My Scumbag System-Chapter 400: The Calamity Couple is Trending

The holographic news anchor’s smile could’ve stripped paint off a battleship.

Park Hyun-Jae sat at the Gate Break desk wearing his signature navy suit, his hands folded like he was about to deliver news of a natural disaster instead of what was clearly the juiciest gossip to hit the Hunter world in weeks.

"Good evening, Valoria. I’m Park Hyun-Jae, and if you’ve been living under a rock for the past twelve hours, allow me to catch you up on what is rapidly becoming the story of the academic year."

The screen behind him lit up with two images side by side.

On the left: Celeste Vance, official VHC promotional photo. Perfect posture, perfect lighting, perfect everything. The kind of image that made fourteen-year-olds want to become Hunters and corporations want to throw sponsorship money at her family. 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

On the right: Satori Nakano’s viral moment from the draft, mid-speech, his red hair wild and his expression carrying enough arrogance to fuel a small nation.

"Yesterday afternoon," Hyun-Jae continued, "what was supposed to be a routine C-Rank training Gate in Sector 7 transformed into a Black Gate scenario. For those unfamiliar, Black Gates have a survival rate of approximately eighteen percent for professional teams. For academy students? Well, let’s just say the VHC doesn’t publish those numbers for a reason."

Sterling Weaver leaned forward in his seat, his silver hair catching the studio lights. "Cut to the chase, Hyun-Jae. Who died?"

"No one, Sterling. That’s the remarkable part."

Isaiah Foster, the third anchor, blinked. "No casualties? In a Black Gate? With students?"

"Not a single one." Hyun-Jae pulled up a new screen showing leaked footage of an emergency medical transport landing at NVA. "What we do know, based on VHC medical reports and eyewitness testimony from the response team, is that six students entered this Gate at approximately 1400 hours yesterday. The Gate sealed behind them, turned Black, and remained closed for seven hours."

Sterling whistled. "Time dilation?"

"Likely severe. We’re hearing estimates that suggest they may have been trapped inside for weeks, possibly months, depending on the internal dimensional variance."

The screen shifted to show grainy footage of students being carried from the Gate on stretchers. The quality was terrible, clearly shot from a distance by someone with a long-range lens, but two figures were immediately recognizable.

Celeste Vance, unconscious, her silver-white hair matted with something golden and shimmering.

And Satori Nakano, also unconscious, his arms wrapped in what looked like emergency burn dressings that glowed faintly blue.

Isaiah leaned back in his chair. "Let me get this straight. The President’s sister and the Stray Dog got trapped in a Black Gate together for what might have been weeks of subjective time, and they both walked out alive?"

"Carried out," Hyun-Jae corrected. "But yes. Alive."

"That’s either the luckiest coincidence in VHC history or the most suspicious pairing since the Bermuda incident."

The energy in the studio shifted.

"We’re not," Hyun-Jae said carefully, "drawing parallels between a student training accident and an S-Rank disaster that killed forty-seven professional Hunters."

"Of course not," Isaiah agreed, his tone suggesting the exact opposite. "Although it is interesting that Nakano’s name keeps appearing in incident reports involving high-profile individuals. The Julian Valerius confrontation at the Gala. The Necropolis Anomaly where he saved eight Sentinels including Celeste. And now this."

Sterling pulled up his own datapad. "I’ve been tracking Nakano’s public profile. The kid went from complete nobody to trending topic in less than two months. His follower count is currently sitting at three point seven million. That’s higher than some B-Rank professionals."

"The Stray Dog narrative resonates," Isaiah said. "People love an underdog story. Late manifestation, no family legacy, Zero turned C-Rank with A-Rank potential. It’s a classic hero’s journey."

"Or," Sterling countered, "it’s extremely suspicious. The VHC doesn’t grant A-Rank potential ratings to late bloomers unless they see something genuinely extraordinary. And every time Nakano gets close to someone important, disaster follows."

Hyun-Jae raised his hands in a placating gesture. "We’re speculating. What we know for certain is that Celeste Vance and Satori Nakano survived a Black Gate. That alone is newsworthy. The VHC has scheduled a press conference for tomorrow morning at 0900 to address the incident."

"Will the students be present?"

"Unlikely. Medical reports suggest both Nakano and Celeste require extensive recovery time."

The screen behind them changed again, this time showing social media posts flooding in with the hashtag #BlackGateBonnie.

Sterling groaned. "Oh no."

"Oh yes," Hyun-Jae said, pulling up several posts. "The internet has decided that Celeste and Nakano are the Bonnie and Clyde of Gate runs. Some are calling them the Disaster Duo. Others prefer the Calamity Couple. My personal favorite is the Gateway Drug, which is terrible on multiple levels."

Isaiah scrolled through his own device. "There’s already fan art. Why is there fan art? The incident happened twelve hours ago."

"The internet moves fast when attractive people nearly die together." Hyun-Jae pulled up one particularly elaborate piece showing Celeste and Satori standing back to back, weapons raised, surrounded by impossible monsters. "This artist gave Nakano a flaming sword and abs you could grate cheese on."

"He doesn’t have abs like that."

"The internet doesn’t care about accuracy."

Sterling pointed at another post. "Someone started a poll asking if Celeste and Nakano are dating. Current results show sixty-three percent saying yes, twenty-two percent saying not yet but soon, and fifteen percent screaming that they’re just friends."

"Which brings us," Hyun-Jae said, his expression turning serious, "to the question everyone’s actually asking. What is Celeste Vance doing in the Onyx Hounds?"

The energy in the studio went cold.

"She transferred," Isaiah said slowly, "from the Argent Sentinels. The guild specifically designed for elite prospects with S-Rank potential and political connections. She left that to join the historical last-place guild that exists as a dumping ground for problem cases."

"And she’s not the only one," Sterling added. "Monica Von Astrom transferred at the same time. Both girls cited personal reasons. Both girls are now taking orders from Satori Nakano, who somehow convinced them to abandon the most prestigious student organization in the country."

Hyun-Jae nodded. "We reached out to the VHC for comment. They declined. We contacted Professor Petrova. She also declined. We tried Braxton Miller, the Onyx Hounds’ faculty sponsor."

"And?"

"He told us, and I quote, ’My kids are fine. Stop bothering them or I’ll come down there and we’ll have a conversation you won’t enjoy.’"