My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1541 - 1335: Alarm Clock
Zhang Yichen felt that no matter what, she should persuade her mother, that in any case, she should not allow her mother to treat her father like she did in the past.
"Mom, actually, no matter how you talk about this, you were at fault first. In any case, you shouldn’t treat my father like this. Even if he abandoned me, left my grandfather, left our entire family, and even drove my grandfather into the hospital, I can forgive him because he’s my father. No matter what mistakes he’s made, he’s still my father, the one who gave me life. If it weren’t for him, how could I possibly be where I am today? Both of you, step by step, have made me who I am now, but you never considered how difficult my past was. You were never there during my upbringing. Do you know how terrifying it was to grow up day by day, going through one grueling training after another? I cried in fear there, but no one ever reached out to help me!
Training in a place so dark you can’t see your hand in front of your face—who among you can feel the fear inside a child of a few years old? Who among you can understand the shadows my heart bore at that time? Because you focused only on your own ideas, you forgot that your closest family members most need your company. You actually don’t know how to take care of your family. Your actions were just to fulfill your personal desires, but is what you call freedom really that important? These years, you’ve gained freedom, but are you really happy and joyful? You’ve gained freedom but lost the family that loves you the most, and lost your home. You wander aimlessly, without a permanent place to stay, living every day in fear and anxiety. Is that the life you wanted?
Mom, no matter what, I will still call you mother, because no matter what, you have always secretly paid attention to what I’m doing. I know you don’t ignore my existence, you just don’t know how to interact with your biological son. I can forgive everything, no matter how much you hurt me at first, no matter how many times you destroyed my happiness, I can overlook it. But for my father’s sake, there are some things I must make clear to you. Your actions really place my father in a difficult position. Don’t you know how deeply he loves you? He’s willing to give you all his love. Must you really peel away his love for you layer by layer like an onion? If that day really comes, can you really find happiness?
The human heart is made of flesh; it can feel pain. Love is not one-sided; who would want to give everything only to receive an iron-hearted response? If you weren’t worried inside, these matters we wouldn’t tell my father. We don’t want to make him sad or upset, nor do we want him to fall out with you. But some things need to be moderated; don’t keep hurting her like before. She’s really changed a lot to keep up with you. She never used to be like this, but for you, she sacrificed so much. You should understand her feelings. If you keep hurting her, she’ll only drift farther away. Everyone has a different way of living. Perhaps our way of living is different from yours, but we hope you can live in our way. You’ve returned to this big family, now part of the official family, so you should get used to our family’s way of living and not live alone as you did before. That’s not a life that can last!"
"My dear son, thank you, mother, for saying such touching and heartfelt words to me today. Actually, I know very well inside that once some things happen, there’s no way to change them. Do you think I don’t want to return to the way things were? I only wish time could turn back and give me one more chance; that would be enough. I’ve truly lived a sorrowful life, lost the person I loved the most and who loved me the most, and in return, I received nothing but heartbreak and pain repeatedly. All of this, I created by myself, with no one else to blame because I know some things cannot be changed in this lifetime. The things I’ve missed are missed forever. I only feel sorry for myself, wondering why I never considered others’ feelings when acting on impulse, never thinking of the consequences. I deeply regret it. I don’t ask for time to turn back; I only ask the heavens for one more chance, even just once, to let me go back, to let me apologize to the one I loved most back then, and to let me be with him wholeheartedly; that would be enough!
Sometimes, I really hate the heavens for giving me only one chance. What I want is far more than this. I would give up everything for him. If I’d known how deep my love for him was, and his love for me was so profound, I would have spared no cost, endured the most severe consequences rather than do things to hurt him. The constant remorse and anguish made my heart numb. I no longer remember who I am; I only know my heart has always loved him. I’ll never change this lifetime; I only want to stay by his side. But why did the heavens play such a heavy joke on me? What were all those arguments for, over and over again? Was it because of someone else’s interference? Ultimately, the involvement of a third party made everything extraordinary!
Child, grasp your happy life; that’s what’s most important. Don’t be like your mother, who regrets after losing. By then, it’s too late. I only blame myself for why I acted like that. The phrase ’Had I known it would be like this, why did I do it at first?’ is for me. I know how much pain my actions have caused, how much psychological shadow to those who loved me. I have no way to tell or measure it. I only know that this lifetime, I walked a road of no return, because my choices hurt the one who loved me the most. This lifetime, I can only live in sorrow; sometimes I truly pity myself..."
