My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1578 - 1372: Time
If we miss a turning, in the end, there will be no way back for us.
What is missed can only be missed; no one has a day when they can undo it.
"You’re talking to me about the past now, but do you know how much I once cared about this family? I didn’t do all of that for my own happiness, but so everyone in the family could live happily. That’s why I made such decisions, but why did I end up finding out that all of this was just my own mistake? Has anyone ever stood in my shoes and considered the harm I once suffered?"
Zhang Yichen couldn’t help but laugh aloud, thinking how his mother’s worldview was entirely different from his own. Anything his mother did was right, but anything he did was wrong. Did anyone ever think that everything he wanted wasn’t what he wanted most? In retrospect, all that he invested, what did it even count for? No one ever considered everything from his perspective, and he still had a hard time.
Maybe I should have forgiven them from the beginning and not had such thoughts. But will forgiving them bring about the results I cherish the most? Will they stand in my shoes and think about my life? No, they won’t. My parents have always been so selfish, never standing in my shoes to consider me.
Perhaps the hopes I held were too high.
"Mom, hearing your words today, deep down inside, I truly don’t feel good at all. I never thought from the beginning that one day you would speak to me with such a tone. I just wanted everyone to live happily, but in the end, you treated me with such an outcome. In your eyes, am I just your son, no matter what? If you really considered me your biological son, then today you shouldn’t use such words to threaten and hurt me. Every word you say is like a knife stabbing into my heart. Have you ever considered how strong my heart’s capacity to endure is?
Ultimately, I can’t believe my heart is so resilient to endure what you put me through. To this day, I have never given up, forcing myself to make bigger decisions step by step.
You think that everything you did back then was for my good, but did you ever really consider whether this is what I wanted? How difficult has it been for me to reach this point, to ensure everything I did was just so everyone could live happily? All I wanted was simplicity, yet why does this mean nothing in your eyes? In your heart, I can’t get anything. You have never considered what kind of outcome I should get. In your mind, there is only room for yourself; you cannot accommodate anyone else. Perhaps we will always be like this, but we can’t live happily and blissfully like before. All these things happening to us prove it.
Do you think I’m easy to bully? Though I might leave without giving a heads up when I have no classes, talking sweetly when I want to come back, do you think I’d still forgive you? Have you considered that nothing happens thrice? After experiencing such things repeatedly, do you think anyone would endlessly forgive you? Why should anyone keep being a fool and put up with this?
I really don’t understand how someone like you has such strong endurance deep inside. After being hurt again and again, can you still happily forgive? Can you really pretend nothing ever happened? Actually, it’s impossible. You have no way to do it because you know deep down inside that all this has already caused harm and no way can it be changed anymore. Nobody will give you everything you want for no reason. Everyone gives you these things hoping you can get the result you want most. But do you really wish for us to live happily? Again and again, your actions just make everyone feel awkward. You’ve repeatedly made me lose face in front of others. I don’t blame you, even though you hurt me again and again, I still don’t blame you, because you are my family, you’re my mother who gave birth to and raised me. I can overlook all your faults for your sake, but I really can’t act fool and cheerfully say it’s okay after being used by you. I simply cannot. Unlike that altruism, all I want is to live a light, joyful life, even if that’s not my ideal, at least it wouldn’t be this exhausting and painful. I really don’t know what attitude or method to express the kind of life I should have. I’m so, so tired. Everything I’ve done, I never thought of how I should achieve all this, not like it is now.
I intended to forgive you, but after hearing what you said, I suddenly changed my mind. Why should I forgive you when your words are so excessive, and I keep choosing to forgive you, worried you would exponentially increase your hurt? I can no longer bear such harm. I really just hope I can live quietly or freely and happily without being disturbed by anyone.
If you really want us to be happy, then please don’t use such words to hurt me anymore. Hurting me does you no good; what would you gain from hurting me once? All you would gain is a growing distance between us, one that slowly becomes unchangeable; so tell me, how should we get along in the future?
I hope you can be more lenient, give me a way out, and not use such a method to keep hurting me and suppressing me, for no good outcome for you."
Xia Jing fell silent. He never thought that today his son would say such words to him. He couldn’t believe it, yet he also knew all this was merely the consequence of his own past mistakes, responsibilities he had to bear...
Right and wrong don’t really matter, he had only made a fuss over nothing!
