My Alleged Husband-Chapter 729 - 699: The Happiness I Want_1
In fact, Zhang Zhentian was now deeply aware that no matter how good his relationship with his wife was, she would never love him. He would never be able to give her the happiness she desired. If that was the case, why should he force his wife to stay by his side? Doing so would only make his wife unhappy. Was this really the outcome he wanted to see? In truth, it was not what he desired.
"Being with me, can’t I give you the happiness you seek, not even a little? Can’t you compromise and live with me? It is never easy for two people to be together. Although I have gone through a lot during the time I have been with you and experienced much pain, my love for you has been sincere and unchanging. Can’t you feel it at all?"
I believe you are not heartless. So why must you put up such a tough front? Would trying to love me, to accept me, really be so difficult?
Maybe one day, you will realize that being together is truly right for us. Why can’t you let go of the past and try to live a happy life with me? Maybe such a life is what we both want in the future—living happily and wanting each other’s love. Isn’t that wonderful? Why must we keep pushing each other toward the abyss of suffering, watching the one we love in pain? Can that truly bring joy or happiness?"
Xia Jing was not oblivious to this logic. Yet once certain things had happened, there was no way to revert to how things used to be. Everyone has their own path to follow, and the path she had chosen determined how her life would turn out. Time and again, the wrong choices had left her with no way to turn back in this lifetime. Decisions made time and again determined the path she would take, step by step, and these attempts defined what her life would become.
"Zhentian, it’s not that I have no feelings for you; it’s just that there are things I really don’t know how to tell you. How painful each decision I’ve made has been—you’ve seen it with your own eyes. Why must you still force me to make even greater decisions?
Isn’t it good for each of us to lead the life we desire, without forcing one another into a painful dead end?"
Perhaps when you face a dead end, you can still find a way to survive, but what about me? Time after time, I’ve taken so many measures, which in the end have only inflicted such painful decisions upon myself. I really don’t want to endure that kind of pain anymore. Everyone is ultimately so frail, so weak. I don’t want to live in such pain. Time after time, I force myself to face the harsh reality, all to avoid once again falling into the abyss of suffering. I don’t want to suffer like that again, do you understand?
Perhaps to you, no matter how much I say, it’s all just a joke. Because deep down, you can’t comprehend how desperate such a sentiment is. How many times have I made my life so difficult? Do you know how desperate I feel inside? I don’t want a life like this. All I want is to live a peaceful and stable life, yet in the end, I can’t have anything."
Zhang Zhentian suddenly found himself at a loss for words. He did not understand the meaning behind his wife’s torrent of words. Could he really not bring her any of the joy she desired?
If that was so, then why had she chosen to be with him in the first place, making him give his heart to her, only to respond with such an answer? Wasn’t that just making him feel heartbroken and suffer? Her words, time after time, had made him end up like this—what was his life even for?
What he wanted was nothing more than for the woman he loved most to stay by his side forever. Yet, why was it so simple for others but so difficult for him? In his wife’s heart, she would never love him, and her love was for another man. As for him? He had devotedly loved her for so many years and made so many sacrifices, but in the end, he received only cold, indifferent treatment from her, not even a tiny bit of genuine affection or touch of sentiment.
At that moment, he suddenly felt as if he had truly failed at life. Other men could gain their wives’ sincere love effortlessly, without giving anything in return. So why couldn’t he? Why, despite all his sacrifices, could he not receive even a shred of self-respect or dignity?
"I just want to know that I can give you the happiness you want, but can you give me the happiness I seek? Why won’t you try to love me, even just a little? Over the years, you have constantly been avoiding me—is really avoiding me a kind of joy for you? You might feel happy, but for me, it is painful. All I want is to stay peacefully by your side. So why will you never consider things from my perspective?
There are things that you think are trivial, but for a man, they are not. Have you ever thought about how your actions affect your family? If your own son found out about these things, what would he think of his mother? Have you never considered that? Why must you always be so selfish in making decisions for others? The happiness I want can only come from you, and for the rest of your life, you shouldn’t think of escaping from my side. You have to stay with me forever. After all, once you become mine, you cannot be with anyone else..."
"Maybe I can give you the happiness you want, but you can’t give me the happiness I need. Do you even know what happiness I seek? All I want is to be with the person I love most every day, smiling carefree, even if there’s occasional pain and quarrels. For me, that would suffice—to be happy with you, feeling confident each day. Even though you can give me everything I want, that’s not truly what my heart desires..."
