My Scumbag System-Chapter 328: My Squad is One Part Healer, One Part Spy, and One Part Human Shield
I grabbed a marker from the side table and pulled up the holographic whiteboard. The display flickered to life, casting blue light across the faces of everyone assembled.
Seventeen names. Six slots per team. Three teams.
Math that would give a kindergartner nightmares.
I could feel Natalia’s eyes boring into the back of my skull. Emi’s hopeful gaze. Skylar’s amused smirk. Soomin’s quiet intensity. Celeste’s analytical stare. Noah pretending not to watch me while absolutely watching me.
The smart play would be to stack my team with all of them. Surround myself with beautiful women who wanted to protect me. Live the dream.
The smart play would also get us all killed. 𝕗𝐫𝐞𝕖𝕨𝐞𝗯𝚗𝕠𝘃𝐞𝚕.𝐜𝗼𝚖
A team of nothing but damage dealers and healers? No frontline tank? Six different egos fighting for my attention while monsters tried to eat our faces? That wasn’t a combat unit. That was a reality TV show waiting to implode.
I turned to face the room.
"We’re not picking friends."
The words landed like stones in a pond. Ripples spread across every face.
"We’re picking functions." I tapped the whiteboard. "Every person in this room has a role. A specialty. A reason they exist on a battlefield. If I stick you with your best friend instead of someone who covers your weakness, and you die because of it, that’s on me."
I let that sink in.
"And I hate paperwork."
Juan snorted from the floor. Marco grinned. The tension in the room shifted from romantic to professional.
Good.
"Three teams. Three philosophies." I drew three columns on the board. "Team Alpha focuses on control and adaptability. We handle the weird stuff. The Black Gates. The unknowns. The missions where the briefing says ’expected resistance: unclear.’"
I labeled the first column with a crown symbol because I was nothing if not theatrical.
"Team Beta is balance. Frontline, support, utility. The textbook raid composition. You get sent to standard Gates with predictable monster populations. Clear, extract, profit."
Second column got a shield icon.
"Team Gamma is overwhelming force. When something needs to die and subtlety isn’t an option, we send in the nuclear warheads."
Third column got a mushroom cloud.
Jaime’s eyes lit up at that last one.
I turned back to the room. "Questions?"
"Yeah." Raphael crossed his arms. "Who decides the teams?"
"I do."
"And if we don’t like the assignment?"
"Then you can file a formal complaint with the Department of I Don’t Care." I smiled without warmth. "We’re done negotiating, Santoro. The VHC wants blood. The other guilds want our ranking. Julian Valerius is probably sacrificing a goat to whatever dark god handles petty revenge. We don’t have time for democracy."
Raphael held my gaze for a long moment. Then he nodded.
"Fine. But if you put me on a team with that idiot," he jerked his thumb at Marco, "I’m charging you for therapy."
"Noted."
I turned to the whiteboard and wrote the first name under Team Alpha.
SATORI NAKANO
Natalia’s lips curved into a satisfied smile. Of course. There was never any doubt about where she would be.
I wrote her name second.
NATALIA KUZMINA
"Naturally," she murmured.
The System pulsed in the corner of my vision. Bond resonance detected. Tactical synergy bonus applied.
I ignored it.
"Next." I looked at the room. "I need information. Real-time tactical awareness. Someone who can see the battlefield and tell me what’s coming before it kills us."
My eyes found Jacob, who immediately tried to make himself smaller.
"N-no way. You don’t mean..."
"Jacob Williams."
"I’m not, I can’t, I’m literally the weakest person here!"
"You have Bullet Time." I wrote his name on the board. "Your brain processes combat data faster than anyone in this guild. You can track projectiles, predict enemy movement, identify weak points. I don’t need you to fight. I need you to think."
Jacob’s mouth opened and closed like a fish.
"Also, you’re annoyingly observant. Those conspiracy blogs don’t write themselves."
A nervous laugh escaped him. "You, you read my blog?"
"The Black Gate Files? Quality content. Decent sources. The piece on the Bermuda incident had some interesting theories." I tapped the marker against my palm. "You’re on my team. Non-negotiable."
Jacob looked like he might faint. But beneath the terror, something else flickered in his eyes.
Pride.
"Y-yes sir."
I moved on before he could overthink it.
"Healer." My gaze swept the room. Emi sat forward on the couch, her eyes bright with hope.
There was really only one choice here.
EMI AOYAMA
She squealed. Actually squealed. The sound was so pure it made my teeth hurt.
"I won’t let you down!" She bounced in her seat. "I’ve been practicing focused mana circulation and my sustained healing output has increased by twenty-three percent and I’ve been studying combat triage protocols and..."
"Emi."
"Yes?"
"Breathe."
She nodded rapidly, her cheeks flushed. Natalia’s grip on my arm tightened just slightly.
I pretended not to notice.
"Next slot." I scanned the remaining candidates. "I need someone who operates in shadows. Someone who can create openings, misdirect attention, handle problems that need a subtle touch."
Skylar pushed off from the wall.
"Try to keep up, Boss."
SKYLAR AMANE
She twirled a knife between her fingers, the blade catching the light. Her violet eyes held mine with that familiar challenge.
"I expect excitement."
"You’ll get monsters."
"Close enough."
Four down. One slot left.
The room held its breath. Every remaining member had their own expectations. Celeste probably assumed she was next. Noah would want to stay with Celeste. Isabelle had the leadership capability. Raphael had the firepower.
But I wasn’t looking at any of them.
My eyes found Monica.
She sat hunched on the couch, clutching her bag like a lifeline. Her honey-blonde hair hung in tangled curtains around her face. The amber eyes that met mine were hollow.
Julian had broken something inside her.
"Monica Von Astrom."
The room went silent.
Monica’s head snapped up. "W-what?"
"You heard me."
"But I..." She looked around, searching for someone to explain the mistake. "I froze. In the dungeon. I couldn’t, I didn’t..."
"You had a panic attack while your team leader used you as a human shield against an A-Rank monster." I walked toward her, my voice flat. "That’s not weakness. That’s trauma."
She flinched like I’d slapped her.
"You have S-Rank potential." I stopped in front of her, looking down. "Your botanical manipulation can create cover, restrict movement, generate obstacles. In the right situation, you’re an entire battlefield unto yourself."
"But..."
"But right now you have D-Rank confidence." I didn’t soften my words. She needed truth, not comfort. "You’re volatile. Unstable. A liability in any squad that doesn’t know how to handle you."
Monica’s eyes welled with tears.
"Which is why I’m keeping you close."
She blinked.
"Until you remember how to bite." I extended my hand. "Welcome to Team Alpha."
