My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1471 - 1265: The Night

No one will ever truly know what the other person is thinking. Time and again, seeing them hide and waver before me, I already knew in that moment that I no longer held any place in his heart’s depths, yet I still stubbornly refused to let go.

Perhaps this is indeed a kind of self-destructive love. Loving him, I sacrificed everything for him, only to receive in return his repeated hurt, leaving me battered and with wounds that refuse to heal.

Zhang Zhentian wondered what the purpose of his wife’s life truly was. In her eyes, he was never an important partner in her life; to her, he was ultimately merely a passerby.

He is now numb, unsure of how to comfort his demeanor or persuade his wife to abandon the man she keeps in her heart. Ultimately, every occurrence only brings him repeated pain, and no one knows what conclusion all of this would bring him.

"Sigh!

Xia Jing, you are my wife. Even if in your heart you aren’t living for yourself, can you live for me just once? Can you not be so selfish? You say such hurtful things for a man who’s already gone, to the people around you who accompany you. Do you think that’s fair?

Perhaps I shouldn’t seek fairness in you, but some things I really can’t tolerate. I just want to stay quietly by your side, but you push me away. Your heart is always thinking of another man. What do you take me for?

You might think I’m being petty as a man, but I ask which man would willingly see his wife’s heart always pining for another man, with no place for her husband. If it were your heart, would you be happy or satisfied? You’ve always cared for your own feelings, forgetting what pain those who love you most endure because of your actions.

Maybe I’ve said too much and meddled too much; I shouldn’t keep nagging you with these matters. But if you truly consider the severity of the issues from others’ perspectives, maybe they wouldn’t tell you such heartfelt words repeatedly.

I’ve given you everything, treated you sincerely over and over, but all I get in return is your heartless treatment. No matter what I do, I never get the right decision from you. What do you even take me for? I’m merely your effort, thinking it’s rightful for me to treat you well. But you’ve forgotten, I owe you nothing; I only treat you like this because I want you to live happily. It’s not for any other reason. Why won’t you think of my feelings in everything you do?

We once gave up our child and family for freedom. At that moment, I was happy and joyful, but as time passed, I realized I’m not truly happy. I believe in enduring pain and torment, fearing one day the nightmare will come, longing to be with the one I love most.

But for you, I’ve sacrificed so much. Don’t you have any idea? In your eyes, what kind of person am I? Am I someone who would use any means to achieve a goal?

I really hope you try to understand me. Don’t judge another’s life path because of your material concerns. That results in dissatisfaction for everyone. You’ve only known your own joy and pain, forgetting the hardship of my love for you. Step by step to today, do you not remember how hard it was to accompany you through every night?

"Countless nights you’ve been by my side. I’ve never forgotten how you treated me, but my heart truly has no way to love you! 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢

If there’s no place for you in my heart, yet I say I like you, wouldn’t that be deceiving your feelings? How can I keep telling you such things? I just want you to know things aren’t like that.

You say the heavens treat you unfairly, but are they fair to me? They test me repeatedly, challenge my limits, and in the end, what do they take me for? Just a tool to test life, exploited over and over, returning alone and scarred, never considering all the pain I’ve endured. You always only know your own joy. Aren’t you selfish?"

Zhang Zhentian was rendered speechless by Xia Jing’s words. He knew all she mentioned were true facts, things that indeed happened, and he never chose to stop it, allowing the mistake to continue. Perhaps for every family, this unspeakable pain is something that cannot be severed. Everyone believes their actions are right, but who ultimately is at fault isn’t for them to decide; it’s judged by others. A person’s lifelong outcomes aren’t easily seen, but reflect in the chosen paths, showing the choices they’ll face.

"If you don’t want your life to lose meaning, I hope you can live for yourself once. Do you know such chances are rare? Many wish to live for themselves, but are mired in family and sickness, unable to find happiness their whole lives.?

Those displaced people beg repeatedly for kindness. Do you know that pain?

My conditions aren’t the best, but I use what I have to help those in need. To you, this might be trivial, but to me, it’s a profound realization from the soul. You all repeatedly think my actions are mere performances. Yet who among you knows I’m sincere in everything, only to receive suspicion and doubt, making my heart hard to accept!"

I sacrificed my heart for him, but he, for other reasons, abandoned all his promises to me.