kat into my arms, flinching slightly as I watched her groan in pain.

Carefully laying her head against my chest, I stared down at the face of my unconscious wife, gritting my teeth as my heart clenched hard.

It hurt more seeing her like this than all the various cuts, scrapes, bruises, and tears around my body...

"Come on..."

My voice was hoarse and low, and my other two wives simply nodded, walking behind me as I lead us outside.

The entire time my eyes were on her face; I was unable to tear them away from her pale features...

I desperately pleaded to whoever would listen to let her be safe; to let her wake up and smile at me like she always did.

But at the same time, I was worried.

When she woke up, would she still stare at me with that gentle love that made her amber eyes feel so warm?

Or would they be filled with disappointment and distrust?

I swore constantly to her that I would never let her get hurt; that I would protect her from everything this world could even try to throw at her.

And yet, this is the third time I looking down at her unconscious form, unknowing of her current condition.

I failed her when we were children when she got kidnapped.

I failed her just a few days ago, when she collapsed from mana depletion.

I failed her again today by allowing her to be in harms way...

I just...

Keep failing to protect her; to keep the woman I've proclaimed over and over again as my wife safe.

And it's only been two years...

In two years, there have been two instances now where her life has been in danger, and both times I'm simply standing on the sidelines, hoping, praying, pleading for her to be safe.

Only to watch as someone else saves her for me.

Will she wake up and still love me?

Will she still stare at me with those same eyes, those eyes that let me know she loves me, that let me know she trusts me?

After I've betrayed her trust on three separate occasions?

Gritting my teeth hard, I felt something crack in my jaw, but I ignored it.

I need to get stronger...

Strong enough to protect her...

Strong enough to protect Anput...

Strong enough to protect Leone...

Because if I can't even protect them...

If I can't do that much...

Why should I even DARE to lay claim to them?

To say all those grandiose things, proclaiming my desire for a large family when I can't even KEEP THEM SAFE!?

.

..

...

Did...

Did I deserve them?

...

..

.

That one question hurt more than a million cuts.

My heart felt like someone was clenching on it, their hand covered in jagged glass that dug deep into me.

Do I deserve to have their trust?

Their love?

Do I deserve any of it?

When I can't even guarantee their safety?

Should I even..?

Growling softly, I stared down at Kat's face, everything washing away for a moment as I lost myself to her now peaceful features...

How her nostrils flared gently as she breathed in and out.

How her lips curled down in displeasure from the heat.

How she buried her face into my chest despite that.

For a moment I forgot everything as I stared at her.

She was mine.

No one elses; she belonged to me.

And yet, that moment passed by just as quickly as it occurred; I tore my gaze from her features as guilt flooded my system. 𝒇r𝙚𝙚𝓌𝙚𝑏𝗻𝑜𝘷𝗲𝘭.c૦𝑚

Leading our battered group through the quiet city, we exited the small cavern with ease, only to listen as the earth rumbled.

Turning, we watched the entrance collapse, before a wall of rock and debris blocked the way back into the city.

Now, there was no evidence of the city; that wall molded itself into the rest of Zhu'Rong Caverns, creating a sheer rock face.

Remaining quiet, I walked towards the exit, ignoring all the adventurers and eventually civilians that stared our way, treading the cobbled path with heavy steps.

Not once did I glance down at Kat as we walked.

I was afraid that if I did, the only thing I'd see was a pair of angry, disapproving amber eyes, blaming me for the pain and agony she had felt as Lord Pele almost choked the life from her.

Anput and Leone walked silently behind me, and their gazes on my back only made me feel worse.

~~~

Kat PoV

Agony flooded my body, making me groan as my eyes fluttered open.

My head ached, my ribs felt cracked, my arm and leg muscles felt torn, and my neck and cheek stung.

Blinking a few times, I glanced around the room, wondering where I was, before recognizing the familiar bed of our cottage.

Sleeping in a chair beside me was Leone, while Anput walked in a few moments later, holding a small tray.

Leone was bruised, her left cheek a deep blue while various cuts and scrapes marred her pale skin.

As for Anput, her body was a patchwork of cuts, the normally energetic Jackalkin shuffling around as she sighed, her ears drooping.

However, when she saw me trying to sit up she let out a surprised yelp, waking Leone up.

""Kat!""

The two women launched themselves towards me, making me groan as they wrapped their arms around me.

Hearing the pained groan I let out made the two women back away gingerly, staring at me with worry.

"Are you okay?!"

"Here, let me reapply..!"

Leone leaned forwards, placing her hand on my brow, while Anput took the small bowl from the tray, dipping her fingers into a thick paste and reaching towards me.

Chuckling, albeit painfully, under their administrations, I allowed the two to care for me for a moment, before furrowing my brow.

"W-Where... is Jahi..?"

Leone froze, while Anput flinched slightly before finishing her application.

"She's..."

"Well, she..."

Staring at one another, they gulped before looking away.

"Where?"

? I tried to get out of bed, panic rushing through my system as they avoided the question, only to be pushed into the soft mattress.

"Outside; she's outside, resting. Come on, let me place some more salve..."

Anput smiled gently at me, before unwinding the bandages on my body.

Slumping back into the various pillows, I allowed her to apply the salve, trying to sense if Jahi was nearby.

However, while I could normally get a sense of whether or not she was near, it felt like she was blocking my side of our bond...

Nothing was coming through; her location, her emotions, her love...

Nothing.

Biting my lip, I swallowed done some bile that rose, flinching slightly.

"S-Sorry..!"

Hearing Anput's worried voice, I smiled gently at her as I shook my head, saying "No, it wasn't you... Anyways, why salve?"

Leone sighed, nursing her left cheek as she said "None of us have much mana, and we rushed straight back here, so no potions. I'll be fine in a few hours, then I can heal the rest of us... sorry..."

Placing my hand over hers, I smiled at her as I said "You have nothing to apologize for..."

Biting her lip, Leone nodded, before getting up.

"I'll... go make us something to eat."

Watching as she walked out, I then turned to Anput as she muttered "You've been out for a few hours... The entire time, Leone was by your side, refusing to rest herself. And Jahi..."

Gritting her teeth, Anput took a shaky breath before staring at me, giving me a weak smile.

"Well, just rest; out of all of us, you took the most damage... Don't move; wait for Leone."

Finishing her application of salve, she bandaged my wounds before getting up, sighing before nodding to me.

After she left I sunk further into the bed, the silence growing to be deafening.

My heart ached more than my body, and I wanted nothing more than to go find Jahi.