My Alleged Husband-Chapter 987 - 880 Selfish Father
Now, in Zhang Ni’s heart, Zhang Yichen is just a selfish father. His selfishness has achieved its results; for his own purposes, he resorted to any means, not hesitating to hurt his own family, the relatives around him.
He feels that now his own father is simply terrifying, willing to only consider his own interests; in his inner world, there are only his interests. For his own benefit, he could hurt everyone around him.
He no longer understands what he has done all this for. Perhaps his actions would hurt those who love her the most, but it seems he no longer cares. Even so, he still does what he wants; he has abandoned his entire family, treating everything everyone in his family says as mere wind. He is no longer the father he used to be; he has changed, becoming entirely different, becoming ruthless and cold-hearted. Is this really his father? Why does he live like this now?
Zhang Ni has no way of understanding why his father has become like this. What exactly is the reason? Is it just a lack of love from his parents?
Even if it truly is because he lacked the love and care of his parents, he didn’t have to do such things. Has he considered his parents and the ultimate outcome once they know? Hasn’t he thought about the immense pain his mother and father would feel inside? In his eyes now, there is only himself; they are two completely different people.
Zhang Yichen knows now his image in his son’s heart has changed, but he has no way. Things have reached this stage; he can only let the mistake continue. He never imagined how miserable he would live this life. He thought he would only be satisfied if he could be happy, as long as his parents lived peacefully, without arguments over any matters. But now, the world has become this awful state. How should everything be restored to how it was initially, as though nothing ever happened?
"Child, I know deep in your heart now, as a father, I’m utterly negligent and irresponsible. We have already missed too much. You know how much I long for my parents to be by my side. You always have had me and your mother’s company, so you don’t feel what it’s like to lack your parents’ company. You don’t understand how intense that feeling is, how tormenting it is, how unbearable. We can’t possibly put all our least wanted burdens behind us, letting others bear them. No one is willing to take it on repeatedly. I honestly don’t want much; I only wish for everyone to live happily and peacefully. Why is it so difficult?
Now, deep in your heart, there is no place for me. You always feel that everything I’ve done is for my selfish desires. Do you know? Over the years, I’ve seen with my own eyes how much my grandfather has suffered, how much he longs for his son to be by his side. Over the years, I’ve gotten used to not having my parents around me, but my grandfather cannot. He’s already old and can’t withstand any disturbance or trouble. He only hopes his last wishes can be fulfilled. How could I possibly, out of my resentment, easily extinguish all my grandfather’s hopes?
How he is to me, you should know deep in your heart.
You have also seen how hard these years have been for him, how much he has suffered. He gave everything good to me.
Should I now, because of these minor matters, let all the years of his expectations be destroyed?
I once told you, I always repay whatever is said. If I can’t have something, I’d rather destroy it than let anyone else have it. But now, I can’t do that.
Because if I did, what would become of my grandfather in the end? No one can predict. Sometimes, stand in others’ shoes to consider the problems.
The selfish me of the past is over. I can no longer do as I did before, with a clear conscience, carefree, without any reason to be like I was before, treating everything nonchalantly. I am now filled with fear of life; I dread that I’ll inadvertently hurt my family. Every decision I make now is ultimately for the family’s peace and harmony. Look at this family now; does it still have what a family should possess? Home is not home; your mother has become like this. And now, because of certain things, I have to drive your grandparents out. Then, the people in this family are truly torn apart, and it can never restore to the peaceful family it was before."
Even if Zhang Ni can disregard his parents’ thoughts, he cannot disregard his great-grandfather’s thoughts.
In her heart, she understands more than anyone how good Old Master Zhang has been to her father, to herself. He always wanted to give the best to us, and now, because of these matters, he’s been hurt. Then how can she have peace of conscience? How should she face all those who have offered help? Is everything she does truly worthy of the help they once gave? Is it truly worth all the efforts and joy she gave? She never thought about how difficult her life could be. All she wanted was for everyone in this family to live happily.
Ultimately, everything her father did was never wrong; it was for this family that he became what he is today. He did this for everyone in this house to live happily ever after, step by step, getting to this point. If she still blames him for these matters, is she truly right? Then she indeed becomes the unkind, disloyal, unfilial person. No matter what, she must ensure that the family lives peacefully and happily. The most important thing for a family is perhaps living together, relying on each other, even if there are thorns ahead, still holding tightly, never separating.
